There is no such thing as a bad idea.
Well, except for these.
Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dumbest Inventions.
"And it increases your cup size two full cups.
- "But then it goes down! - "Yeah."
For this list, we're taking a look at products that sound too bizarre to exist,
but they do.
(Male narrator) "People are waiting to tee off, there's no restroom out here.
(Female narrator) "Has this happened to you? I've got the perfect gift!"
- "And I'm gonna get yours started right now. - "Oh geez louise, what's happening?!"
[Uproarious laughter]
"Whoa! Wait a minute...
"What... what does this have to do with Hawaii?!"
If you're stuck in an office all day, finding the time to work out can be a struggle.
The 'Hawaii Chair', also known as the 'Hula Chair', is intended to kill two birds with one stone.
With the appearance of a regular desk chair, this invention possesses a rotating seat that mimics a hula dance.
"This is truly the machine that takes the work out of your workout."
Users can exercise their whole body without even standing up.
At least, that's what the infomercial implies.
As far as fitness equipment goes, the Hawaii Chair is hardly a substitute for the treadmill or elliptical.
On top of that, it's too rambunctious to function in a quiet workplace environment.
Imagine answering the phone or using the computer while riding a Tilt-A-Whirl.
It's bound to end badly.
"♪ If you can sit, you can get fit
"♪ The Hawaii Chair ♪"
Do you have trouble applying lipstick?
Well, even if you do, we would not recommend wasting your money on a lipstick stencil.
"You're a WHORE! Wear your whore makeup, you whore!"
This Japanese product is supposed to prevent lipstick from bleeding outside the lines of your lips.
By strapping the uncomfortable headgear to your face, you can use the mouth-shaped outline to keep lipstick inside the lip area.
Apparently, the people behind this ridiculous invention have never heard of lipliner.
Aside from being inefficient, the lipstick stencil looks like it was designed to restrain Hannibal Lecter.
"Apparently, Louis had murdered a transient... and done things with her skin."
Of course, if you ever come across one of these eyesores, you can always use it to carve a Jack-O-Lantern for Halloween.
"A lot of kids like trendier haircuts - they like it very short here...
- "Mm-hmm. Right. - "And that long...? Or any variation on that."
Getting a haircut might be a hassle,
but buying a Flowbee isn't exactly a superior alternative.
Invented by Rick E. Hunts, and patented in 1986,
this vacuum cleaner attachment claims that it allows users to give themselves quick, precise haircuts.
(Advertiser) "Now you can maintain your favorite haircuts at all time (sic)!"
The problem is, it's not very quick. Or precise.
And some would argue that it doesn't even really cut hair.
While many have complained that Flowbees are ineffective,
2 million devices were sold by the year 2000.
This invention is so notorious, that it was actually parodied in 'Wayne's World'.
"J-just a trim, don't buzz me, alright?"
- [vacuum cleaner whirs] - [whimpering, screaming]
Instead of the Flowbee though, it was appropriately titled the 'Suck Kut'.
- [screaming continues] - "As you can see, it sucks, and it 'kuts'!
"It certainly does suck!"
(Advertiser) "It's the problem in the marriage bed that no one likes to talk about.
"Maybe that's why they call it, 'Silent, but deadly."
Couples get divorced for a variety of reasons,
although we highly doubt flatulence is among the leading causes.
"How many times have you farted in bed and held my head under the covers?!
- "That's completely different! - "Yeah, it's different, mom!"
This product is so ludicrous that you would swear it's from a fake 'Saturday Night Live' commercial.
(Advertiser) "Offending molecules are absorbed before anyone knows they're there."
We assure you though, the 'Better Marriage Blanket' is all too real.
If you or your spouse lets one rip in bed, this comforter will miraculously absorb the fart.
It even contains a layer of carbon-activated fabric.
So, does that mean it can also be used as protection against chemical warfare?
Regardless, if you want to freshen up your stinky love life, maybe just lay off the beans and asparagus.
- [man farts] - "Okay - Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my gosh...
- "Don't do that! - "What am I doing?
"Don't fart in the bed!"
(Advertiser) "This is the WineRack! Some people call it a beer bra, but we're a little classier around here,
"so this is the WineRack!"
Do you ever wish there were an easier way to drink wine on the go?
Then the WineRack is the brassiere for you.
This outrageous invention is kind of like a CamelBak for vino fans.
Instead of a backpack that carries water however, it's a bra that carries wine.
"We wear the same size."
The WineRack can hold up to 25 ounces, which is essentially one bottle of wine.
If that's not enough to quench your thirst, a wine-glass-holder necklace can also come in handy.
Of course, if you use either of these items on a regular basis, you may want to check into the nearest rehab facility,
or at least attend an AA meeting.
"And, you can be talking to a teacher, and go...
"[sucks] 'He got a WHAT?!' You know, or... 'Good kick, baby!' And you're suckin' on the thing..."
