Pastor Steven: Write in the comments. I'm not stuck. And just put that in the comment,
even though you're like, I am stuck. I'm literally stuck. I'm totally stuck. I'm really,
really stuck. Okay. That is a challenging paradigm for people because if you look in the Bible,
Paul and Silas seemed stuck in prison, but they praised God and the chains broke loose.
Pastor Steven: Mm. You know, Gideon seemed stuck in a wine press, but God spoke and he became a
deliverer. Moses seems stuck as a murderer, running as a fugitive on the backside of the
desert, and then this burning bush. And God had 40 more years of amazing things for him to do,
and all of these people felt stuck. So I want you to tell me, what were your
reflections on this first mindset? Pastor Steven: I'm not stuck unless
I stop. Do you agree with it? How do you see it? How do we summon our way through
that? And let's really dig into this first Brendon Burchard: mindset. I love it. I, I love
every section of this chapter because it reminds you that everyone feels stuck. I think one of the
things you did great in the book is that people see themselves in it constantly and go, I, I do
feel stuck sometimes in my relationships. Brendon Burchard: I feel stuck in my head.
I feel stuck in my career. What am I gonna, what am I gonna do? And a lot of people, they
feel like that stuck is permanent. Mm-Hmm. Like, Hey, I'm working hard, but I'm stuck. So there's
not lack of action for them. They're like, I'm going to work, but I feel. Stuck. Uh, you know,
I'm working hard, but I'm not earning more. Brendon Burchard: I feel stuck. And what
ends up happening is the more you feel stuck,
the more you spin in doubt. Wow. And Pastor Steven: so when you're stuck, you spin,
write that down. Yeah. When you're stuck, Brendon Burchard: you spin. Yeah. And people
always mistake the signal for doubt as a signal to stop. Tell me more. But
doubt is not a doubt is not saying stop. Brendon Burchard: Doubt is a signal to
learn. And when you change that frame in your mind, everything changes in your life. I'm,
I'm so doubtful. Doubt doesn't say, well, stop and don't learn anymore. Doubt is literally,
I don't know. So the only way to actually figure it out is get in motion, try test, like
doubt is the entrance to the scientific process. Brendon Burchard: Doubt is the entrance to faith.
Wow. And so when you realize that, like, oh, I'm having all these doubts about this thing. The
next thought should be, well, I'm gonna have to do something to discover the answer. I'm gonna have
to do something to discover the truth. I'm gonna have to do something to test this hypothesis.
Brendon Burchard: Well, Pastor Steven: let's break your flow if I
ask you something about that. No, I love it. Yeah. Go. Every religious person in the world is pulling
up James one right now going, but the Bible says, let he who hath faith ask and not doubt,
for he who asketh in faith shall not receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man.
Pastor Steven: Unstable in all he does. Mm-Hmm. And I always thought that verse meant not,
you know, don't have doubts or don't feel doubts. I thought it just meant go through the door of
your doubt to get to the other side. Yeah. And Brendon Burchard: find your faith. Right,
right. Well, I think a Lot of themes of the Bible are, do not be afraid, or,
as you taught me, be strong and courageous. Brendon Burchard: Uh, that presupposes Yeah.
Some doubt. Right. Most of the Bible presupposes. We have doubts. Yeah.
Pastor Steven: If he says Be strong, I must feel weak because I wouldn't tell you to sit down. You
Brendon Burchard: already are. Yeah. He didn't start the story. We, we,
Gideon doesn't start the story as, you know, a mighty warrior, a champion and a warrior.
Brendon Burchard: Yeah. Yeah. He starts in the wine press a wimp in a wine press. Yeah. Uh,
yeah. David doesn't start the story with the sling. I mean, so you have to go, oh,
each of these stories starts in a place often of doubt. Yeah. Or discouragement, despair,
division between people. We have to cycle through that. But the thing is, I always say,
well, that's why there's another verse. Brendon Burchard: That's why there's another
chapter. It's why there's something more. It's like, it might, the story might begin in doubt,
but the story doesn't stop there. And we have to remember that in our own lives. And so what
I loved about this first chapter where you saying, I'm not stuck unless I stop, is you unlock a
lot of reasons that people should not stop. Brendon Burchard: And realize that they can
change. Uh, I love how you talk about, you know, you can defy your default. Yeah. That maybe your
default was to stop or to do these bad negative behaviors, but you can work your way through them.
