Hi, my little cuties! How we doin'? Daddy's home.
How we doin'? How we doin'?
Don't ever say "daddy", please.
Cody! Cody, I like that-- that shirt. What is that?
Oh, this is-- this is.
Thank you for asking, Cody.
Yes, I am wearing the Seacrest Cruise Control...
line they just put out.
You know, you put it on, drivi'' right into Handsome Town.
Okay, uh... well I've got our first sponsor.
Oh, fresh.
Who do you guys think it is?
Uh... Army? Navy? Air Force? Beef jerky?
Is it Trojan Junior?
Hm, no, not gonna happen.
Verizon's go90 platform?
Hm, nope.
Shit, I love Verizon.
Have you seen their coverage map? It's wild!
You can hear me now.
Oh my God. D-Dose, give me a drum roll, please!
Dose!
There we go! Cody!
Our first sponsor is...
Molly! Molly...
don't do that. I wanted to do that.
Okay, sorry.
Make sure you cut that out of the edit, please.
We talked about it at the beginning, before we came here.
I said I was gonna do the sheet...
and I was gonna tell them what the water was.
Okay, that's fine, then you can do it.
Oh, it's water?
Ugh, Molly.
Alright, here's our first sponsor!
It is-uh, what was it called again?
Guelagetza.
Gueshagetza?
Gue-la-get-za.
Gibigitza?
Guelagetza.
Guditama.
Guetzagalera.
Guantanamo?
Guelegetza
G-Water is what it is!
An all-natural, high PH, natural lava rock-filtered, fortified...
gluten-free sparkling water.
Skyy, um, it says on the label...
that they're not supposed to drink more than one a day.
Who cares.
They could get really sick.
That's fantastic for TV.
And it also comes in drinkable yogurt!
Molly, hand me one.
Mm-hm.
The yogurt one.
Alright.
I take yogurt baths twice a month...
it makes my skin feel like a dolphin.
Should I...?
I think you should pass 'em out.
Okay.
How many calories does it have?
It actually burns calories.
That's really good to know.
You can post it, you can drink it, you can post drinking it.
Um, what's all th-- what's all this at the bottom?
Sediment. Definitely wanna give it a good shake...
get that stuff on the bottom.
Hey, I'm not gonna drink this shit.
Molly, show him how good it is.
Yeah, Molly.
Yeah, Molly, fuckin' drink it.
If you do it, then I'm gonna definitely do it.
Drink this shit, Molly.
Because I like you now.
I want to.
Show 'em.
Mm-mm.
You didn't drink any.
And then we say-- what do we say?
#PremiumIce.
There we go.
Ooh, that's good. It tastes like hair-straightener beer.
Mm-hm
Oh man, it tastes like you bathed in opossum
and then put some lemon in there.
Ooh, that's not bad.
Oh, see!
And guys, the brand has asked us
to make an original jingle for 'em! Ha-ha, oh!
Okay.
Yeah, that's kinda dope.
Yeah, that's easy.
I'll be back here later tonight...
and whoever makes the best song gets a special prize.
Freedom?
That is the one thing ya cannot get.
Just make sure you-- you, uh, mention
Galagatzy in the song.
Guelagetza.
Everybody together now!
(all yelling) Guelagetza.
This is honestly a really good opportunity for me.
Finally, I get to showcase to all of my fans...
what a good singing voice I have.
This is exciting.
This is the only drink I've had...
besides that special berry juice my mom gives me.
Hm-hm...
Gualetzeta.
Now I'm really excited to work on this.
Okay, so we're here writing a song.
We need to write a song.
I'm thinking-I don't know-I feel like we should pass some ideas
back and forth about like what inspires us.
Like, what inspires you?
I mean, I got the big two, dawg, God and weed, straight up.
I really don't see how those two things go together.
They're one in the same, alright?
This is how I get closer to my man upstairs, know what I mean?
Marijuana?
Hell yeah, dawg. Alright. Jesus drank, Jesus liked to party.
That's what my pastor Peter said.
I mean, I love wine.
There you go. What are you trying to spit on?
I mean, I'm inspired by things like social media...
and-and-and brands and followers.
Think about it, alright?
Jesus started with twelve followers and built a brand...
that went worldwide, dawg.
Jesus
was the first influencer.
You know what I mean?
Okay, cool.
Ay ya'll want-ya'll want to hit this?
You tryin to hit this, dawg?
Hell yeah, dude.
Honestly, this is dope as fuck.
He knows how to inhale, too.
