♫ Morgan here with my ragtime band
♫ and a new dance craze that's sweeping the land.
♫ It's called the Derek, it's easy to do.
♫ First things first is you shuffle your shoes.
♫ Then hold your breath! ♫
(gasping)
- Hey, welcome to the Teen Wolf After After Show.
Just like a chill fucking palace of fun and stuff.
I'm Morgan, who's the host.
And just, I'm really miserable.
- Indeed.
(melodic rock music)
You wanna know about my first month in Los Angeles?
Yeah?
Great, it's been a fuckin' shitshow.
It's been not fun.
I, I botched the only audition I've had so far.
Probably not gonna get another one.
'Cause my agent might be in prison for arson, I bet.
And my movie deal, remember how I had that, no?
Well, that fell through, so that's gone now.
You wanna know why?
- Why?
- Because I slept with Jen Perelman
at the studio and I did a bad job.
So, no more movie.
So that's great and I'm here with Melissa,
who plays Melissa on Teen Wolf.
(nervous chuckling)
So, what's up?
- Hey.
Hey, you know, maybe we should do this another time?
- Do you got somewhere to be?
- [Melissa] No, no.
I just think maybe, are you, are you OK?
You maybe going through something here?
- No, no. - [Mellisa] No?
- [Mellisa] OK.
- Why don't we leave the judgements up to God?
OK, or Judge Judy or something.
(chuckles)
- [Fran] Cut!
Hey!
Morgan, what the fuck is going on?
- [Melissa] Hey, hey, can I go?
- No, you stay.
- I don't know, I thought I was moving to Los Angeles
and I had all this shit going for me.
And then I got here and I've got nothing!
Nothing's happening!
- Really, this is nothing?
People would kill for this opportunity, OK?
Melissa wanted this job.
- That's not actually true.
- Morgan, you're drunk. - [Morgan] What?
- Yeah, I'm drunk.
Good news, way to be perceptive.
- Did you drive here?
- [Morgan] Sure.
I hit a jeep in the parking lot.
- [Fran] What?
- I'm sorry, what?
- I said that I hit a jeep in the...
- Did you hit my jeep?
(mumbling "I don't know")
- Bitch, do you wanna go?
- I would love to go home.
- No one wants to go, no one's a bitch.
- [Morgan] Can I go home?
- She means fight.
And you don't wanna do that.
- You do not.
- [Fran] Go check on your jeep, OK?
- OK.
- [Fran] You let me know if there's damages.
- [Melissa] OK, well you let me know
what the fuck is going on here!
- OK, - [Morgan] I'm sorry.
- I'm not the enemy here.
- [Melissa] I am not the enemy here.
- That's what I'm saying.
- I'm saying that too.
- [Morgan] Am I the enemy?
- Yes Morgan, you're the enemy.
You're fired.
- That makes complete sense.
- [Fran] Yes it does.
- Good work, way to be a producer!
- [Fran] Oh, good--
- Just, "my name's the producer, you're fired."
- Wow.
- I've been fired.
That makes sense to me.
- [Fran] Yes.
That means you leave now, OK?
- OK, alright, sorry.
- Bye.
That jacket's ours.
By the way, and I mean this with the utmost respect.
But you're a total dickhead, Morgan.
Frank called by the way.
- What do you mean?
- Your agent, Frank?
He called me and begged me to give you this job, so...
- Jeep's fine.
- [Fran] Oh! (laughing)
- [Fran] Great, yeah!
(melodic, acoustic pop music)
♫ Is it really what you think?
(melodic, acoustic pop music)
♫ Or is it just what you say you think?
(melodic, acoustic pop music)
♫ When you're out looking for a fight,
♫ but I don't wanna fight.
♫ You can't give what you take.
(melodic, acoustic pop music)
(fuzzy dance music)