There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.
Come on, you're going out with a guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him.
So does he have a hump? A hump and a hair piece?
Wait, does he eat chalk?
You 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl.
Okay, everybody relax.
This is not even a date.
It's just two people going out to dinner and then not having sex.
Sounds like a date to me.
So I'm back in high school, standing in the middle of the cafeteria
and I realise I am totally naked.
Oh, I've had that dream.
And I look down and I realise there is a phone...
there.
-Instead of... -That's right!
Never had that dream.
All of the sudden, the phone starts to ring.
And it turns out it's my mother.
Which is very, very weird because...
she never calls me.
Hi.
This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Are you okay, sweetie?
I just feel like someone reached down my throat,
grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth
and tied it around my neck.
Cookie?
Carol moved her stuff out today.
-Let me get you some coffee. -Thanks.
No, don't. Stop cleansing my aura.
Just leave my aura alone. Okay?
I'll be fine, alright.
Really everyone, I hope she will be very happy.
-No, you don't. -I don't, to hell with her, she left me.
And you never knew she was a lesbian.
No, Okay.
Why does everyone keep fixating on that.
She didn't know, how should I know?
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Did I say that out loud?
Alright, Ross, you're feeling a lot of pain right now.
You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Strip joints.
Come on, you're single.
See, but I don't want to be single, okay.
I just wanna be married again.
And I just want a million dollars.
Rachel?
Oh god, Monica hi! Thank god.
I just went to your building and you weren't there
and then this guy with the big hammer said that you might be here and you are.
Can I get you some coffee?
Decaf.
Okay everybody, this is Rachel.
Another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody.
This is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey and do you remember my brother, Ross?
-Sure, hi. -Hey.
Wow.
I know.
Seems smaller somehow.
Has it always been purple?
Look around, you guys.
This was your first home.
And it was a happy place,
filled with love and laughter
but more important because of rent control it was a friggin' steal.
Hey, do you realise that at one time or another,
we all lived in this apartment?
Oh yeah, that's true.
I haven't.
What about that summer during college that you lived with Grandma
and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
Oh, honey I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
So, I guess this is it?
Yeah.
I guess so.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
It's gonna be okay.
Okay?
Do you guys have to go to the new house right away or do you have some time?
We've got some time.
Okay, should we get some coffee?
Sure.
Where?