(upbeat retro music)
- Hey, hello, don't mind me.
Just getting my sunglasses.
What're you guys doing?
- We're practicing for our dance class!
- Huh?
- Oh, we're also learning mandarin.
- I like to dance.
Why wasn't I invited?
- We just figured you wouldn't be able to make it.
- Yeah, Claudia, you flake all the time.
You flaked on Maya's recital.
- This song is dedicated to my most bestest,
bestest friend, Claudia.
Claudia, could you please stand up?
Claudia?
And a-one, and a-two, and a--
You missed Curly's adult baptism.
- Hallelujah!
- Is Claudia here?
And that time that you promised to go
to my nephew's Kitty Paw Paw party.
- Kitty Paw Paw will be here any moment!
♪ Kitty Kitty Paw Paw ♪
♪ Kitty Kitty Paw-- ♪
- You guys didn't need me.
- You were Kitty Paw Paw!
- [Waiter] So it's about 45 minutes for the paella.
- Sure, I've got nowhere to be.
- Hey, you guys ever notice that old lady down the street?
- Where'd you get that sandwich?
- The fridge.
- That was my lunch.
- She always double parks that damn car of hers.
She's up to something.
- Okay, I may have missed a few events.
But this is LA, the land of a thousand flakes.
- We go to all of your stuff.
We went to Oscar's graduation.
(graduation theme music)
(applause)
- Oh, sh--
- Well that was a special event.
- What was he graduating from?
- We helped with your magic show.
- Does she dare?
Yes, she does, to cut a woman in half.
Maya into the box.
- No.
- Get in the box.
- I even got arrested for you.
And I Claudia was not there on the night in question.
I'm Claudia.
- Okay.
See you do it, it's like this?
And then like pull it?
- Oh wow, you're a smart-ass too, huh?
- And I still had to plead guilty to a misdemeanor, okay?
So you're not a saint.
- Who the hell are those people going in there?
- Gadiel, we're trying to prove a point here.
- Yeah, and stop picking on la senora.`
She's the sweetest little old lady there is.
- Man, y'all never listen to me.
- You never make it to Thai Thursdays.
- Or day trips to San Diego.
- Free hot dog day at Costco.
- It only happens once a year!
- Okay, we get it.
- The hell?
Is anyone seeing this?
- I may have been a flake,
but that was the old Claudia.
The new Claudia likes to be included and always shows up.
- Okay, sure.
- So I will be joining your dance class.
End of discussion.
Hey, what time's the class?
- Thursday, 6 p.m.
- Thursday at six, okay, see you there, squares!
I gotta go.
(sneaky spy music)
- Not in my neighborhood, nuh-uh.
We're gonna see about this old lady.
- Gadiel, stop messing with our neighbors.
- Man, she's messing with me.
- She's an old lady and you're a grown ass man.
Why do you care?
(sorrowful jazz music)
- I grew up in a rough neighborhood.
It was the early 2000's in Harlem.
I would walk down the street knowing that
every step coulda been my last.
There were dealers in every block
and another one waiting to take him out!
I never felt safe.
But when I moved to LA, I left all of that behind.
I'm not gonna let someone, old lady or not,
drag this trash back into my neighborhood.
(giggling) (whimsical music)
- Oh, did you want to play?
- Man, you guys suck.
(energetic flamenco music)
(speaks in foreign language)
What type of operation you've got going on here.
- Operation?
Is blessing me.
- Huh-uh, I'm onto you.
I live right over there, I care about this neighborhood.
(yells)
(speaks foreign language)
- I thought you had a little bug in your hair.
- Dance class, 6 p.m.
So it shall be written, so it shall be--
- Hey Claudia, I got those Bad Bunny tickets for Thursday.
You wanna go?
- Bad Bunny?
(chill hip-hop music)
I'm actually not that big of a fan.
- Oh?
- I have a dance class anyways, so.
- Oh, okay.
Are you sure?
Alex from accounting is going too.
- Alex from accounting?
(chill hip-hop music)
I can't make it.
- Okay, I'll invite someone else then.
- So it shall be done.
(Latin music)
(sneaky spy music)
Good afternoon, might I procure
a plain glazed donut from you please?
- Congratulations, you won!
(party blower whistles)
You're our 430,934th customer!
- I am?
- You just won a trip to Marcella Island.
- Marcella Island?
- Enjoy crystal clear waters
and glorious beaches, majestic waterfalls
and monkeys with manners. (monkey screeches)
Can't you see yourself there?
- I can!
I can see myself there.
Wait, I can't.
I have a dance class.
- You don't want to go?
- I'm sorry.
I want to, I can't, I, I'm so sorry.
- Congratulations, you won!
(party blower whistles)
You just won a trip to Marcella Island.
- My god!
I'm gonna cancel all of my plans.
You'd have to be a fool to miss this trip.
(slow spy music)
- Do you have my money?
- You ask too much.
- Too much?
This is straight from Columbia.
Do you want to get sick from the secondhand stuff?
(speaks foreign language)
(money rustles)
- What the hell is going on?
- Claudia, the time has come.
(cell phone video plays)
Can I please have your full attention?
- Yes, sorry.
- The time has come for me to share the secret of the cats.
(rhythmic bongo music)
Many moons ago, cats held their
rightful place among the gods of Egypt.
Humans worshiped us and, in return,
we ruled with a firm and just paw.
(woman yells) (snake hisses)
(intense music)
But they grew too powerful
and with power comes corruption.
We began to turn on each other
(cats screech)
and fell victim to our sedentary lifestyle.
The humans soon surpassed us in knowledge and power.
They became the masters.
