Hey, I'm Lorraine Cink, and today, I
am going to read you a story from Marvel
Superhero Adventures Number One Web Designers Don't Get Mad.
I'm very excited for this story, because Spider-Man
is clearly at the center of it.
So, let's see what trouble he can weave himself into.
There, standing in the middle of the street,
are a whole bunch of the worst of the worst
of the Marvel universe.
The Red Skull, who's the evil leader of Hydra.
Carnage and Venom, two creepy aliens symbiotes.
The most frightening villain in the universe, Thanos,
and Thor's evil brother, Loki.
So obviously, Spider-Man is like a little confused.
"Shouldn't you guys be off fighting the Fantastic Four
or the Avengers or somebody?"
And Loki sneeringly replies, "And so we
will once we crush you."
So Spider-Man does what he does best.
He gets ready to blast Thanos in the face with his web shooters.
"You know, I'd say something about having
to go through me to get to them, but you might
take it as an invitation."
And while Spider-Man is trying to look really
cool and confident in front of all of these villains,
he's also thinking a few things.
"These are the worst super villains around.
I wish I felt as confident as I sound.
I'm way out of my league here."
And as Spider-Man shoots, his webs go
straight through Thanos' head.
"Fool!
No common insect may lay hands on Thanos."
Thanos counterattacks with big purple energy coming
straight for Spider-Man's feet.
Zakt!
"Yipe!"
Spider-Man jumps out of the way.
"But Thanos does not need to lay hands on you destroy you."
"If I'm going to tackle these guys, I better get out of reach
and come up with a plan."
But Before Spider-Man even has a chance to think--
[GLASS BREAKING]
Glass flies everywhere, and two large horrifying hands
come reaching out for him.
"Bah!
You're not out of reach of the Abomination!"
"Or the Armadillo!"
Spider-Man leaps out into the air saying, "Sorry, boys,
but the hard part isn't catching me, it's keeping me!"
But he's still thinking, "Barely managed to slip them.
You got lucky, Spidey!"
He lands on a flagpole and tries to catch his breath and think.
"I mean, the Abomination, the Armadillo.
OK, I could probably take the Armadillo, but where's
the Hulk when you need him?"
This is hard.
Spider-Man starts to lose faith in himself.
"This is too much.
I've never seen so many villains.
Where do they keep coming from?
Can't even catch my breath."
[EXHALING]
"How can anyone catch their breath
in an atmosphere full of air?"
Spider-Man whips his head around.
"Oh, you got to be kidding me."
"But the air will not prevent the surface world
from falling prey to--" and Spider-Man thinks,
"No, it can't be!
It's--" "The undersea armies of Attuma!"
"Not Attuma!"
And there he is.
The fishiest guy you've ever seen.
The leader of undersea hordes, Attuma.
This is admittedly a lot for Spider-Man.
He's already facing all of the biggest villains,
and now, there's a guy with a whole army of fish guys.
It probably smells bad.
But then, hey, look, it's Ultron with a whole horde
of mechanical baddies.
"Or the mechanical might of Ultron."
"Aagh!
Enough already.
This can't be happening.
It's a nightmare.
[HORSE NEIGHING]
"Nightmare, you say?"
"Wait, that's it!
Your Nightmare, with the ruler of the dream dimension!
If you're here, I must be dreaming."
Which makes sense.
It's a pretty unlikely situation.
"No, this nightmare is all too real.
I have crossed over to your waking world
to herald its conquest by my master--"
and then Spider-Man looks up and sees it, "the Dread Dormammu."
Now, everything just went from overwhelming Spider-Man
to overwhelming New York City.
"No!
Dormammu is one of the most powerful
beings in the universe!
There's no way I can stop him from taking over the world."
He hears another voice.
"Fear not!
Dormammu cannot conquer the Earth
when there are Sentinels to protect
the humans of this world."
"And we shall by destroying all mutants
and so-called super heroes."
"Killer robots, demons, the end of the world, this
can't be real!
But if it feels so real and it's not,
then maybe I have lost it!"
OK, so we went from a lot, to a lot a lot, to a lot a lot
a lot, and Spider-Man is starting to really
lose his grip on reality.
"That's what we've been trying to tell you."
"But don't worry, we're going to put you out of your misery."
"Oh, come on, guys, I got bigger problems
to deal with right now."
Both of those headbutting bullies
rush towards Spider-Man.
"I mean, I'm trying to stop the end of the world
while I'm questioning my sanity, and meanwhile, I've
got to be the only superhero who has two foes who like to hit
people with their heads."
Thinking quickly, Spider-Man jumps out of the way
and lets them bump heads.
Kradoom!
"You guys are made for each other.
Who am I to get between you?
Wait a minute, mechanical parts?
The Rhino and Hammerhead were robots?
If these guys aren't the real super villains,
then maybe none of the others are real either.
I didn't imagine it!
All of those villains who appeared and disappeared
could be holograms!"
And then he sees it.
"There!
A projector on that wall."
As Spider-Man looks at the projector,
he finally has a moment to think and process
and realizes that maybe it wasn't all in his head.
"Robots, holograms, illusions, all
that adds up to one villain.
Mysterio, the master of illusions!
No wonder my spider sense was tingling!
I thought the danger was all those villains,
but they weren't real.
It was really tingling because of you."
"Now, hold on Spider-Man.
Who's to say I'm even here?
Maybe I'm just another illusion.
Watch me disappear!"
Thwip!
"Nuh-uh!
You're not disappearing anywhere if I have anything to say
about it, and I say thwip!"
Spider-Man snatches away his tablet.
"So this is what you use to control all
those robots and holograms?"
A mysterious figure appears.
"An end?
My dear, Spider-Man, the madness has only just begun."
Spider-Man is not too impressed.
It's a pretty clever gadget.
"Or it was."
Krak!
Spider-Man breaks the device over his knee along
with all Mysterio's evil plans.
"OK, OK, you got me.
I figured that if you thought fighting
super villains was driving you mad,
you'd stop being Spider-Man."
So you would have gotten away with it if not for a meddling
Spider-Man, huh?"
Spider-Man zeros in on Mysterio, just
really trying to kind of understand
why he did what he did.
"You know, I can understand why you used my super villains
like the Enforcers or the Shocker,
but suddenly your choices were kind of a reach?
I mean, Fin Fang Foom, the Sentinels."
Mysterio is super confused all of a sudden.
"Sentinels?
I didn't have any holograms of the Sentinels."
"You mean, that's not a hologram?
Sentinels really are going to stomp through the city?"
Even those Spider-Man is emotionally
exhausted from all of the illusions and lies,
he knows what he has to do.
He thwips and swings off saying, "Sigh, so much for my nap.
Time to save New York again!"
"And this is why I don't need to go crazy.
Real life is crazy enough."
The end.
I hope you enjoyed that story about how Spider-Man
faced his fears and saved his sanity by calming down, taking
a deep breath, using his noggin, and finding
the real villain, Mysterio.
I had such a blast reading to you guys.
I hope you enjoyed it as well.
[MUSIC PLAYING]