- Hey everyone.
Welcome back to another episode of pleasure trove
where we talk about news, media,
and culture around sexuality.
Did I nail it?
Is that a better summary of what this show is?
I've been trying to figure it out
but that's my best attempt so far.
So it's been a while since the last episode
and there's been a lot of stuff in the news
that I think is worth talking about
and then also I have some TV, podcast,
and just general stuff, recommendations
and things to discuss with you.
If you are new here, welcome, I'm Hannah.
I make videos about sex and relationships
and if you haven't already subscribed,
please do so if you would like to.
Quickly before we start, content warning in this episode
for discussions of rape, abuse,
sexual violence and transphobia.
So without further ado, let's dive in to some news.
There's going to be timestamps in the description
for the different things that we discuss
so if you need to skip anything, that is absolutely fine.
Look after yourself first.
So a recent domestic abuse bill was passed
which is going to come into effect
in England and Wales at the end of this year,
and there's a clause in it
banning the rough sex defence in murder.
This defence potentially allows perpetrators
to avoid justice by claiming that their victim
consented to rough sex which led to their death.
The campaign group We Can't Consent To This
have collected 60 examples of women
who were killed during sex gone wrong
and they say that 45% of these cases
either the perpetrator got a lesser charge of manslaughter,
they got a lighter sentence,
or their death wasn't investigated as a crime at all.
Someone who is on trial for murder during sexual activity
gets the privilege of being able to stand up in court
and say that the sex was consensual.
It is their word against a dead person's word.
Now, obviously I think
that this rough sex defence is disgusting.
It shouldn't be allowed, like the campaign group's name
is We Can't Consent To This.
That is not consensual.
That is not what consensual rough sex is.
It does not lead to somebody's death.
Now here's the catch.
There is actually no such thing
as a rough sex defence to murder.
It has already been established in common law
that a person cannot consent
to being seriously injured or killed.
This has already been established.
So if it doesn't exist,
how are people using it as a defence?
And how has this non-existent thing
now all of a sudden been banned?
We need to look at how murder law works.
So in order to prove murder,
the prosecution have to prove that the defendant intended
to kill or intended to cause serious harm.
So the defence of, well, I intended to cause some harm,
but I didn't intend to cause serious harm
or to kill is what might get someone
a manslaughter sentence instead of a murder sentence.
So how does this work
in the context of consensual rough sex?
The defence isn't my victim consented because legally
they cannot consent to being killed,
but their defence could be, well,
I intended to cause some harm
but not serious harm or to kill.
And if the jury can't be sure of the defendant's intent,
it is likely that they would still be guilty of manslaughter
because somebody is still dead.
They still killed a person, but they cannot prove intent.
So what does this mean to this bill and this clause
that has recently passed?
The government haven't actually done anything.
They claim to be helping, but it has in fact done nothing.
It's just put in statute law what is already in common law.
Now I had to look up what the difference
between statute and common law was
because this is not something that me as a civilian knew,
but basically common law is a precedent
that is set in the courts.
So by judges and from rulings.
And statute law is what parliament does.
They write things into law.
And both of those things are the way
that our legal system works and how laws come to be.
That is my botch job attempt
of describing statute and common law.
Actually, we can give the government some credit
by writing into law, even though technically
it changing nothing it has got the media and news outlets
talking about this for a good week, a whole week.
So what can be done because obviously
we don't want people to die
and we do not want people to think
that they can have consensual rough sex and it go wrong
and kill somebody and get a lesser sentence for that.
Campaigning is still important.
Raising awareness around this issue will make judges
and jurors more critical
when they hear these things coming up in court.
And then also social reform and education.
Yes, it's not the sexy answer because obviously
it takes time and it is slow and you are not going to reap
the rewards in the same way that you would be saying,
we passed a bill and we solved a problem.
Doesn't work like that.
And also it's really important to note
that the rough sex defence is not BDSM.
The simultaneous glamorization of BDSM
that we have seen in recent years,
but alongside the stigmatisation
of it still is what leads to people
engaging in BDSM activities
without knowing how to do it safely or consensually.
I think we need to be de-stigmatizing BDSM,
allowing people to explore their sexualities in a safe
and informed way and educate young people about consent
and challenge nonconsensual and rape culture
wherever we see it.
What do you think about this whole thing?
What do you think can be done?
Whether in the legal system or in social reform
and education, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
The next thing I wanted to talk about
was J.K. Rowling's blatent transphobia
and this has been covered many, many times.
In fact, I want to recommend to you a video
by Jamie and Shabba.
It is an hour long taking you through the main points
in J.K. Rowling's essay and debunking
a lot of the transphobic comments that she says
and why they are harmful and offering scientific research
and peer reviewed studies to counter them
and basically just say why everything
that she's saying is bullshit.
So if you haven't already
definitely go and watch that video,
then I'm also going to link to an essay
about where J.K. Rowling's transphobia comes from
and this is a really great essay giving a bit of an overview
into the British media and how our journalism
and our media outlets are so transphobic.
The British media has this unrelenting obsession
with attacking trans people and so far
privilege in UK journalism has gone completely unchecked.
Journalism in this country majority white,
it's majority private school educated
and I do not have the answers on how to change that.
But one thing that we can do
is diversify our own news intake.
I would recommend checking out
Galdem, Pink News and Double Down News.
And to top it all off Boris Johnson
and the conservative government have scrapped plans
to reform the Gender Recognition Act,
which would have allowed trans people to self identify
and it would have made that process so much easier,
so much less dehumanising than it currently is.
And this is after two years of consultations,
two years of public pressure to get the GRA reformed
and they just scrapped it.
