- That's the fish kebab right there.
And I'm going to attempt to get that all live in one go.
What have I set myself up for here?
Oh no, we lost the cod.
(upbeat music)
- Hi, I'm Tom,
and today I'm going to be rating
other Brits fish and chip orders.
- Fish and chips are so iconic.
They're just so quintessentially British.
- I'm trying to think of a more iconic classic British dish.
- I know some people who will have like,
fish and chips with their family on a Friday,
and like, they'll have it with like a big cup of tea.
I personally think that's super weird to drink
a cup of tea with a meal, but I know that's a thing.
- I think a fish and chip shop order is very personal.
And once you've found what you like,
you stick with it for good,
which is very British.
- I tend to go for kind of like the same thing
that I got like, when I was a kid.
- I've had a pie, I've never tried a saveloy.
That's like the bright orange sausage isn't it?
- It's like cat meat and cat food and like pigeons probably.
That's what I feel like a saveloy is.
- All right, I'm ready to eat some fish and chips.
(upbeat music)
- My usual order is grilled cod and chips,
a buttered roll, obviously,
and then a mushy peas to go with it.
Like as much into a bread roll as you possibly can
because food slapped inside
two bits of bread is infinitely better.
It doesn't matter what it is.
It's always going to taste better in a buttered bread roll.
- First things first,
a lot of this seems super normal.
Like, a buttered roll people might think is weird.
I totally get it, I love bread and butter.
The grilled fish.
What's going on?
What's that about?
- Like who the hell's going to a fish and chip shop
and ordering a bloody grilled fish, mate?
Like this should be illegal.
This shouldn't even be an option.
Like, what are you doing?
I know I'm getting a bit annoyed by this now.
Is it a health thing?
Because if it's a health thing,
don't be getting fish and chips.
- Yeah I think this person is trying to be a bit healthy.
But I have to say, what's the buttered roll on the side
so what's the point?
- Whoever it is, we're not friends anymore.
So I feel it doesn't really matter.
- First thing is, I'm going to create a chip butty,
cause I think that's what they want from me.
I'm going to do it real nice.
I'm going to line them all up,
because you have to be respectful of people's orders.
You know what I mean?
This obviously means something to someone.
So I'm not going to do it an injustice.
- I can't remember the last time I had a chip butty.
I absolutely love them.
But it's carb on carb isn't it?
So it's just something that,
oh look at this, this looks so good.
- There's no like, ketchup,
and I feel like you want ketchup.
Even a curry sauce with this really is needed.
So I'm going to go have the most carb-ilicious
bite of my life.
Right? I'm gonna go for it.
(upbeat music)
- To be fair.
That is so good.
- Mmm.
- Honestly, you're going to need to give me like 20 minutes.
Like honestly.
- Okay, so first things first.
I didn't even know this was an option that you could get.
Like, I just would never think like,
oh let's go to the fish and chips shop
and get something grilled.
It's like, I don't know.
It's like going to McDonald's and getting a salad.
You can do it.
You just don't.
- It's definitely a lighter version of fish and chips.
- Some white flaky fish here.
Where's the batter?
I just, I can't eat anymore cause it's like,
what's the point?
- I don't know about mushy peas man.
I don't know if that's like sacrilege
but to me that smells like a pub carpet.
- It's an embarrassment to fish and chip orders everywhere.
- I'm gonna give this a seven out of 10.
- I was thinking a six or a seven,
but I think a six is harsh
because it does taste really good.
So I'm gonna give this a solid seven.
- I'm going to be tough.
I'm gonna give it a four.
Because the batter really lost a lot of points for me there.
So I'm gonna give it a four.
- This is the meal of a psychopath I think.
Whoever ordered this,
have a look under their floor boards.
- My order is battered cod, chips,
extra salt and vinegar, curry sauce, and a Coke Zero.
I would say it's like the modern version of fish and chips.
Is that a bit bold?
That's a bit bold isn't it?
It's the katsu curry from a fish and chip shop.
My order's the best because it's classic,
but it's got a bit of a spin with the curry sauce.
And then it's got the Coke Zero
on the side just to wash it all down.
I guarantee if you try it
you will definitely be ordering it again.
- As a proud Northerner,
curry sauce in a fish and chips order
resonates with me.
