- Guardian Leviostin.
Wait, wait, is the second word Leviostin?
- (React) No! - No!
Guardians of the Galaxy! - Yes!
- (React) We're diving into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter today,
and playing a game of finish the line.
- Woohoo! - Yeah, the best kind of magic...
- I don't [censored] know this [censored].
- I am gonna rock this! - I am nervous.
- Let's do it, baby!
- (Dumbledore) I award Gryffindor House 60 points.
- Look at them, they're like
tiny little beans. - They're so young!
- (Hermione) We tied with Slytherin!
- (Dumbledore) And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery
to stand up to your enemies...
(buzzer rings) - And for that,
I award Slytherin 18 points!
- 75 points for Gryffindor. - (React) No!
- And now, to Neville Longbottom, for his bravery?
(buzzer rings) - And for that,
I award Gryffindor 50 points! - (React) No!
(buzzer rings) - And for that, zero points.
- And even more bravery to stand up to your friends?
(buzzer rings)
- (React) Good enough, I'll give you the points.
- Yeah!
(buzzer rings) - And even more for our friends.
- (React) Close enough, I'll give you the point!
(bell rings) - Nice!
- But a lot of energy to go inside of them.
- No, no, what? To go inside your enemies?
- I don't know, I just, I got lost.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- (Dumbledore) But a great deal more to stand up to your friends.
- Oh. - Get the [censored] out of here.
- (Dumbledore) I award 10 points. - I knew the 10 points.
- (Dumbledore) To Neville Longbottom. - To Neville Longbottom.
- Way to go, Neville Longbottom!
- Damn, he didn't give him a lot of points!
- 10 points! - 10 points.
- You get six, but what you did over here, nerd raker...
- Nerd raker? (laughs) - You get 10. (laughs)
- (Ron) Wingardium Leviosa! - Leviosa!
- (Hermione) No, stop, stop, stop.
You're going to take someone's eye out.
- Do you see this?
- (Hermione) Besides, you're saying it wrong.
- Oh. (buzzer rings)
It's Begone Mother[censored]!
- (laughs) Begone Mother... (buzzer rings)
Expecto Patronum! - (React) No!
(buzzer rings) - Ugh!
- It's not Leviosa, it's Levio-sa. (bell rings)
(buzzer rings) - It's Leviosa, not Levio-sa.
- Guardian Leviostin!
(buzzer rings) - En guard, Livingston!
(buzzer rings) - En guard, Levicoskin!
Wait, wait, is the second word Leviostin?
- (React) No! - No!
- Levostin.
- (React) Why did they cast you guys in this episode?
- Guardians of the Galaxy! - Yes!
- (Hermione) It's Leviosa, not Levio-sa.
- (Ron) You do it then if you're so clever.
Go on, go on.
- I can't do a British accent for [censored].
- Wingardium Leviosa.
- La-guard Levioso.
- (both) Ooh!
- (Molly) Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours
to Surrey and back last night.
- (Arthur) Did you really? How'd it go?
(Ed laughs) - I mean, the best dad.
- That would be me, that's me as a parent.
- (Arthur) Now, Harry, you must know all about muggles.
Tell me. (buzzer rings)
- Oh my gosh, that was so fast.
- Do you know a muggle? (buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Can they reach the pedals?
(buzzer) (both laugh)
(buzzer rings) - How do you work a rubber duck?
- (React) Very close!
- What does a light socket do? - (React) No!
- What does a plug do? - (React) No!
- It was, what does a rubber duck do?
(buzzer rings) - What are rubber ducks for?
- Tell me. (buzzer rings)
Are they as good as I've heard?
(both laugh)
- What do you use a rubber duck for?
- (React) So close!
- That's what he says. - What exactly
do muggles use a rubber duck for?
- (React) Close enough, I'll give you the point!
- Wow! (buzzer rings)
- What's the utility of a rubber duck?
(bell rings) - (React) Close enough!
- Okay, give us a hint, Joe.
- (React) What exactly is the function of a...
- Tell me, what exactly is the function of a muggle?
(buzzer)
- What exactly is the function of a...
(both laugh) (buzzer)
- (Arthur) What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- That's so... - That's so dumb.
A friggin' line.
- There's seven [censored] movies, man!
- I knew what a muggle was! - Golly!
I know Dobby dies!
- (Sirius) Sorry about the bite, I reckon that twinges a bit.
- (Ron) A bit, a bit!?
- (Sirius) Normally, I have a very sweet disposition as a dog.
The tail, I could live with.
- Oh, go, please, go ahead. - No, no no no! (laughs)
(buzzer rings) But the ears, I cannot.
(buzzer rings) - The fleas, I cannot.
(buzzer rings) - But not the fleas.
(buzzer rings) - But the fleas, I can do without.
(buzzer rings) - But not the fleas?
Did I say that already? - Yeah, you said it, you did.
- It's the breath I could do without? It's the teeth, I could do without.
- (React) What would suck about being a dog?
- I'm trying to think about that!
It's the fur, the coat, I could do without?
- It's the... - It's the shedding!
