Up to 30 percent of men at some point in their life will suffer from premature ejaculation,
in this video i'm going to go over exactly what id do if i was one of those men
So if you want to hear some tips about premature ejaculation, including actionable tips you
can do from herbs to kegel exercises, watch this video
Let’s go!
So, what id do if is a series where i share exactly what id do if i had specific issues
or goals, so what id do if i wanted to build muscle quick, lose weight or in this case,
help premature ejaculation, i'll go over what id do. I’m not telling anyone what to do,
I'm just saying what I'd do, step by step and hopefully it can form a foundation for
further reading or research.
So firstly, what’s premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation is where a man ejaculates (comes) too quickly during sexual intercourse.
It's a common problem. Up to 30 percent will have this issue at some point, and, 9 out
of 10 men with this issue ejaculate within 1 minute after penetration. This
issue can either be primary or secondary, primary means it;s been a lifelong issue since
first sexual experience, or secondary where it occured suddenly, so you may have been
fine, but, suddenly or gradually, you're not anymore.
Some of the main reasons for premature exaculation include
nerves, anxiety, stress, relationship issues, masturbation habits, and medication conditions.
There is also the cycle of PE, where it happens once, it’s awkward or you get a bad feeling,
so that makes you more tight, nervous and more likely to worry for the next time you
have sex, which makes it likely to happen and keep happeing, leading you down this negative
spiral. So this spiral needs to be broken, so
So here's exactly what id do if i had this issue, step by step
Firstly, I had a problem.
What some men tend to do is blame their partner, or their anger gets misplaced leading to more
insecurities in the relationship from both patterns. Instead of blaming, putting my partner
down, I'd admit I have an issue because no solution can be found if I'm not looking for
a solution. When I now interact with my partner, I'm looking first to create a safe space for
us both.
Then i will try learn to understand this does not make me less of a man, does not change
my personality, my vibrance, i am who i am, i just have an issue, one that i acknowledge
and will ensure i make it better
The second thing i’d do is go the Doctor
As with anything there will be varying scales of the issue. The reason for the doctor visit
is for me to try to get some understanding if the issue is physical or Psychological.
Physical maybe not being able to recognize when you're about to ejaculate, inflammation
in the prostate, thyroid issues, nerve issues or even hormonal imbalances. So understanding
if the reason is physical is something a doctor can help with, if there are now real reasons
from a physical perspective, then I know I have a lot of work to mentally to help.
So the third thing id do is introspection
Now this is a different one, I want to understand everything I'm thinking or feeling leading
up to and while being intimate, I'd do a lot of thinking here. Am i nervous, happy, excited,
anxious, are there any thoughts i have, what feelings does the premature ejaculation happen
under and does it happen all the times, the times when it happens, what’s different
to the times it doesn't happen, when was the first time it happened and what mood or state
was in and what mental space was i in after. I may even look into a therapist if there
is some issues i have not come to terms with
The fourth thing id do is kegels
Simply put, kegels are very beneficial for men, as well as women, helping strengthen
the pelvic floor. I’d start doing these religiously as Weak pelvic floor muscles might
impair your ability to delay ejaculation. Pelvic floor exercises like Kegels can help
strengthen these muscles. This isn't going to be the sole reason for premature ejaculation,
but i'd understand that one thing is going to bring about benefits but a whole host of
things might, for example, kegels may make me feel more in control as i have a better
ability to hold my ejaculation, even if for just 1 minute more, thus, this may give me
more confidence and reduce my anxiousness, thus potentially helping me even more
Results won’t happen immediately either. As with any muscle, it will need time to tone
and strengthen. Give yourself at least four to six weeks before expecting results.
Here is an easy way to do kegels is
Tighten and hold your pelvic floor muscles for five seconds, count slow.
Relax your pelvic muscles. You have just done one Kegel exercise. You should plan to do
10 to 20 Kegel exercises three to four times each day.
You can start off doing them flaccid, after a while you can do it erect, trying to hold
the erection for as long as possible doing the exercises, also, after a while once the
the pelvic floor gets stronger, you can start lifting things, like a weight towel, or you
can buy weights.
This is a key one, definitely, studies show that it is very promising for patients affected
by lifelong premature ejaculation. So, it can defo be promising for everyone, even if
you haven't got issues, you should be doing kegels anyway.
The fifth thing id do is have a conversation with my partner
I’d let them know I have this issue and I want to make it better. The reason for this
is i’ll know I'll need to create a safe place which is relaxing, trusting, and more
importantly patient. I’ll know my partner has needs but i’d try to make them understand
im doing this for us. This isn't easy to do and these conversations maybe awkward but
it’s part of the growth process and can help reduce the anxiety or build up before
the deed. Remember it’s not about going from 1 minute to 1 hour, it’s about going
from 1 minute to 1.30 seconds, then 2 minutes and slowly trying to build up.
I’d also journal every interaction, how I was feeling, was i nervous etc, this will
help mind body connection, as well as other things.
