- Why do I have to deal with this?
It's not my fault.
I didn't choose this family or its problems.
I didn't even choose to be born.
If you've had these thoughts,
you probably feel
like there is something unfair happening in your life,
because you're carrying the burden of someone else.
Whether you're burdened by providing for your family,
taking care of your loved ones,
or dealing with the emotional wounds of others,
Allah promises great reward
in carrying the burdens of others,
and maintaining the ties of kinship.
And if you turn away from all of that,
Allah doesn't just promise that you'll lose out
on a major reward,
you may also end up losing yourself.
It's true.
We didn't ask to be put in these families,
because Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'Aala
was the one who chose your family for you.
Every single family has its own unique traits and burdens.
The question is whether you're willing
to take on the burden of others with a smile
or with resentment.
The Prophet SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam said,
"Whoever relieves a Muslim of a burden
from the burdens of this world,
Allah will relieve him
of a burden from the burdens of the Day of Judgment.
And whoever helps ease a difficulty in this life,
Allah will grant him ease from a difficulty
in this life and in the hereafter.
And whoever covers the faults of a Muslim,
Allah will cover his faults for him in this life
and in the hereafter.
And Allah is engaged in helping His servant
so long as His servant is engaged in helping his brother."
SubhanAllah how often we think someone is draining us
and they're actually the source of any present good
that we have in our lives,
they may be expiating some previous sins that we committed
or through them, Allah is opening future doors for us.
But sometimes the pressure gets to you
and you feel like your life
isn't turning out the way you expected
because of the burdens you choose to relieve from others.
But the Prophet SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam
said two things.
He swore, SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam
that "charity never decreases wealth"
And he also said
"man sarahu an yubsata alayhi rizquhu awyunsaa
fi atharihi falyasil rahima"
Whoever wishes for their sustenance to increase
and their years on this earth to increase
should take care of their family ties.
This is the perfection of Allah's decree.
You didn't just spend money, but you also spent time.
And just as you spent your years and resources
in service of your family, Allah increases your sustenance
and your lifespan through them.
It could be a parent you're caring for,
or a sibling that counts on you
or the expectations of others upon you
that seem like such a heavy burden,
but that burden may actually be your greatest blessing.
The Prophet SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam gives us
this really interesting interaction.
He says that when Musa 'Alayhi Salaam
met our father Adam 'Alayhi Salaam
he said to him, "Ya Adam, anta aabuna khayabtana
wa akhrajtana mina aljanati bidhambik"
O Adam, you are our father, but you let us down
and you caused us to be expelled from Paradise
because of your sin!
So Adam 'Alayhi Salaam says to him, "Ya Musa,
Allah chose you to speak directly to,
and He wrote the Tawrah for you with His own Hand.
Are you blaming me
for something which Allah decreed for me 40 years
before He even created me?"
"Fahaja Adamu Musa"
The Prophet SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam said three times,
"Adam won the argument against Musa."
So wait, we believe in original sin?
No, we don't believe in original sin,
but we do believe in original decree
because none of us have to be purified
of the sin of Adam 'Alayhi Salaam,
but we are all a perfect continuation of a story.
Adam 'Alayhi Salaam
was saying to Musa 'Alayhi Salaam, look,
I committed my sin,
but our decree of being here on Earth
was going to happen regardless.
Allah meant for you to be on earth,
and my sin was simply the vehicle
by which you were going to get here.
And look what Musa 'Alayhi Salaam
gets out of this all.
His name is mentioned more times in the Quran
than any other human being.
In fact, more times than the years he lived on Earth.
136 mentions from Allah in the Quran.
A legendary story and rank with Allah
that would not have been possible
without the slip of Adam to this earth
and the hardship imposed upon him
through Firaun and Bani Isra'il.
And it's not all one way.
SubhanAllah how Allah also
sent Musa 'Alayhi Salaam and al-Khadr
to fix the wall of a people
who didn't seem deserving at all.
Why? Because Allah said
"Kana abuhuma saliha"
They had a righteous father that passed away.
So Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'Aala
was relieving something on his behalf
in the future, but we were also preceded by good deeds
that relieved us before we were even born.
When it comes to our families
and the inherited burden we supposedly have,
or the siblings that we feel
like we always have to do more for,
realize that someone else also carried your burden
for you in the past and you were unable to repay them.