(buzzer rings) - It's the fleas I could do without.
- (React) Ah, he got it! (laughs)
- Did he really?
(buzzer rings) - But the teeth.
- (React) No!
(buzzer rings) - But the fur!
- (React) No!
(buzzer rings) - But the farts.
(React laughs)
(buzzer rings) - But the balls.
- But the fleas are not good.
- But the fleas are murdering me.
- (React) There's the line! - Are murder.
(buzzer rings) - But the itching.
- Oh, oh Sharon! - But the fleas!
- They're killing me! They're dangerous!
- But the fleas are... - They're deadly!
But the fleas are deadly! - But the fleas are driving me...
(buzzer rings) But the fleas,
they're murder. - They're murder.
- (React) Yes!
- (both) Yeah!
- Go Sharon, go Sharon! - Woo!
- (Sirius) But the fleas, they're murder.
- Highly underrated actor.
- Who says that, though. - Nobody.
- That doesn't even make sense, they're murder.
- (Minerva) A dance.
(crowd chatters)
Silence!
The House of Godrick Gryffindor... - A dance!
- (Minerva) Has commanded the respect of the wizard world
for nearly 10 centuries.
I will not have you, in the course of a single evening,
besmirching that name by behaving like a...
(buzzer rings) - Peasant.
(buzzer)
- Babbling bunch of... (buzzer rings)
Bossy baboons. - (React) No!
- Like a big ball of bitches. (both laugh)
(buzzer rings) - Like a bunch of baboons.
(buzzer rings) - Babbling band of baboons.
- By behaving like a bunch of baboons.
- Bunch of bad, belligerent. - (both) Baboons.
(buzzer) - (React) Ooh!
- Bumbling, bum bum, baboons. Something like that.
- (Minerva) Babbling, bumbling, band of baboons.
- Can you imagine how many times she probably had to do that scene?
- Babbling, bumbling. - (both) Band of baboons.
- (React) The alliteration is so good that it's almost musical,
which is why I'm gonna show you this clip.
- A song?
- ♪ Babbling, bumbling ♪ ♪ Band of baboons ♪
- Turn me up!
- ♪ Babbling, babbling ♪ - Bumbling band of baboons.
- ♪ Babbling, babbling, babbling ♪ - Bumbling band of baboons.
- ♪ You bureaucratic ♪ ♪ Bureau, bureaucratic ♪
- ♪ Boons, boons, boons ♪
- ♪ Bitches ♪
- ♪ Blasphemous ♪ - ♪ Bouncy ♪
- ♪ Big ol' bitties ♪ (both laugh)
(Harry screams) - (Voldemort) Crucio!
Atta boy, Harry!
Your parents would be proud.
- Big shifting point in the franchise.
- (Voldemort) Especially your filthy, muggle, mother.
- (Harry) Expelliarmus!
- Expelliarmus, he uses that for everything.
Come on, Harry.
- Why do they always go with these like weak-ass spells?
- (Voldemort) After tonight, if they speak of you,
they'll speak only of how you begged for death, and I...
- And I. ♪ And I ♪
(buzzer rings) - Killed you like the bitch you are.
(both laugh)
(buzzer rings) - Obliterated you.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Defeated Harry Potter.
- (React) Ooh. (buzzer)
- (Voldemort) Being a merciful lord, obliged.
- Obliged. - Get the hell out of here.
- See, it's just too fancy words for us.
- Obliged.
- Can we just dumb this down a little bit?
- Yeah!
- (Luna) Would you like me to fix it for you?
Personally, I think you look a bit more devil-may-care this way,
but it's up to you.
- (Harry) Um, okay. - Give it a go.
- (Harry) Yeah, give it a go. - Give it a go.
- Give it a go.
- (Luna) Episkey. (Harry screams)
- Quite different. - She makes him a beak.
- How do I look?
- How do I look? - (Harry) How do I look?
- See, why did I know that? I knew that!
I was like how do I look, I knew that part.
(buzzer rings)
- Something, and then he says brilliant!
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Beautiful.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Good as new.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Fixed.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Like normal.
(buzzer)
- I'm not really attracted to you, so like, I don't know,
but like, your nose should be working right now.
- Normal, fine. - How about you breathe in,
and tell me, bitch!
(buzzer rings) - Quite extraordinary?
(buzzer rings) - Extremely ordinary.
- (React) Oh, you're so close!
(buzzer rings) - Exceptionally ordinary!
- (React) You got it! - Oh my God!
- I remember! She goes exceptionally ordinary,
and then he goes brilliant!
- (Luna) Exceptionally ordinary.
- Oh, yeah, that bitch. - Oh.
- Why don't you play some John Hughes movies?
I can quote those.
(dog barks)
- Aw, RIP.
- (Hagrid) It's changing over there. - Oh no.
- (Hagrid) Just like last time.
There's a storm coming, Harry.
(buzzer rings)
- And it's not going to be pretty. (buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Ah [censored]!
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Best better be ready for it?
(bell rings)
(buzzer rings)
- And it's going to be as fierce as my hounds.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - You'd better be ready.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Winter is coming.
