(intrepid orchestral music)
- [Barry] The Alps.
The most extensive mountain range
in Central Southern Europe, spanning seven countries
and home to Mont Blanc, Europe's tallest mountain
at 4,680 metres.
It can be a dangerous place
with unpredictable weather, avalanches,
and 150-foot-deep glacial crevasses.
Ben is seriously anxious and really worried about this.
The perfect place, then, to set up
a three-course dining experience, complete with champagne.
What could possibly go wrong?
(intrepid orchestral music peaks and fades)
(snow sliding and rustling)
(upbeat piano music)
- Before we could head up into the mountains,
it was time to plan a route and decide
on the fine dining three-course menu.
And for that, this time we had two chefs.
(upbeat piano music)
- Talking to some of the guides around here,
we're looking for glacier...
d'Argentiere?
So...
- d'Argentiere.
- Thank you Ben.
Which I think, this massive thing here.
- [Ben] How do we get to it?
- So, there's gonna be some skiing involved.
There's a bit of downhill.
Quite a lot of uphill.
- I'm excited for it.
- I'm genuine, I've never done anything-
- It's an adventure.
- [Barry] Do you have any idea what you're cooking?
- It's gotta be French.
Some French dishes, French inspiration.
It's gotta fit in a rucksack.
- And it's gotta look good.
It's fine dining.
- And it has to stay in one piece
by the time we get to the glacier.
- We'll start the food.
- Mm hmm.
- I will-
- Figure out this.
- And I'll get outta your way.
- [James] Should we do some cooking?
(energetic string music)
- [Ben] Before it was time to get some sleep
ahead of an early start,
James and I started to prep the food
and package it up in a way that was not only
small enough to put in a backpack,
but would also survive the odd fall or two.
So we're thinking, obviously we're in France,
classic French dishes that we can get most of the way there.
Get all the mise en place done,
stick in a rucksack, and climb a mountain.
(energetic string music)
(knife thudding)
(liquid simmering)
(pepper grinder cranking)
(scissors clatter)
We're gonna heavily season up and add loads of fresh herbs
to a pork rillette and then serve that
with plum jam and celeriac remoulade.
And maybe some crouts.
(energetic string music)
Pretty classic French mayo.
So egg yolk, mustard, salt, pepper,
oil drizzled in and then finished with lemon.
I'm gonna put that through the celeriac remoulade
with some parsley.
Less classic French onion soup.
I've cheated it, because we're going with white wine,
stock, and miso, and that'll give you the umami
of hours of cooking in about half an hour instead.
(energetic string music)
- This is just a ganache.
It's double cream, boiled, poured over chopped chocolate.
Mix, mix, mix. Done.
(energetic string music builds)
(mid-tempo guitar music)
- [Barry] Before we go anywhere, it was time to get kitted up,
to get us up and down the mountain.
♪ Rhinestones on her hemline ♪
♪ Lipstick on her cocktail ♪
(vocalist scatting over guitar music)
- I'm comfortable with normal skiing.
This is ski touring, so on the boots,
you got this thing, there,
which makes this boot bend more
so you can like, ski and walk.
I'm better at skiing than I am walking.
- [Ben] So these skis will allow us to walk
to get us to our final fine dining destination.
But first, we needed to get to the top of the mountain.
(upbeat synth music)
We were excited, getting quite hungry
and feeling confident.
That was, until we started to put the skis on our feet.
(slow horn music)
- I'm sure they have nursery slopes
you could test this (beep), this stuff on.
- We couldn't get any flatter here.
You should be fine.
- [Ben] Right.
(item clicks)
I stabbed myself already.
All right, get. Right, come on.
What was that from?
(Ben groans with frustration)
- [James] Boys, are we going now?
- Are you in, Ebbers?
- No.
Yes. One in.
- [James] You're in it in the back and not the front.
- Oh, now. (laughing)
Now how d'you get out?
- All right, I'm really bleeding.
- How d'you get out? (laughs)
You are loving this. (Barry grunts)
- All right, now you know how we feel
with the kitchen, Ebbers.
This is what we do everyday I try and (beep) julienne.
- I've only just put the skis on, I'm sweating.
(Barry laughs)
Let me just put my lunch on me back.
This is the first time we've done skis
in a long time and I was never very good at it then.
