♪♪
-Hey, everybody.
Welcome to another episode of "Summer Corrections."
Or, as we've taken to calling it, "Summerections."
[ Laughter ]
'Cause we love -- we love --
As we've established, we love a portmanteau here.
[ Laughter ]
I will say...
I do find...
"Corrections" a little bit easier
the rest of the year,
for whatever it's worth.
I don't know the difference, but...
Summerections are hard.
[ Laughter ]
So, I did -- since we missed "Corrections" last week,
I missed Wednesday, Thursday of last week
and Monday, Tuesday this week
because I tested positive for COVID
last Wednesday morning.
And then, but I wanted to come back.
I wanted to do the two shows this week.
I'm very happy that we did.
I wanted to make sure that it was safe before I came back.
So I went to the CDC website,
and I don't know if you've gone and checked it recently,
but it just said, "Ehh, do whatever you want."
[ Laughter ]
"You're not gonna listen. Just do whatever you want.
You don't have an aunt who's been googling
you can check with?"
Oh, this is interesting.
We talked about Mac Tonight.
We've been talking a little bit about Mac Tonight.
This was a commercial spokesperson
that was launched in 1987
because McDonald's wanted kids to have more nightmares.
[ Laughter ]
And I guess the idea was that it was this...
you know, the kids would just be terrified.
He had a piano.
The keys were made from the bones of his victims.
And it would just, kids would be terrified
and then they would wake up and they'd be super upset
if they had seen Mac Tonight and then the only way to get
them to calm down was to go to McDonald's.
Anyway, this is fascinating. This is not a correction.
This is just, again, because I think at the end
we're trying to learn with "Corrections," right?
I mean, that's what we've said.
Mac Tonight wasn't just like a guy with a moon head on.
He was a fantastic actor named Doug Jones.
Doug Jones was in "Shape of Water."
This is the same actor.
He was in "Pan's Labyrinth." He played the faun.
And so, he's this wonderful actor, and this --
he got his start as Mac Tonight, which is really cool.
So, and this is the really amazing thing, right?
So, first he was Mac Tonight.
Then he was in "Shape of Water."
In "The Shape of Water,"
the character in "Shape of Water" --
I don't know if you remember this -- but ended up
as that.
[ Laughter ]
Full circle.
This one I feel terrible about.
We said that Rudy Giuliani played "Wonderful Tonight"
at his first wedding when he married his second cousin.
That song came out in 1977.
The wedding was 1968.
So, apologies to Rudy,
as well as to the daughter of his first cousin.
[ Laughter ]
And I didn't know how long ago that was
when Rudy married his cousin,
because 1968 was a different time.
Still weird to marry your cousin.
I meant to say that an image was Photoshop friendly,
but I said it was friendly Photoshop.
Me just ad-libbing, and sometimes I say things wrong.
Also, that's just an age thing.
'Cause when we grew up,
Shoemaker and I, when we grew up, like,
Photoshop wasn't a thing you would do on your computer.
You would go to your friendly neighborhood Photoshop.
[ Laughter ]
And do it all by hand.
You wouldn't just, like, e-mail Tara and say,
"Do this, make this image."
You would have to, like, go down to the shop.
Carson, Johnny Carson, would do it all the time.
He'd have to go to Burbank.
[ Laughter ]
"Can you, uh,
put Richard Nixon in a prison uniform for me?"
And they'd be like, "When do you need it by, Mr. Carson?"
He's like, "I'd love it for tonight's show."
"It's gonna be -- it'll be weeks.
It's gonna take weeks."
One of you said...
Did a joke about Donald Trump getting an ice cream headache
from a Frosty at Wendy's.
And you said you can't get
an ice cream headache from a Frosty.
You can only get an ice cream headache from an ice cream.
So, if you're drinking a Frosty and you say to a friend,
"I have an ice cream headache,"
and that friend is a jackal,
they'll say to you, "What'd ya get it from?"
[ Laughter ]
Oh, we were talking about "Avatar."
It took six years in the film,
almost six years to get to Pandora from Earth.
So, that means you could go to Pandora and back
before "Avatar Two" came out.
[ Laughter ]
I do like to point out when a jackal
writes something that makes me smile.
And you said, in James Cameron's defense,
the reason "Avatar Two" is taking so long
is they're filming it on location.
[ Laughter ]
I made a joke in the last "Corrections"
where the punchline was Kelly Rowland.
A lot of you didn't get it.
I think just go back and watch it again.
[ Laughter ]
I could explain it, but I just feel like
it wouldn't be as satisfying.
Hey, this isn't gonna be --
I should note, this is not gonna be
a particularly long "Corrections" tonight.
But I do want to address...
the Emmys.
The Emmys are coming up, and "Corrections,"
as we know by now, is Emmy-nominated.
But I was thinking about Emmy categories that I wish --
when I had COVID I watched a lot of TV --
Emmy categories that I wish existed.
And here is an Emmy category I wish existed.
It's the best line reading on television this year.
It's the best pronunciation.
Let me specify the best pronunciation of a word
that I had never heard pronounced that way
on TV this year.
And the nominees are both from "White Lotus."