You can change, you can shift. And I think that's a hopeful message for a lot of people because
they really do believe that they're stuck. Brendon Burchard: And stuck is a place of
permanence when what your book is teaching 'em stuck was a mindset. Mm-Hmm. And you can
change your mind. So you can change your Pastor Steven: life. Yeah. You know,
when you say stuck, you're probably thinking of all the people that you've coached who basically
thought they had gone as far as they could go. Pastor Steven: Mm-Hmm. You know, whether that's
in their business or whether they had wrecked their personal life,
building their business. And part of what you do is to walk into somebody who goes,
and I've heard you say this phrase before. I love it. You go, I've tried everything. Right,
right. Yeah. And you go. Oh yeah, everything. Pastor Steven: Yeah, I've tried everything. And
then walk through it. Because you have an exercise, you make people do that I
Brendon Burchard: love. Yeah. I'd say, well, I tried everything. I'm awesome. I'm so excited.
And I get really encouraged for them and they, I say, well, if you tried everything,
show me the list. And they go, what do you mean? Brendon Burchard: I say, well, show me the list.
You tried everything. I mean, if you tried everything, then you must have kept a list
really detailed of all the things you tried, because of course you'd have to
know what's mutually exclusive. You'd have to know what you tried and didn't work,
and you'd have to adjust and do it over again. Brendon Burchard: So show me the list. And most
often people will go, well, you know, I tried once or twice and I tried the same. Well, I asked my
boss for a raise on Monday. Asked him on Friday. Asked him the same way every time. All the time.
But I've been asking, so you've been asking, okay, but you haven't been adding new value.
Brendon Burchard: So it's like you tried one strategy and you hit it 50 times and
you didn't adjust it from another way. You haven't tried everything. You tried what you
knew. Mm-Hmm. You need to get perspective or approach it in a different way. And I
think often too, people when they think of stuck, they think of just negative things.
Brendon Burchard: I'm stuck in a bad marriage. A lot of people are, are stuck in a very happy
marriage. And what I mean by that is they don't need to leave the marriage. They have
to learn to be different. Try a new angle to find the happiness, the fulfillment,
or the intimacy in the marriage. So what I mean by that is sometimes people, they're
stuck is really, they're just at a plateau. Brendon Burchard: They're actually successful,
they're actually doing well. Things are good. And a lot of high performances are going, oh,
you're just, you're doing well. You're actually high performing, but there's this next level for
you. And I think that I actually got that out of the book as much as I got out of,
oh, I'm in despair, I'm troubled, things are bad. Brendon Burchard: What I also took from the book
was, I. Things are going well, but there's a new level for me when I'm in a more,
in a greater connection to my faith. Pastor Steven: Yeah.
Brendon Burchard: speaking about plateaus, you have this great statement in the book, don't
Argue for your Limitations. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Because I think a lot of people, they are
stuck, but they're stuck in their own limitation. Pastor Steven: I heard a motivational speaker say
it one time. He said, if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.
Pastor Steven: And that convicted me because I realized how many times I'd
do it. I don't know if I'm arguing with God like Moses did, God, I can't speak, you know,
send somebody else. I don't feel like I'm arguing with God. I feel like I'm just arguing against
myself and I realize what I'm actually Agreeing with in that moment is the enemy's view of me.
Pastor Steven: Yes. And I don't mean limitation. Hey, you've never picked up a basketball, but you
could play in the NBA and you're 54 years old. That's not the kinda limitation I have in mind.
I mean, the kind of limitation that is rooted in a lie where you know God is calling you. To be this
kind of person and to make this kind of impact, or you sense that he's giving you a glimpse and
giving you a step to take, and then you start building the case against yourself and gathering
evidence for why there's a deficiency in you. Pastor Steven: And so the, the quote just blew
my mind. If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. Mm-Hmm. You live small, you stay
in that space. You actually begin to fulfill that prophecy, not the prophecy of God over your life,
but your own prophecy. The you, you start to fulfill the enemy's prophecy over your life that
you'll never be this and your dad wasn't that. Pastor Steven: So what I did, I took that quote,
and in the book, I take it a little further. I say, if you argue for your limitations, you get
to keep them. But if you agree with God about your potential, you get to grow into it. Ooh,
Brendon Burchard: that's good. Grow Pastor Steven: into it. That's good. You know,
that's a whole sermon. Put it into check, grow into it, because growing into it means.
Pastor Steven: No, I'm not it right now. Like any more than I was five-nine when I was five
mm-Hmm. But I get to grow into it, and I think that first step of agreeing with God about your
potential is to go, God, you know what's in me? I don't, and that's why I'm very wary of just
the know thyself philosophy. Right? Mm-Hmm. Pastor Steven: Like, know thyself is great,
but how about part two? Grow thyself? Yes. Yeah. Because that's the, i I, the,
the outgrow of reflection and awareness and self-acceptance is that I'm going to
grow into who God knows me to be. That's the message of the book. I was writing this book
to myself in places going do the new you, the, the you that you don't know yet, but that God
already does the one that he Brendon Burchard: chose.