(laughs)
- Ben is seriously anxious and really worried about this.
He really couldn't care about the fact
that we're trying to film this.
He just wants to get some snow under his feet
and feel more confident.
(dramatic music)
- [Barry] We good.
One, two, three.
- [Ben] Let James go first, and then...
-[Barry]. You're good, you're good, you're good.
Nailed it. Now stop.
I think we are as high as we can go now.
- [James] That's right.
- [Barry] So. (laughing)
- I like the fact you've just given me all the food,
'cause you know that I'm gonna fall over the most.
- [Barry] Around the corner, Ben, we're gonna be doing
some walking, but there is a little bit of a black.
- [Ben] That's what worries me.
- Are you ready for this?
- No! (laughs)
- We'll be okay.
Okay, just stick together and trust in one another.
- Oui, Chef.
- For once, he is the chef.
- He is the chef today.
- What could possibly go wrong?
(mysterious synth music)
Having arrived at the bottom of the climb on his own,
James decided he was in a rush.
But then he found out what was unfolding
a few hundred metres up the mountain.
- So, we've been a little unfair
and thrown Ebbers in at the deep end.
We've had to come quite far down a red slope
to get to the start of the skinning.
- [Barry] Up! Out your skis, jump out your skis!
Tiptoes! Tiptoes over.
- Luckily, Barry is a ski instructor,
so he's getting Ebbers down and it's a learning experience.
- [Barry] Get in!
(snow crackling)
Stand up, open the curtains.
Good job!
(relaxed guitar music)
- As time started to pass, James's fair skin
began to feel the effects of the intense mountain sun.
- Can't wait for lunch.
If it makes it down the slopes, can't wait for lunch.
It's on Ebbers' back.
(relaxed guitar music)
- Yeah, that was the easy bit.
Now we've gotta do the thing we've never done before.
Mind you, I've never done a red before.
So that was my first.
(skis clacking)
It's beautiful up here.
It's a shame I'm thinking too much about the skis
and not enough about the mountains.
Seamless. I'm sure that's how all the pros do it.
- 45 minutes to get down half a run.
- I mean, we started. (panting)
I said green or, I said green or, oh God.
- Now we're finally at the starting point.
We need to put some skins on the skis, dress down.
Get up there, and fine dine.
(slow-tempo rock music)
The challenge hasn't even started yet.
This is just to get to the beginning.
♪ 12 rounds ♪
♪ Ding ding ♪
♪ Sick and tired of the whole damn thing, yeah ♪
♪ Stick a move in the ring ♪
♪ You can't hit me with the words you fling now ♪
♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪
♪ You're never gonna keep me down, no, no, no ♪
♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪
♪ You're never gonna keep me down, no, no, no ♪
♪ You'll be lucky if I stick around ♪
♪ May be foolish but I ain't a clown, no, no, no ♪
♪ You're never gonna keep me down ♪
♪ No, no, no, no ♪
- [James] This is really hard work.
- [Ben] Uses different muscles, doesn't it?
(energetic synth music)
- That is stunning!
(dramatic orchestral music)
- We turned the corner and just saw
this incredible site glacier, at the bottom of a glacier.
Sounds, feels like it's a good place
to have a fine dining meal.
- So worth it just to get here.
The fact that now we're gonna be fine dining
is just out of this world.
(glasses clink) Touch. A touch.
(uplifting music)
Serve me chefs!
- Oh boys! The soup's survived as well.
- Oh!
(Ben and James exclaiming)
Not even Ebbers' skiing could break them!
(Ben and Barry laughing)
- Excellent, boys, excellent.
Before we could sit down and enjoy our three-course meal,
we had to dress for the occasion.
- Well it wouldn't be fun, darling, with that,
would it really?
- [Ben] Stick to the brief.
(suave jazz music)
James, you could have bought an iron.
- [Barry] Spectacular. (laughs)
- We've done some ridiculous things in our time.
- This is great.
This is the best.
- This is up there.
- Nope, it's the best.
- I love it.
- We've peaked.
(Barry laughing)
- Trouble is.
Oh, we joke that we should
ski down like this as well.
But to ski down like this makes it look like
you know what you're doing and I definitely don't.
(suave jazz music)
- [Barry] Ah!
Ah, boys.
- Well, here we are.
- I mean.