Pass that djembe. Let's get to work.
I'm a world-famous pop star...
so making a song shouldn't be that hard.
Yeah, sure, I don't write the songs and it's not
my voice on the track,
but it's my face on the album cover
and isn't that all that really matters?
♪ If you show me your heart ♪
♪ I'll show you my feet ♪
♪ Let's have some water ♪
♪ some water to drink ♪
I just love-I love, uh, I'm really passionate about, um...
showing people my feet and also drinking water.
♪ Are you my boyfriend ♪ Are you my girlfriend ♪
♪ Let's all drink water ♪ together ♪
You know it's kinda wild.
This isn't the first time I've done a water track.
I got hundreds of little songs that I haven't released.
It doesn't matter. It's easy to come out with those.
Ah.
And done.
I'm a professional fuckin' DJ, what do you expect?
Zucchini Bread, come in.
Come in, Zucchini Bread?
It's Caroline.
(OVER RADIO) Bread here. Is this Runs with Horses?
You know it is.
I'm in the course of planning a hack into the main frame...
of someone in the neighborhood.
I'm not gonna say who it is, but it is, it's Zack Jake.
You know, it's amazing how someone...
will not protect a network, huh?
You ever think about stuff like that?
I'm actually not surprised by that information.
There are a lot of unprotected servers around here that you...
could easily take control of and connected to that network...
is a bunch of Wifi-enabled things from Amazon.com.
So, I think it would be pretty easy to take over the entire...
house if somebody really wanted to.
So cool how much you know about networking.
Reminds me, I'm dealing with a little hardware issue of my own.
That's so...
cool.
It is very hardware right now.
I had a boner that whole conversation.
Yo Matt.
Yo, what's up?
How's it going, dude?
What're you doing out here, man?
I just wanted to see-um - how you're doin'?
Doin' great, yeah. I finished my song. Everything's cool, yeah.
Oh yeah, how-how's the song?
Oh, it's great, man. Love what I did, yeah.
Alright, cool. Good talk, man.
You know....
Yeah, good talk.
Um, if you ever need, like, relationship advice.
What do you mean?
You know, just if you needed it, you know...
I'm marr-well, I was married.
Oh yeah?
I've been through, you name it, anything relationship-wise...
anything under the sun, I've been through it.
Yeah.
Good and bad, mostly bad.
Oh yeah?
But, uh, it's super weird that, um, they turned off the water...
in this house and like-I'm noticing you're kind of like...
the leader of the group.
Yeah, that's true.
I thought maybe me and you could hatch up a plan of sorts.
Yeah, this is-um-um-yeah, this is great we've had this talk.
Yeah man, well hey, you know.
It's okay, it's okay.
Like what we had was great. The vocal stuff is like really...
where you hit with another person.
Uh... whenever you're ready, I'm here.
So I mean if you ever wanna do something about it...
maybe as a housemate and like leader, you could, it'd be good.
Alright, see ya.
Gotta say, man, something is off with this water.
It tastes like if you licked a quarter or something...
like that and I gotta say...
I've been feelin like I'm poopin' all day.
I feel like I'm poopin' right now.
( SINGING INDISTINCT )
( PLAYING GUITAR )
Oh!
When did you learn to do that?
Dawg, I didn't,
it's this water.
You know, I feel like the connections being made...
in my brain, they just haven't been there my entire life.
You know what I mean?
Damn.
Alright, let's push it.
So hot 'cause of all the vibes.
Yo, you gotta hit this Guelagazeta, dawg.
For sure.
Yeah, dude.
For sure.
Ask me why I'm feeling this way...
and I'm gonna tell you that I don't fuckin' know, bitch.
It could be because I've had
five or six of these.
( BELCHES )
Look, here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna get up and play the djembe.
Okay. Fuck yeah, hit that, dude.
And we're gonna get back around to this Jesus stuff.
Alright, yeah. What do you think?
Yeah, let's bring it back to God, dawg. Let's do it.
Oh, let's go again.
Alright, you ready?
3, 2, 1, go!
Ya'll gonna do something?
Like further GoFundMe? Like maybe make a little video.
Who are you thinking?
Okay, Rose I think would be really good.
Can you get to him?
Well, he doesn't live far from here, so...
Oh, this is Mark.
We're planning that film I've been telling you guys about.
The film title's Stolen Base, takes place during the Iraq War.
It's about some older troops that are stationed there...
in kind of a far out village and uh, they befriend the local...