(buzzer) (both laugh)
(buzzer rings) - Are you ready?
(both laugh)
(buzzer rings) - Ready?
- (Hagrid) We'd all best be ready when she does.
- Oh. - We'd all best be ready
when she does. - Yeah.
- I loved Hagrid, he was the best.
- (both) Hello ladies!
- (George) Love potions, eh?
- God, what a great scene, too.
- (Ron) How much for this? - (both) Five galleons.
- (Ron) How much for me? - (both) Five galleons.
- (Ron) I'm your brother.
(buzzer rings) - Five galleons! (laughs)
- I pressed it. (buzzer rings)
It's 10 galleons. - Stop!
- I pressed it first, too.
(buzzer rings) - 10 galleons.
- (React) Yes!
(buzzer rings) - 10 galleons.
- (React) Got it! (Sharon laughs)
- (both) 10 galleons.
- Classic. - Love that.
- (React) So wait, was that you knowing,
or was that you just understanding comedy structure?
- That's me understanding comedy structure.
- Comedy, yeah. (both laugh)
- (Dolores) You're lying.
Wands only choose witches, and you are not a witch.
- (Mary) But I am!
Tell them Reg, tell them what I am.
- This movie was so frustrating. She's so frustrating.
- I hate Umbridge.
- (Albert) You're lying, Dolores.
(Sharon gasps)
(buzzer rings) - You bitch!
(buzzer)
- You're lying Dolores, and you will not tell lies,
and we will not tell lies. - (React) Oh, mm.
(buzzer rings) - Expecto Patronum!
(buzzer) - (React) No!
(both laugh)
- Oh wait! Oh.
- We must not tell lies. (glass shatters)
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - And I must not tell lies!
- (React) Oh! (buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Ooh girl, you're in trouble.
(buzzer rings) - One mustn't tell lies.
- (React) Yes! (bell rings)
- Yeah! - That was so...
(grunts)
(buzzer rings) - And one who lies, dies.
- (React) Ugh.
(buzzer rings) - And one must not tell lies.
- (React) Yeah! - Aw, come on!
He's faster than me, I have to keep my hand!
- (Albert) And one mustn't tell lies.
- Oh. - (both) And one mustn't tell lies.
- (Albert) Stupefy!
- Ooh, stupid [censored], see? - He did say it. (laughs)
He did!
(screw squeaks)
- That's right Dobby. You come there to save the day.
- (Bellatrix) Stupid elf, you could've killed me!
- (Dobby) Dobby never meant to kill.
(buzzer rings) - Dobby is a free elf.
(React laughs)
(buzzer rings) - Only to cause
some sort of harm. (buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Only meant to maim.
(buzzer rings) - Dobby meant to help.
- Go ahead. - Dobby only meant to hurt.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Maim or slightly harm.
- (React) No!
(buzzer rings) - Dobby only wanted to scare.
(buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Dobby only meant to stop you.
- (React) Nope. (buzzer)
(buzzer rings) - Seriously harm!
- (React) What's another word for harm?
- Seriously, aw, oh no no. (buzzer rings)
- He only meant to maim or seriously injure!
- (React) Correct! - Yes!
- Dobby only wanted to maim. - (React) Yes!
- Yeah, yeah! - Yeah!
(buzzer rings) - Dobby only meant to scare you.
- (React) Oh, no, let's listen to what Dobby meant to do.
- Ugh!
- (Dobby) Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.
- Maim.
- Wait this is...
This scene ends very sadly. (laughs)
Having not read the books, when I first watched the movies,
the Dobby scene was whatever, I mean, it's sad, don't get me wrong,
but the Dumbledore scene broke me. - (React) Gotcha.
(Bellatrix grunts)
(Bellatrix laughs)
- (Molly) Not my daughter.
(buzzer rings) - You bitch!
- Aw!
- Die bitch! - Not my daughter, you bitch!
- That's my daughter, die, you bitch!
- That's my daughter, you bitch! (both laugh)
(buzzer rings) You bitch.
- (React) You got it!
- I feel like this is rigged!
(buzzer rings) - Expecto Patronum!
- (React) No! (Jair laughs)
- Oh. - [Censored], that was.
- You bitch! - (React) Yes!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
- (Molly) You bitch!
- What a great scene.
- Then she kills Bellatrix.
(Bellatrix groans)
- Nailed her. Ooh wait, not in that way.
- (React) And wins! - Impolitely...
- Yes!
Even though I stole some of her answers!
- Many powerful assists right here.
- Oh!
- It was the one that I had to win.
- Yeah, thank you for that.
- Ah! - I mean, we [censored] killed it.
- That was amazing, Sharon. - We understood the assignment.
- We really did.
- Guys, thank you for watching this magical episode of REACT.
- Use that wand, and hit that like and subscribe button.
- Like and follow for more. - And subscribe.
- To REACT. - And send it to a friend.
- Yes, Sharon.
- Babbling. - (React) (gasps) You got one!
- Go, go Sharon, go!
- Bureaucratic. (both laugh)