That if anything,
makes me think of a fish and chip shop
more than even the smell of fish does.
- If you're looking at a beige plate,
that's as beige as they come.
And you know, just to add a little bit of color to it,
we're going to cover it in brown.
- And it comes with a lovely drink.
Which I didn't think of but yeah, I think this is a classic.
You've got to go for a DC with a bit of fish and chips.
- I think squirting ketchup all over chips is
like an absolutely maniacal thing to do.
But I think when it comes to curry sauce,
yes.
Oh, it's a party.
Oh, what a day we're having.
- It's got lovely skin on it this one.
Don't know if you can see that going in
but there's a little bit of a skin.
There it is, there's a skin of curry sauce.
I'll dip that over there, I won't eat that bit.
I probably will.
- Yeah.
Oh, it's covered in this sort of like,
thick, slightly spicy, like a soup.
Which sounds so weird, but honestly it's great.
- I have to say to anyone out there
who's never had fish and chips with curry sauce,
or like snubs their nose at it,
or just like thinks it's a weird mix.
I'm telling you, try it.
Like just, it's like an extra,
not even a quid extra for a bit of sauce.
It'll change your life.
- A chip, absolutely swimming in curry sauce.
A little bit of cod.
I'm going to chop and cut it up a little bit
and get a proper meaty bit from the middle.
I'm just going to hate it.
I'm going to hate looking at myself afterwards thinking,
oh god it's just sitting in there, but here we go.
That's a lovely little mouthful there.
It tastes better than it looks.
I'll give 'em that.
- I feel like this,
whoever ordered this,
I feel like me and them should be like a couple, you know?
We'd be like the King and Queen of fish and chips.
I feel like mushy peas, curry sauce,
is a great combo.
- It might be time to change this one up a little bit.
Just a hint.
Just a little bit.
Just needs a little bit of something extra just to
tip it into the decent meal pedigree.
Because at the moment it's just in like, food.
So I'd probably still give it a five.
- This gets an eight.
No.
No this gets a nine.
I'm gonna give this a nine.
I can't give it a (grunts).
- So I'm gonna give this one,
I'm gonna give this one an eight.
Solid eight.
- Eight, I'm gonna give it an eight.
Sorry I went back and forth with that.
I really struggled with it.
Eight. I'm gonna give it an eight.
- If I was, you know,
in pain and had a terrible hangover,
this would probably get an eight or a nine.
- So we've got the battered haddock instead of cod there.
So you've got the slight difference.
Chips with an insane amount of vinegar.
Like you need, the guy needs to be pouring it on there
and be thinking this girl is insane,
like this is a horrible amount of vinegar.
Mushy peas, a pickle,
a slight portion of chicken nuggets and chips.
Of course, you've got to finish it off
with loads of condiments.
So babes.
That's the killer.
I think that that's what makes it here to here.
- This is a beast of a plate.
The biggest gherkin I've ever seen in my entire life.
And this apparently is a meal for one
and not a family of four.
- I have never thought of the combination
of battered haddock and chicken nuggets.
I don't really see how they're going to go together.
It's like the weirdest surf and turf I've ever seen.
- I think most people would agree that
an entire fish and chips to yourself is like a big portion.
So then when you're throwing on chicken nuggets,
a pickle, and then three different condiments.
This person is going in.
- And they asked for an insane amount of vinegar.
So I'm going to put a bit more vinegar on it.
I mean, I've got the weakest amount of vinegar left.
So I think I'm literally gonna have to use it all of it
to even get anywhere near the amount of vinegar
they're asking for.
I've just put vinegar on a chicken nugget.
I've never done that before.
- How much constitutes,
I'd say that's insane.
That's like, made me want to die.
Okay.
- Oh my god.
- The amount of vinegar that's on these chips
is starting to like compromise that structural integrity.
They're becoming a bit soggy now.
I'm not here for that.
Like, how have you made something
which is so crisp become so soggy?
Vinegar that's how.
Acid, that's what you've done there.
- I'm going to put everything on the fork.
I feel like that's what they intended.
- Let's have a bit of the haddock,
a couple of chips with it.
This is what adults do I've noticed.
Adults put a bit of everything on their fork
and eat it all at once.