And honestly, I think that the treatment of trans people
in this country by our government,
by our media is just disgusting, it is abhor ant,
and I just want to say to my trans audience
that I really hope that this is a place online
that you feel welcome and that you feel like you
can be yourself and express yourself how ever you want to
and I'm so sorry that this country and society
is piece of fucking shit when it comes to recognising
your humanity and your human rights.
And it's powerful people like J.K. Rowling
who just make it all so much worse.
She'll never be cancelled.
She can't be cancelled.
She is so wealthy, so privileged
and there are people who listen to her.
I hope that you're doing okay.
Bit of a tone shift now, love a good tone shift
and we have some good news about Animal Crossing
and you might be thinking, Hannah,
what on earth has Animal Crossing got to do with sexuality?
Well, I read an article about how sex workers
are using Animal Crossing and I am so here for it.
They're getting creative working
within Nintendo's restrictions in the game.
And honestly, I think that we should all be recognising
sex workers for who they are,
which is a resilient, creative,
and hardworking group of people.
I've seen images of people decorating their homes
like BDSM dungeons and doms and subs
are meeting up virtually in Animal Crossing
and the subs will do things for the dom like watering
their plant, de-weeding their garden.
And honestly, I just love it.
Giving them gifts, some doms are charging real money
for people to access their island and getting creative
with things like using the butterfly net for spanking.
And I just love it.
I love it.
Okay.
So now I have a podcast recommendation for you.
It is Decolonizing Contraception's new podcast
called The Sex Agenda.
Now Decolonizing Contraception are a collective
of black and people of colour
who work in sex and reproductive health,
and they are championing racial and reproductive
justice within the field.
Their podcast is fairly new.
I've listened to the first two episodes.
The first is about reproductive justice
and the second one is about decolonizing sex education.
Now I know a lot of my viewers
are obviously really interested in this topic
because that's what I make videos about
but if you are in the field
of sex education or sexual health
then I genuinely believe that this podcast is a must listen.
Also, if you want to learn more
about decolonizing contraception in general
and the work that they do check out their website.
And also they have a Patreon and I recorded an episode
of my podcast with their founder, Dr. Annabel Sowemimo.
So you can listen to that to also find out more
about her journey.
T.V favourite.
Obviously "I May Destroy You".
If you haven't watched it yet,
I understand there's a lot of TV out there,
but you need to make it a priority.
If you have watched it, what did you think?
Did you like it?
Honestly, it's one of those shows
that just has so many layers.
Like I feel like it's one of those ones
that needs a rewatch.
It deserves a rewatch because the amount
that Michaela Coel packed into it
you just kind of feel a bit overwhelmed by the end of it,
of like how much she managed to get in there
without it feeling like here's an issue, here's an issue.
Like it wasn't like that at all because you know,
human beings exist who embody and experience a wide range
of different issues
and that is just life, unfortunately, sometimes.
And all of these things are connected as well.
There's so much about race, about friendship,
about sexuality, about sexual violence,
about trauma, about healing, mental health, LGBT issues.
What else?
Social media, the different treatment of a female victim
by the police and a male victim by the police.
Stealthing was covered like, whoa, there's so much.
And it was all done with so much love and humour
and just brilliant writing and beautifully filmed.
It felt very intimate.
It felt very intense and no spoilers,
but that final episode fucked me up.
If you like a show that has like a satisfying ending
and I know that it's like, well,
who doesn't like a show with a satisfying ending?
No, but I mean like one that punches you in the face
multiple times and then massages you better.
I don't know.
That's a terrible analogy, but watch "I May Destroy You".
And then on top of that,
I was a bit late to the party in discovering
that the BBC have this Obsessed With podcast.
So when they release shows on BBC,
they have accompanying podcast episodes of people
talking about the show.
I've not listened to all of the episodes,
but I had to listen to the final episode
because Michaela Coel was on it as a guest
and they talked about the series in general,
but specifically talking about those final two episodes.
And then just hearing about Michaela Coel's process
of writing it and some of the Easter eggs
that she left in there and what the show meant to her.
So if you liked "I May Destroy You",
also listened to that podcast.
Okay.
Have I gushed about "I May Destroy You" enough?
And now for some stuff,
because I don't know how...
My stomach is like going mental right now.
And now just for some stuff,
because I don't know where to categorise these things.
Lina Bembe, who is a porn performer,
I interviewed her for my podcast about sex school,
which is explicit adult sex education.
She has recently partnered with The Female Company,
which is a German company on menstrual cup tutorial videos
and now these are like fully nude
showing you everything on how to use a menstrual cup.
They are now hosted on The Sex School hubs website,
but they were also originally hosted on PornHub
because they showed her vulva.
Like you can't put that stuff on YouTube,
but you can watch them on Sex Schools website now.
So if you are interested in learning
how to use a menstrual cup
or you're just interested in like being exposed to nudity
in a non-sexual context.
So you can, you know, get used to that because nudity
isn't inherently sexual.
Then there you have it.
And then also somebody recommended to me
this tarot deck called Sluttiest Tarot,
which is like a sex positive tarot deck
with all of these amazing imagery on it.
Unfortunately, I had already purchased a tarot deck
that I'm still getting to grips with
and like learning about all the different cards and stuff
so I thought best to kind of like learn
with that deck before I purchase another one
but I wanted to just to shout it out
because I feel like some of you guys
might be interested in it too.
So there you have it.
I was having a look at some of the cards online.
I was like, dammit, if only I knew that this pack existed,
but now you know, okay.
Thank you for watching.
Feel like this has been a particularly
long episode of pleasure trove.
I hope that you enjoyed it.
I hope maybe you learned some new stuff
or got some new recommendations.
Please let me know your thoughts on all of these things
in the comments and thank you to The Common Room,
my Patrons for supporting these videos
and I'll see you in the next one, bye.