Iraqi villagers and um, they end up teaching them...
the great American sport of baseball and bonding over that..
and um--
It also, don't forget, it takes place on July 4th.
I think that's--
That is-yeah, that's really important...
that it takes place on July 4th.
The Taliban comes back into the town and takes over...
uh, this military base.
The soldiers, which we're really hoping to get some like...
heavy hitters, they team up with the Iraqis using the baseball...
skills that they've all learned to steal back their base.
Like the kids, one of the kids wanted to be a pitcher...
and he's throwing grenades like really precise.
One kid hits an IED with a baseball bat.
If like someone runs out of ammo, then they have to make...
a really bad-ass catch, like catching--
Yeah, that's really good.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, we were hoping is like a big lead.
He's kinda like the masculine lead. Um....
But I think a good alternate for The Rock...
would be Brendan Fraser, because he--
That could be good.
Alright, Mark, um, I gotta go, but um--
Oh, yeah.
Wish me luck in here, man.
I'll be hopefully be outta here soon, okay?
Yeah, really, really good-really good talking, man.
Hey, man, what's goin' on?
That was beautiful, man.
When I heard Jeremy talking about his passion project...
Stolen Base, I knew I had to get involved.
Fucking America, man.
You liked it?
I gotta say, it would be an honor...
to do the whole soundtrack for you.
That would be incredible! That'd be great. Thank you, man.
Honor.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you. Thank you.
You know, there's nothing I need more in my life right now...
than doin' a film soundtrack with EDM undertones.
That's so great.
( WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING )
Ay! What in the fuck are you doin' in here?
Dude, are you fuckin' bleedin'?
You're fucked up right now, man.
I'm good. I'm good.
No, you're not.
We're just making beats, I--
Skyy said we have to do this.
My child, I'm gonna help you.
I mean honestly, Cody just needs a big brother...
but it ain't gonna be me.
It's not gonna be me, for sure.
But I'll be there for him a little bit, to help him out...
and pick him up off the ground...
when he's bleeding all over my closet.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
In a river.
A creek. Water.
A cup. Your mom. Water.
Water. Water. That's the track! Oh!
Oh my God.
Wassup, Cody? Shit!
That's what I'm talkin' about. That's what I'm talkin' about.
Let go of me. Let go. Let go of me now.
Do I have a new boyfriend?
Yes.
Do I feel like I'm gonna puke blood again?
Also yes.
I'm seeing a small boy running around the house.
Is anybody else seeing this boy?
It's like I'm seeing math equations in my head...
and like, the answers are just there back to back to back...
you know, like it used to take me time, but now it's like.
I completely on impulse
ate an entire fish...
skin and everything.
But would you believe my nut allergy is gone?
I mean....
How are my favorite little influencers doin'?
Fucked up, man.
What the hell, Skyy?!
Yo, are you trying to fuckin' brainswash us?
What are you talkin' about?
I think I went through puberty.
That's great, lil bro.
Yeah, that's good.
Puberty's when you
cough up blood?
No.
Skyy, I puked blood today, too, like a lot.
This is so not about you right now, okay?
You also went through puberty today?
Alright, alright, guys! Not everyone at once.
What's going on?
We do not feel one hunnid!
In fact, we feel one hunnid and ten!
This stuff is incredible, dude.
Skyy, I puked blood, dude.
This is literally torture, Skyy, like literally.
She doesn't--
It's not that bad.
You know what, Molly, pour me a glass.
Hey, if we're pouring glasses, I'll take one.
Okay, down the hatch.
Whoa!
Jesus Christ!
What the hell?!
You're wasting it!
This is not with Premium Ice.
Yeah it is, I just refilled it.
Okay let's uh-let's take that out of the edit.
Okay, okay. So the water tastes bad. Is anything else wrong?
We can't live like this anymore, Skyy!
Look at me! I'm clearly dying here!
But I really think it's mostly negative energy...
and I think Skyy, with your wisdom and guidance...
I feel like you could dispel a lot of that...
and kinda bring us to a place--
Shut up, Dose!
Okay.
Something is clearly wrong, Dose.
You're not-- you're not being Dose.
What are you talking about? I'm more Dose than I've ever been.
Oh my God.
Hey Molly, could I actually get another bottle?
Okay, well you know what,
let's just uh,
let's hear your jingle.
Well, good news.
We banded together
and I produced one single jingle.
Okay, that's not what I asked for, but play it.
Alright.
( MUSIC PLAYING )
[CODY] Water. Water.
Today has been great...
I have no nut allergy anymore...
and I cannot see a single thing right now.