And it may be that through you carrying
someone else's burden today,
Allah is going to send you someone to carry yours tomorrow.
So whether it's people's faults before you got here,
or the people who seem to burden you now,
or the burdens you voluntarily take upon yourself
to help others, they're all part of your story
and the buildup to something else.
When the people of Ta'if
stoned the Prophet SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam,
he didn't even see them throwing the stones at him
because he was too focused on Allah
and wondering what Allah wanted to bring out of him
by decreeing the cruelty of these strangers
after his own family in Mecca failed him.
But sometimes we only see the stones, the insults,
the hurdles that shaitan amplifies.
And we allow shaitan to take us down
to where he really wants us,
low like him, distant from Allah
blaming his decree and everyone and everything else
for our problems.
And far from the mercy of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'Aala.
We start telling ourselves
that we spent all this time serving others
and now it's time for me to serve myself
but not our higher soul, the desires of our lower selves.
And in reality, you lose yourself.
Wala takunu ka-alladhina nasu l-laha fa-ansahum anfusahum
Don't be like those who forgot Allah.
So they forgot their own selves.
What's the connection between serving others
without resentment and wasting away yourself
without any form of repentance?
Allah says "Qul yaʿibadiya alladhina asrafu ʿala anfusihim
la taqnatu min rahmati l-lah"
O you who have exceeded the limits against yourselves,
do not despair in the mercy of Allah.
You've wasted yourself away
instead of putting it to the service of Allah
and those whom He ordered you to be there for.
And you've done a disservice to others
and your own soul by depriving yourself of spiritual oxygen
and letting it loose to indulge
in all of its lowest vices.
And SubhanAllah, have you ever seen
someone turn away from Allah
and then become a better son or a better daughter
or a better sibling or a better friend?
It's all interconnected.
When you burden yourself with sin,
you have no capacity to carry anyone else's burden
and seek the reward for it.
It's in those moments that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'Aala
might just send you a lifeline
in the form of a friend or a family member
who tells you what you don't wanna hear,
but is willing to help carry your burden this time.
And all of that is a sign that Allah
is willing to forgive you so long as you turn back to Him.
But otherwise, when a person decides
to choose the path away from Allah,
then they'll be met with a deep loneliness
and isolation where everyone
is trying to save them except themselves.
And no one can carry the burden of your sins for you.
Hurt people hurt people is what they say.
But that doesn't have to be the case.
Omar radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu could have been trapped
by the trauma of his father
and justified all of his bad traits.
And by the way, he was an alcoholic before Islam,
but when he found a greater purpose, he said,
"Allahuma inni da'eef fa qawni"
"O Allah, I am weak, so strengthen me.
I am harsh, so make me gentle.
I am stingy, so make me generous."
He turned all of his personal weaknesses into strengths
and then became known as the vanguard
of the oppressed and the weak.
Start thinking of every person
with all of their problems placed in your life
as something meant to grow you,
not to become your excuse to fail
or your permanent block.
Every circumstance that seems to have been brought upon you
through no fault of your own
is just a means by which Allah
brings you to a place in Paradise
that you also couldn't have earned on your own.
La tarf'ana ila ghayrihi hajatan huwa muriduha alayk
fa kayfa yarfa'u ghayruhu ma kana huwa lahu waadi'an
man la yastati'u an yarfa'ah hajatan aan nafsihi
fa kayfa yastati'u an yakuna laha aan ghayrihi raafi'an
Appeal to no one
but Him to relieve you of a pressing need
that He Himself brought upon you
for how can someone else remove what He has imposed upon you
and how can he who is unable to free himself
of a pressing need free anyone else of one?
For some people, it takes time
for them to come back to Allah.
They can be engrossed in an environment of darkness
and not be able to see the light for miles.
But for others, it can just take a moment
that shakes them out of apathy
and awakens their faith once again,
because perhaps through a previous deed
or dua or for some other reason,
Allah chose for you to have another chance
that someone else wishes they could have.
Because for as long as your heart still yearns for Allah,
He will keep calling you home.
And sometimes He'll send you signs
that are impossible to ignore.
Captioning provided by MUHSEN (www.muhsen.org)
Qul lan yusibana
illa ma katab Al-lahu lana
huwa mawlana waʿal Allahi
falyatawakkali l-mu'minuna
Captioning provided by MUHSEN (www.muhsen.org)