It's been called the greatest sauce to ever walk the face of the Earth
by me.
It's been called the Italian basil smoothie
also by me.
It's been called alien blood sauce
by Devin.
Rude, Devin!
[Devin] Oh, I was-- I was just kidding-- [YSAC] Be quiet, Devon!
(In Italian) You suck at cooking yeah you totally suck.
The heart and soul of pesto is basil
which has a long, storied history
The ancient Egyptians used basil in embalming.
In Greece, basil was a symbol of mourning.
In Buck Creek, Indiana people rub it on their tires for good luck.
This mysterious plant begs the question:
How could a leaf be so tasty?
You couldn't possibly pack any more flavor
into something so thin if you try.
Unless you made a basil-bacon sandwich
which is sort of cheating, but really delicious.
(Crunch)
Mmm, basil.
This one basil leaf I bought from the farmers' market
has more flavor than
this bag of assorted deciduous
which I also bought from the farmers' market.
Get back outside!
You wouldn't think being really delicious would be a great survival strategy
but Basil's like:
[Basil] "I'm gonna make myself so delicious
you'll cultivate the f*** out of me!
(in an evil voice) and then I will be immortal
FOREVER!"
I realize both of those words sorta mean the same thing
but y-you catch my drift.
But could it just be people who think it's that tasty?
Are giraffes looking down on us, thinking:
[Giraffe] "Those stupid humans eating that trash weed.
Pass me some more eucalyptus, Rick"
Until we stop being selfish
and start teaching giraffes how to talk,
we'll never know.
Another interesting ingredient in pesto is pine nuts.
Pine nuts obviously come from Christmas trees.
Extracting them is pretty straightforward.
All you have to do is take of the shiny ornaments
and smash it to get the pine nuts out.
You can also get them from a pine cone
if you want a blander, more inferior pine nuts
that are a waste of time and disrespectful to baby Jesus.
But how is it that the pine needles contain so much
flavor and powerful bitterness,
when so many other types of needles
simply taste bland and painful?
Get back outside!
Also, do pine trees know that cactuses exist?
And if they met, would they be friends or enemies?
So this recipe calls for:
a half cup of olive oil,
a packed half cup of Parmesan cheese,
a 1/3 cup of pine nuts,
a clove or two of garlic,
and two cups of basil.
But how do you measure a cup of basil?
That's a cup of basil.
Also a cup of basil.
That's a British cup of basil.
It's much more accurate to go by weight,
but not a lot of smartphones have scales on them yet.
So, I made this homemade balance scale.
You'll know when it's exactly two cups of basil
when it balances with exactly seven to ten
small to medium-large sized pieces of random gravel.
And we're going to add a squeeze of lemon.
Now I'm not sure how many lemons were kicking
around Genoa, Italy in 1576
when somebody decided to throw these ingredients together,
but I can tell you from personal expericence
that the squeeze of a lemon ~really~ ties the room together.
I'm throwing in everything but the cheese right now
because I'm not using a food processor
where I can really control how blended it gets.
I'm gonna stir the cheese in afterward
to retain some texture.
(Sound of food blending)
Another way you could create some texture
is to power stone crush your nuts.
(Sound of food blending)
Why does pesto contain the word pest
when it is not in fact a destructive insect
or other animal that attacks crops, food, or livestock?
The word "Pesto" actually comes from
a Genoan word than means "pound"
because you used to have pound this stuff together
with a pounder.
But since we blend it now,
we should probably change its name to "Blendo".
Also, the term "gimme a pound"
Comes from the Genoan term:
If you can't get hold of any basil, pine nuts or the other ingredients,
you can make a pesto with: butter, cottage cheese,
garlic-salt, pistachios, and parsley.
Well this will earn you an instant lifetime ban from Italy,
sometimes that's the price you have to pay
to make your way in this unforgiving world.
♫ Pesto, you're the besto ♫
♫ Inside my chesto ♫
♫ Pesto ♫
♫ Pesto, let's make a nesto ♫
♫ Where we can resto ♫
♫ While I digesto ♫
♫ Pesto ♫