As my partner, how can you help? so for the ladies watching on behalf of their mr, approach
it with kindness, don't subconsciously in your frustration comment, make the man ashamed,
or embarrassed. This can be very subtle from rolling the eyes, to sighing or going straight
to sleep, or even pulling out a vibrator, without bringing him into
the play. Short term sacrifices and patience for long term pleasure is needed. Maybe in
subtle ways ask for tongue, fingers or other things, make it sexy instead, make him watch
you, make it a relaxing and fun environment, remove the pressure.
Hope you’re with me up until this point, i know some people just want to hear herbs
but with things like this, it’s a slower process, there is no quick fix unfortunately
and everyone will respond to different things
So, the 6th thing id do is ensure im exercising
I'd ensure I'm exercising, cardio and weights, studies show that physical activity has an
impact on erectile dysfunction. Especially if done at least 4 times a week for at least
40 mins. So i'd do something i love, swim, run, jug, row, box, cycle, whatever it is,
as long as i can be consistent. This is two fold, exercise helps the body adapt to stress
and it releases happy hormones, which can help relax the body. Also, it helps with blood
flow, which is important for the strength of an erection.
Then the 7th thing id do is work on my diet
Diet is key, there's causation, there correlation and indirect benefits to premature ejaculation
based on diet. For example, there is a study that found that there is a relationship between
premature ejaculation and levels of seminal magnesium. In this study those with lower
levels of magnesium levels were the group with premature ejaculation. Also, the decrease
in magnesium leads to decrease in nitric oxide amongst other things which is another important
thing for premature ejaculation.
So make sure you're eating foods high in zinc, magnesium, iron, iodine but in general, health
and wellbeing is key, remember, look good feel good do good. It’s a cycle, and here
I'm trying to break it. But also, thyroid issues, hormonal issues, inflammation can
affect the premature ejaculation, so, ensure you're staying well.
The 8th thing id do is buy some herbs
I’d buy herbs like ginkgo biloba, dulse, sea moss, ginseng, horny goat weed, tongkat
ali and tribulus terrestis. These herbs have adaptogenic, hormone balancing and aphrodisiac
properties. They should help me relax and also aid blood flow. Another thing is, some
of these herbs help with nitric oxide, nitric oxide is very important for sexual health,
especially the fact that decreased nitric oxide is shown to be associated with premature
ejaculation. Nitric oxide is a compound in the body that causes blood vessels to widen
and stimulates the release of certain hormones, such as insulin and human growth hormone.
So when you get an erection, it’s nitric oxide that is needed for the blood vessels
to relax and for blood to rush and fill it up.So it’s important for blood flow and
blood flow is important for so many processes including brain health.
So, i’d get those herbs to start, there are other herbs and im likely to do a full
video on herbs and premature ejaculation, so if that's something you want to see, comment
below
The 9th thing id do is mental movies
Now this is a weird one i must say, but hear me out, have you ever had a wet dream? During
your wet dream, do you remember the before or the after act, it’s unlikely, you tend
to only remember the act, and that's a lot shorter than you think. So the mind can literally
make you ejaculate in seconds, which is similar to premature ejaculation. It’s a mental
trick, so we need to train the mind. This in my opinion can be very helpful.
So, you may call this meditation but I don't complicate it by saying that, it’s literally
sitting down for about 30 minutes and picturing in your mind the ideal step by step movie
of your perfect night with the mrs. This is exactly what id do
Id close my eyes and imagine the warm up, the lead up, feeling comfortable, confident,
i’d imagine the touching, closeness, id imagine having a good erection, id imagine
the act, id imagine every detail, id imagine lasting for longer, id notice the colour of
the bedsheet, the window, is it day time or night, i’d notice everything and in this
movie of me in my head, i’d try to replay this often.
The mind is complicated and there is a conscious and subconscious, the way to get into the
subscious is through repeating things consciously, So, id repeat this often. This is powerful
The last thing I'd do is change how i mastubate.
I’m not going to tell anyone to watch porn or not or masturbate or not, but, personally,
I'd reduce my consumption of it and if and when I masturbate instead of using just porn,
sometimes use the mental movie and other times porn. But what's more important is during
the times you're masturbating, do not ejaculate quickly. Practice starting and stopping or
the start stop method, practice bringing yourself close to climax and using your kegel muscles
to push it back down, some even use the squeeze technique here. I would not be ejaculating
quickly in any form, I'd be trying to hold an erection for over 20 minutes at least.
Easier said than done but i'd change how i see these things.
These exercises can also be done with your partner, the squeeze technique, start and
stop, i’d defo look more into these and try to implement
So there we have it, the 10 things i'd do if i had premature ejaculation, is there anything
i've missed that would add? Comment below. Let me know what next I should cover under
the series, exactly what I'd do if.
If you want to learn more about herbs, click on my face and get my herb guide and before
you go, check out this video right here and right here