Hello.
Hi
It's Iggy.
So, um...
I have a plan and...
I do not know how to say this...
okay um...
Hello.
Hi.
Its Iggy
So,
I found a way to get out of here.
I think.
I just have to get shot.
And I know the guy that'll do it.
But what if he's wrong and it's not gonna work?
Then, I'll be like
dead, dead.
Maybe I'm just doing this to get back at Gent?
No.
I am doing this because I want to get the hell out of here
I want to see my Dad again
And I want to become the good person that I was always meant to be.
And you know if I just do one last jerky thing to Gent on the way out, then that's just the silver lining, right?
(deep sigh)
'HAUNTERS' Theme Jingle
(door opens)
Oh.
Hello
I thought you'd never ever talk to me again.
Like,
ever.
Well, you lied to me.
You knew what I wanted, and you tried to make sure it never happened.
Like,
ever.
I have been here for 193 years, Iggigg.
And yes, I know how many days, minutes, seconds...
27...
28...
29...
I count to keep sane!
You know what?
Maybe you're right?
Maybe the world is full of jerks? I mean, this way certainly is.
Maybe these people do deserve to die.
That's what I've been saying.
And if there's no way back to the land of the living,
Screw it!
Bring on the silence.
Wait! So, so you'll help me get out of here?
mmm
Really?
Yes?
Oh,
Thank you!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Gent: IT'S EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED Iggy: Yeah...
Gent: YES, IT'S AMAZING! Iggy: I'm gonna...
I can't believe you're willing to do this for me.
After I...
did all that to you.
Good.
Because, I already have our jerk picked out.
Do you still hate me?
Ah...
Hate you? NOO!! No, now I...
I... I... I
You...
Like me?
Gent: (nervous pterodactyl grunts) Iggy: Like me?
(Gent, you okay there buddy?)
(nervous gtfo the door noises)
(door slam)
(slow bittersweet piano)
I can't like someone.
I'm too much of a jerk.
Me liking a person?
How would that work?
It goes against my nature
And what I have wrought.
Watching someone cry,
that's what I like.
I thought...
Getting close to somebody.
Not alone anymore
That would change me forever. Rattle me to my core.
To see the light in their eyes
Their heart in my hands.
Like, I like this young woman....
She can't like this old, man.
But on the other hand, if I feel something
Chorus: Feel something.
This girl, Iggy...
could change everything.
She's a lot of things. Why not add a few more?
Like a bright young student for a fading mentor.
If I told her "I like you," maybe she'd agree.
She reminds me of someone.
Who is it?
Me!
Every traitor has their execution
Chorus: execution
Every warrior, a fiery cremation
Chorus: Cremation
Everyone achieves their own annihilation. Chorus: Annihilation
Then, why should I be denied my final destination? Chorus: destination
My life had lead up to a moment.
I could feel Death's icy grip I'd never grasped.
But I was robbed. A chance was stolen.
By the girl I like
But not like that
(reflective piano)
Only a jerk
would deny this feeling
to hook a girl in
and leave her reeling
But that's why I'm a jerk.
I like watching hearts bleed
And now she will see
just what a jerk
I
can
be!