(Barry laughing)
- We came all that way to get this shot.
We got it now.
- I feel like we didn't think this through.
- Look around.
Is this not the most ridiculous thing you've done
in 30-odd years?
Let's get the soup on.
- Okay.
(Barry laughing)
- [James] What's wrong with you?
(suave jazz music)
- [Barry] That's it, that's it. Lovely!
- [Ben Should we ignite?
(gas flowing)
- [Barry] Oh, we're on gas.
- I'm also wearing nylon trousers.
Lots of liquid, lots of onion, butter,
and most importantly, bay leaf.
Right. See if you heat that up.
(upbeat music)
- [James] Oh, Ebbers.
- Today I learned that when you're here,
"Chef" just means "Boss."
And I feel like you've been a much more of a chef
than I could ever dream of.
- I want "Yes Chef," "Oui, Chef."
- Champagne, Chef.
(Barry laughs) Oh, don't let this boil over.
We're gonna start with our French onion soup.
And we've got some comté crouts.
The second course, a pork rillette
with white wine and plum jam
and celeriac remoulade.
- That sounds good. - A homemade mayo.
And we're gonna end, James, with your dessert, which is...
- A ganache.
Um. (Barry laughs)
- Some of your biscuits-
- You're really worried about your ganache.
- On some of my biscuit, with a pistachio crunch.
- Fabulous.
- All right.
(upbeat music)
(jaunty jazz music)
- This is pork.
Lots of pork flats and mushrooms and blueberries.
Parsley and lemon. Heavily seasoned.
Yeah, that's fine.
(Barry snorting with laughter)
- [James] Wait, just wait.
- Just take a dump on the plate.
(James and Barry laughing)
So, you left us to go get some more experience
in the foodie world.
How's that working out for you?
- You're a dick.
(Barry laughing)
I'm back polishing Ebber's turds.
(all laugh)
(jaunty jazz music)
- Now we're talking!
- Right, my soup's nearly ready.
Bubbling away.
- That style of dessert, it looks a little bit
too similar to our main, but...
- I call that a chocolate-
- A chocolate glacier.
- Chocolate glacier.
- Soup's ready, too.
- Boys. (applauds)
We did it!
- Three courses with champagne, up a mountain.
(upbeat music)
I'm going straight for the crout.
- That's so soggy.
- Yeah, it gets a soggy bottom,
but it's got a nice golden cheesy top.
(Barry laughs)
- It's not the first thing to have
a soggy bottom today, is it, really.
(Ben laughs)
- [Barry] Mm.
For dirty brown water, that is outstanding-
- Oi! - Delicious.
- The miso in it is so good.
Miso, white wine, red onion, butter.
- Yeah, you should be proud of that.
- Okay, here we are.
Slaw.
Jam.
(Ben snorts)
Meat.
- [James] That chuck meat is excellent.
- [Ben] It's quite nice with the-
- [James] Works so well.
- 'Cause I was worried it was gonna be
a little bit too fruity.
But actually, with all the pork...
- You've got your meaty.
You've got your fatty, with the mayo,
and you've got your fruit and acid.
(Barry laughs)
- [Barry] Boys. Boys. - Homemade mayo.
- Oh, there's basically lots of French things on a plate.
I love it.
- Now, it's going so well.
Let's have those nice creamy ganache.
(Ben laughs)
- No, no. Chocolate snow. (laughs)
- [Ben] Oh, you missed.
- [Barry] It crumbled on me.
- It's almost got Black Forest vibes in it.
It's not cherry, it's plum.
But it's either chocolate and plum.
And that is some of the shortest pastry I've ever
had the pleasure of crumbling in my mouth.
♪ And then the holy ♪
♪ Royals and beggars ♪
♪ Young and the aged ♪
- Chefs.
It took a lot of effort to get here.
(Barry and James laugh)
- More for some of us.
- That just made it worth it.
- It's stunning.
- But that's spectacular.
Nailed it, guys.
- Boys, we did it.
- [Barry] Cheers?
- [Ben] Cheers.
♪ Jump on with us ♪
♪ Whoa oh ♪
♪ Whoop, whoop, hallelujah ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Come ride with us ♪
- All right, make sure you enjoy this 'cause,
Ebbers, you gotta ski down in a bit.
(all laugh) - That's what worries me.