Brendon Burchard: Yeah. And have faith in yourself [00:56:00] as equally as maybe he has faith in
you. A concept, which is a hard thing, a concept to grow into concept. Well, think about this.
You're growing in the faith of yourself, which Pastor Steven: is very hard for people of
yourself because people will say, don't believe in yourself. Believe in God.
Pastor Steven: Here's the problem I have with that. Who made you? If God made me and I don't
believe in me what he called me to be, then it's him. I doubt, right? And that really helps me to
get past this sticking point where I feel like, well, I just don't wanna hype myself
up and say that, you know, I can do great things. Pastor Steven: Well, I can do all things through
Christ who strengthens me. Yes. So I think the two go hand in hand. That's why I was passionate
to get this masterclass going to get people out of, and to get you out of this mindset that says,
well, God is great, but I'm no good. Okay? Yeah. We're all sinners. We all need Jesus.
Pastor Steven: We all need forgiveness. But we've been redeemed by him. So what does that speak of
us? That he paid that price for us. And that's the limitation that I want you to grow beyond
this view of you that only sees you as flesh and bones and mistakes and disappointments,
and to grow into the image of God that you were originally created to be
Brendon Burchard: So good. Brendon Burchard: I thought
of when I was reading it, the, the angle you took on, don't argue for your limitations,
which was also, you were saying be careful about justifying all your vulnerabilities and
your challenges and what's wrong with you, because it's easy to go, well, you know,
I'm not a good communicator because, and soon you say, because you enter the world of either
blame or self-comfort to say, I'm not a good communicator because my parents were mean to me.
Brendon Burchard: And so I always tell people, listen on limitations. Always listen for the
word because wow, I'm like this because, and you'll often add a negative thing. My parents
were like this. They didn't believe in me. She mistreated me. They cheated, they stole. Or
we're doing it for our own comfort because we don't believe we have empathy from the world.
Brendon Burchard: So sometimes when we share our limitations and our vulnerabilities with people,
what we're doing is we're reaching out. We're saying, Hey, you know, I'm, you know,
let me just be vulnerable with you real quick. What is doing? Could you please see me? Can you
recognize me? 'cause I'm not feeling like I like myself, or I'm not feeling good, seen,
heard, or I don't feel like the world is fair. Brendon Burchard: So let me tell you this
thing that's unfair for me. Could you see it and acknowledge it and say to me, oh yeah,
that is unfair. Or, oh, I understand now why you are like that. And the whole conversation
suddenly does something funny. It justifies and sets concrete around the limitation. Well,
suddenly we have verbalized the reason because we've verbalized the reason for the limitation.
Brendon Burchard: And now we coalesce around it and we actually just made it stronger. And so
empathy can be like that, which we don't talk about in the modern world. Sometimes overly
placating to people's, you know, vulnerabilities or limitations and staying on it and stewing on
it all day doesn't actually move them through. Brendon Burchard: It's often the difference in my
career of, as we'll share the difference sometimes between a therapist and a coach. Both absolutely
necessary. And I'm a huge mental health guy. Um, but there is a difference. Sometimes we'll spend
more time over here in a therapeutic context and a coach is gonna try to move you through
that limitation a little bit more aggressively. Brendon Burchard: Not that either is right,
both can be really wrong. But I think it's just a casual way to say to people, be careful of
just always talking about the limitation and arguing for it, and seeking the empathy and
understanding and comfort because all of a sudden you miss the ability to move through it. And I
thought that the movement through the book. Brendon Burchard: You took people on was so
powerful because you didn't let 'em sit there. Pastor Steven: Well, thank you for saying
that because when I wrote the mindset, I'm not stuck unless I stop. I thought
this could come across really callous to somebody Sure. Who just found out like,
I'm never gonna be able to have children, or I'm
never going to be able to fulfill this dream. Pastor Steven: Or I'm never gonna have my health
back like I did before. Or this person has gone outta my life like I lost my dad. And in this area
of my life, I do feel like there is a limitation. Well, there, there is a loss. Mm-Hmm. But I'm
trying to get you opened up. And anytime I talk about this, I cannot help but think about Moses
and the children of Israel at the Red Sea, right? Pastor Steven: And they're like, okay, God,
help us. Help us, help us. And they cried out and Moses says, don't worry. Stand
still. And you will see the salvation of the Lord. Right? Next verse. God says,
why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites, move on. Mm-Hmm. So it sounds spiritual. They're
crying out to God. The Lord will deliver you and he will through you, moving through it.
Pastor Steven: Right. And I love that about personal development. I love that about having
a coach to help us through these things and bring our faith into motion so that we can
actually see Faith Without Works is dead and that God promises to bring you through it.