"This is a trademark patent pending product that functions as a self-contained receptacle."
You're on a golf course having the greatest game of your life when all of a sudden, nature calls.
Fear not - the UroClub will resolve your potty emergency.
"But it's a potty emergency!"
The ads for the UroClub promise a quote, 'Discreet, sanitary way for your urgent relief.'
However, there's nothing 'discreet' about peeing into a golf club with a receptacle built into the grip.
(Advertiser) "The UroClub comes with a towel, and it appears that you're just checking out your club.
"Leakproof, easy to clean, and no embarrassing moments."
Covering yourself with a towel isn't going to fool anybody either.
It's also worth pointing out that public urination is illegal in most places.
"Let's... let's not talk about 'illegal', Mr. I-Like-To-Pee-On-Little-Boys.
- "You know, it was an empty playground in the middle of the night! - "Bup, that's even weirder."
You're better off seeking out the nearest toilet, especially if it comes equipped with a Potty Putter.
Seriously? Why do inventors keep associating golf with the bathroom?
(Advertiser) "Leakproof, easy to clean, and no embarrassing moments. Order now, and get a second UroClub for half price.
"The UroClub, the only club in your bag guaranteed to keep you out of the woods."
(Advertiser) "Slide on the head halter, and tighten by pulling the chin straps forward and attaching to the Velcro around the chin."
At first glance, this invention might look like a torture device, or a really weird sex toy.
Believe it or not, it's actually intended to reduce neck pain,
but we wouldn't be surprised if somebody used the NeckPro for auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Here's how this traction device supposedly works:
First, attach the bracket to a door. Second, sit up against the closed door and put your head in the chin straps.
Third, pull the cord to adjust tension. Finally, sit and relax for several minutes,
Although, we're not sure how anybody could possibly relax under these circumstances.
Sorry, but we'll take our chances with a chiropractor over this accident waiting to happen.
"Look, it's not funny. [chuckles uncontrollably]"
Why stop at a drive-thru restaurant when you can just fire up the Car Exhaust Grill?
Sure, you might contract a fatal disease, but at least the burger will taste rancid.
Invented by Roohollah Merrikhpour of Iran, this device attaches to your car's exhaust pipe.
"Oh no, there's no exhaust pipe!
"That's right, thanks to Ed Begley Jr's Electric Motor!"
After putting a raw, beefy patty inside the grill, all you need to do is drive around and let the heat cook the meat.
While the creators claim that the fumes will travel away from the burger,
we have a hard time believing this accessory is 100% sanitary.
"Apply it to the inside of the exhaust pipe...
[car engine starts]
"...and you should have enough time to walk away before the fun starts."
Suddenly, fast food is starting to sound like a healthy option.
If you have a goldfish, you should avoid putting its tank in direct sunlight.
This not only creates a large amount of algae, but can also cause the water temperature to rise and overheat your fish.
- "Fishy! Wake up! Wake up! - "Oh, no!"
We wonder if Mick Madden knew this when he invented the goldfish walker.
A middle-aged metal worker from Northern England,
Madden felt that his two little fishies Malcolm and Ethel needed to get out and see the world.
"Klaus, you're an outside fish now.
"Not cool, bro! I'm a fish!"
Thus, he attached a fishbowl to a trolley, to create a portable aquarium.
Now, his fishy friends can experience the great outdoors like dogs,
although it's safe to say that Madden is the real fish out of water.
"Oh, forget it Daddy. I can't take a goldfish on a walk."
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case, dishonorable mentions.
"My little darling! Penny, you are so precious!
- "Now, let's take a look. That's..." - [uproarious laughter]
(Advertiser) "Kush maintains a more natural shape while resting on your side.
"No straps, no underwires, no constraint."
"Thank you! Is this for when we... buy the baby dog?
"No. It's a baby cage. It's a good one, too."
We're as shocked as you are that this invention actually existed.
Initially patented by Emma Read in 1922, the Baby Cage wasn't a best-seller in America.
Gee, isn't that surprising(?)
In 1937 however, this deathtrap was distributed to the Chelsea Baby Club in London.
- [baby crying] - "I know this looks really bad but I promise you that baby...
"What kind of a sick person would...? It's a baby in a cage!"
The idea was to attach these cages to apartment windows so infants could get some fresh air.
After all, it's not like parents can just take their babies for a stroll outside.
Toddlers are much better off playing in a wired cage with their fate literally hanging in the balance.
Seriously, though, if a parent were caught with a Baby Cage in this day and age,
we have a feeling that Child Protective Services would get a call.
"I think you might...
"...want to look up there."
[child crying]
Do you agree with our list?
What do you think is the dumbest invention ever?
(Advertiser) "When finished, just pull the chin straps away from the Velcro."
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- "I could wax!" - [people whooping and laughing]