The first nominee is Molly Shannon
for the way she says "palm fronds" in "White Lotus."
Take a look.
-[ Sighs ] And all the palm fronds.
-Very good.
But what about how Jennifer Coolidge
says "chaise lounge" in "White Lotus?"
Let's take a look.
-That chaise is taken.
[ Laughter ]
-Impossible to choose.
In our category, "Corrections'" category...
I promised I wouldn't politic too much, but...
It's us, "Tooning Out the News," Stephen Colbert,
"Carpool Karaoke,"
"Randy Rainbow,"
and "I think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson."
And, pains me to say it...
If you're wondering who I think the winner is...
to quote the great Bob Dylan,
"It's not me, lady."
It's Tim Robinson.
"I Think You Should Leave" is...
"Coffin Flop" alone.
It deserves the Emmy.
And if you haven't seen "Coffin Flop,"
go on Netflix and watch "Coffin Flop."
And, look, I aspire for excellence
and I would -- I would love to win an Emmy.
But sometimes you have to say, you know...
tied for second.
Hey, we're gonna be off for all of August.
This is not our fault.
It's the fault of, really, the summer TV viewer,
who doesn't enjoy watching television in the summer.
And NBC executives took us aside and said,
"You know what people want in the summer?
It's, like, more like 'FBOY Island'
and less like your show."
And -- And we said, "What if we made our show
a little bit more like 'FBOY Island'?"
And they said, "Well, what's the closest thing
you have to an F-boy?"
And we said, "Scollins?"
And they said, "Take off August."
[ Laughter ]
There's a conclusion of sorts to the mug saga, you guys.
You know, we...
When we first came up with this idea,
the question was, how hard is it to make a mug?
And the answer is, "Remarkably."
[ Laughter ]
But after a lot of work, this is -- you guys,
this is now available in the NBC Store.
It's the Late night with Corrections Jackals mug.
And there's a jackal over here.
But there was a bit of drama, you guys, with the mug.
So, here's what happened.
We were gonna announce the mug two "Corrections" ago
and then, last minute, I mentioned this on
on that "Corrections." Actually,
it was one "Corrections," but two weeks ago.
It was like, "Whoa, it's not in the store yet.
Don't announce it." So I didn't announce it.
The last thing we want to do is for you guys to,
you know, clog up the internet trying to buy these
and they're not available yet.
So we didn't announce it. Then, obviously, I have COVID.
In that time, though, a really weird thing happened.
They started selling a different "Corrections" mug
at the NBC Store.
It looked like this.
There were actually two of them, and that was at the NBC Store.
And so we were shocked because we've had
a lot of conversations about the mug
and all of a sudden a mug that I've never seen before
was in the NBC Store.
And our producer, Eric Leiderman,
he wrote me an e-mail about what had happened,
and I was gonna read it to you.
But I'm not going to, because here's the thing.
I'm not saying it's long...
[ Laughter ]
...but if I read you the full e-mail,
we would all miss the premiere
of "Avatar Three."
[ Laughter ]
The thing is, I feel terrible, but if you bought this mug,
this is not an official "Corrections" mug.
You have -- I mean, you have a mug, and it's --
look, it says "Corrections Jackal"
and I hope you enjoy it, but it's a little bit
like, you know, you think you bought a Chanel bag
and you get home and your friend's like,
"That says Channel."
[ Laughter ]
Also, you know...
I was looking on Etsy.
Some people on Etsy
have just been making their own "Corrections" mugs.
That one's nice.
That one's nice. Got an Egyptian theme to it.
This one's nice.
So, I think the important thing to note
is this is...
this is our segment that we do every week,
and when it came to making the mugs,
we finished last.
[ Laughter ]
[ Clears throat ]
But, you know, I think in the end, any --
I think any mug you want to buy for yourself
that you think best represents the kind of jackal you are,
I think go for it, because if we've learned
anything from this journey of "Corrections,"
there are no right answers.
But it's here.
So, the audio came out here
because I as singing a song called "Summer Muggin'"
to the tune of "Summer Lovin',"
and they filed a copyright claim because my --
they were worried my song was better
and would become canon.
That's great, though.
We got our own mug.
Come on, back me up, guys.
This is really nice.
This is really nice. I will say...
being right-handed, I kind of prefer this side,
you know, and I was like, as a righty,
the side I like less is facing out.
So I said, "How hard would it be...?"
28 months.
[ Laughter ]
So, I...
You know, I don't want you to think --
'cause sometimes you all say, "Hey..."
"Enjoying your summer vacation?"
No.
I like it here.
I like doing this. I don't like being at the beach.
I'm not being lazy. Okay?
But the important thing is we were together today,
we'll be together again in September.
Vote "I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson."
Get whatever [bleep] mug you want.
[ Laughter ]
You know what really bums me out about these Etsy people...
...is their tiny little pine cones.
[ Laughter ]
Like a couple of jackal's nuts. [ Laughs ]
They're -- They're just so...
They're just so ahead of us.
And we're a major corporation.
It took us like a year to make a mug.
Like this -- I want this mug 'cause I know, thanks to that,
I know exactly how big it is.
[ Laughter ]
You guys, have a wonderful summer.
We love you very much. See me in September.