I feel like I'm still a child cause
I'll eat everything in like separate bits.
- Yeah, man I'm regretting this already.
That's not going to fit on there.
And let's give it a go.
Oh man.
That's like a fish kebab.
- Oh, it's just like the worst kind of pain ever.
Ketchup.
And tartar sauce.
- Oh.
- I hate to say it, but that's really good.
I really wanted that to be horrible
but that was really nice.
- I suppose I could see myself in a world where
I eat the fish and chips and then I think,
yeah maybe I could have some chicken nuggets at the end.
But I think that's a world where
I probably like, I'm overeating.
- I'd probably give it an eight.
I think at the end of the day,
you're going to like at least one thing on this plate.
- Because of the sheer enormity of this,
I didn't enjoy it as much.
I'm going to give this a six.
- I thought I was going to rate this really low,
but I'm gonna rate this a nine out of ten.
It's like go big or go home,
and they've gone big and it's paid off for me.
- It's just pulling me in too many directions.
I feel like if I ate all this
I wouldn't know who I was anymore at the end of it.
My order is scampi with chips,
scraps or butter bits,
and a whole lot of ketchup.
The little bits of batter that are left over
behind when you cook a fish.
They kind of just like sit on the grill thing there.
Get them to scoop them up, put them in a bag,
do little flippy thing with the bag, love that.
Eat it like popcorn and your essentially just eating oil.
It's fabulous.
- First of all, look at that bag.
I'm not gonna lie that's the kind of thing you want to see.
- It's quite a traditional order.
I don't know how popular scampi would be
as part of your fish and chips,
sort of your regular order.
- I don't know why it's called scampi,
because it's essentially prawns isn't it?
- It's the chicken nugget of the fish world.
Isn't it?
- I feel like it's quite an eighties dish.
I feel like this was popular at sort of finger buffets
during the eighties.
- It's good it's like a fish finger.
But less exciting than a fish finger.
- There's a little bit more flavor to scampi than
you would get with just like, a cod.
Which is what I usually go for.
Yeah, this is a great little plate
of fish and chips this one.
- I've had two mouthfuls
and I've experienced the whole play.
- What are these called?
Just battered bits?
I love them.
But how do you eat them?
- I can see why they've added them.
Cause it adds like, the extra crunch
that you don't get with a batter.
But I mean, I'd probably go without the scraps.
I don't really know if it needs it.
- That's chips and that's all the batter
with a bit of ketchup.
(beep) that's good.
- This is a very solid order.
I think this is at least getting like an eight.
Maybe even a nine.
Hey, I'm gonna go for a nine actually.
This is a great order.
- So I think I'm gonna give it a six,
because chips were good, bits were good,
scampi is a let down.
- I'm gonna rate this
(record scratch)
- Now that I've seen everyone else's,
I think this is a tougher game than
I thought it was going to be.
Yeah.
- It's not supposed to be healthy.
You're not supposed to do a healthy alternative
to anything on a fish and chip shop meal plate.
And I'm attempting to do that.
And I think that's going to go down like a sack of potatoes.
So I would say I've got 0% chance of winning.
- I think my main competition is the monster.
It could go either way.
I think I could maybe come second.
- Mine definitely won like, is it a question?
So yeah, if not who the hell are you going to judge this?
- Okay, so you guys ready for the fish and chip results?
Obviously we are missing, Owen,
who couldn't join us today, which is sad.
But um,
- He was never gonna win anyway.
- Hilariously, the person who came in last place,
(drum roll)
Owen.
- Perfect.
- I'm glad that everyone's on the same page
here with Owen's meal.
- What is going on with the grilled fish?
You can do that home.
No one's going to the fish and chip shop
other than Owen, to get that.
- Okay, so who is in third place?
(drum roll)
It is Tom.
- There is that thing where it's like,
if you didn't come last, you came one above last.
Like, is that even worse?
Like you can't even win at losing.
(group laughing)
- All right second place is, Chloe.
- Woo.
- So obviously the winner is, Steph.
Yay.
- Yay.
- Congratulations.
- I feel like, you know,
it makes sense that it's food based
that I finally win something, you know.
- It was like a monster of a plate of food.
Like I didn't know where to start off.
(group laughing)
(upbeat music)