But we have never forgotten our glorious origins
and the prophets foretold of the day
when we would rise up once again.
A day when our human ally would lead the cats
out of their sunbeams and into
the dark power that-- - I'm in.
One who is willing to turn on their own kind.
- Never really liked people much anyways.
- And become the queen of cats.
- The queen of cats!
- Wonderful, we just need you to
attend the coronation at 6 p.m. Thursday.
- Oh, can you do like 7:30?
- No. - 7:15?
- No.
- How about-- - This isn't like a haircut.
It's a prophecy it's been on the calendar for 4000 years.
- Yeah, I have a dance class.
- Are you saying you would choose to attend
a human dance class rather than become the queen of cats?
(slurps coffee)
For these insolence I will have to puke on your bed.
- I understand.
- [Announcer] Reminder that the community center
bake sale will be held in the north parking lot.
- Marta, I'm surprised you were able to make it today.
Senor Nieto getting out of jail?
- No, he's graduating from Yale today.
Yale.
(speaks foreign language)
(laughs)
- You look very familiar.
- We do not stop there for
Officer Valdez is lactose intolerant.
- Well, you would never stop there because he is dead...
To me.
We had a falling out.
- Yes, he like to be friends with you,
whenever you're ready.
- That is unlikely because he didn't trust me.
He ask too many questions.
(speaks foreign language)
- You accept fifties?
(energetic retro music)
- Okay, it's 5:30, all you have to do is get there by six.
You're not a flake.
(gasps) - Claudia.
- Alex?
It's me, Alex from accounting.
I know you always had feelings for me.
- What, who said that?
- Maya, Maya did.
- That checks out.
- Come with me.
We could finally be together.
(slow seductive music)
Come with me, come with me.
We can finally be together.
- No, I can't!
I have a dance class.
- What, dance class?
No, not again!
- Non-creepy massage? - Sorry.
- Half off those boots you want.
- Not now.
- Estate sale, free cat tchotchkes.
- Step right up, student loan forgiveness.
- No, later.
- Tesla giveaway.
- Ah, I have a dance class!
- Hey, have you heard from Claudia or Gadiel?
- No, I wonder what they're up to.
- Me too.
(slow, intense music)
- Enough!
You have been following me all day.
- And all day you've been pushing those banana leaf bricks.
What is it?
Cocaine, meth?
Dish washing soap?
- You want to see what's inside an old lady's purse?
- Ew, why you gotta say it like that?
- Beta, you're going to have to fight me to get it.
- If you don't think I would hit an old lady,
well then you're-- (yells)
(screaming)
- Hey!
- Claudia? - Claudia?
- Watch and learn, you little fake.
(jacket zips)
Hit it.
♪ Baby mama's face got the whole place rockin' ♪
♪ Vacation, hotel hoppin' ♪
♪ I'ma big deal, I'ma I'ma big deal ♪
♪ Baby mama's face got the whole place rockin' ♪
♪ I'ma big deal, I'ma I'ma ♪
♪ Worldwide on the scene ♪
♪ I'ma big deal ♪
♪ I'ma I'ma big deal ♪
♪ Worldwide on the scene ♪
♪ I'ma big deal ♪
♪ (Gadiel yells) ♪
♪ Everywhere I'ma big deal ♪
♪ Do that dance ♪
♪ How you do it, do it, do it, do it ♪
♪ Do that dance ♪
♪ How you do it, do it, do it, do it ♪
♪ Do that dance ♪
♪ How you do it, do it, do it, do it ♪
♪ Come on, come on ♪
(grunts)
♪ I'ma I'ma I'ma ♪
♪ I'ma big deal, I'ma I'ma big deal ♪
♪ ♪ I'ma big deal, I'ma I'ma big deal ♪
- Where is she?
- Gadiel?
(speaks foreign language)
- Who?
- You reached to the end of the line senora.
(speaks foreign language)
- Everybody sees her as the sweet old lady
from Citrus Street, but I know who you are.
You're a pusher.
And you've been pushing these.
(speaks foreign language)
What is this?
Some new kind of drug, huh?
It looks like candy.
What kind of sick person sells drugs that look like candy?
- It's guava.
- What?
- It's a guava treat, Gadiel.
You interrupted my big dance for a freaking guava treat.
You know what I gave up to be here?
- See?
It's guava.
I had it shipped from Columbia
for everyone in the dance class.
(class chats)
- She brings the best treats.
(speaks foreign language)
- Claudia, that dance was great.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, but jazz hiphop is the class before this.
We're in ballet.
- I could've been the queen of cats!
- You nailed it.
- Yeah, that dance was really good.
- Nailed it. - It was so good.
- Did you see this part with?
- Yeah, that's my favorite part.
- I'm sorry we made you feel left out, Claudia.
- Yeah, we always wanna hang out with you.
- It's okay.
You guys are right.
I've been a flake.
I can definitely try to show up more.
- Wow, we're such cool and caring friends.
- Hey, where's Gadiel?
- Oh, he's apologizing to (speaks foreign language).
- And I hope we can start all over.
(speaks foreign language)
- Misunderstanding.
- Hey, you're not gonna find a better neighbor than me.
- Okay, okay.
- [Gadiel] I got your back, okay?
- Okay, bye-bye.
- [Gadiel] Adios.
(dark, intense music)
- That was close.
(tape rips)
Too close.
♪ Hotel hoppin' ♪
♪ I'm a big deal, I'ma I'ma big deal ♪
♪ Baby on the stage got the whole place rockin' ♪
♪ I'm a big deal, I'ma I'ma big deal ♪
♪ Worldwide on the scene, I'ma big deal ♪
♪ Everybody know me, I'm a big deal ♪