GUILLERMO, IT'S BEEN TERRIFIC, HASN'T IT?
IT FEELS LIKE IT'S FLOWN BY AND ALSO BEEN A LIFETIME.
SO IN CASE YOU NEED A A QUICK REFRESHER ON 2017, LET
ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU REAL QUICK.
SEAN SPICER LIED ABOUT CROWDS AT TRUMP'S INAUGURATION.
W SEAN SPICER LIED ABOUT CROWDS
AT TRUMP'S INAUGURATION.
WOMEN ALL OVER MARCHED IN FORMATION.
WE ALL LOOKED AWAY FROM THE SOLAR ECLIPSE,
EXCEPT FOR ONE GUY WHO IGNORED ALL THE TIPS.
HILLARY'S BOOK WAS CALLED “WHAT HAPPENED.”
EMINEM PARKED HIS CAR TO START RAPPING.
KAEPERNICK TOOK A KNEE.
NEIL GORSUCH STOLE A SEAT.
O.J. WALKED FREE.
DON JUNIOR SAT ON A TREE.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S BEEN LESS THAN A YEAR?
SINCE THE WORD “COVFEFE” WAS ALL YOU COULD HEAR.
I KNOW WE ALL THOUGHT 2016 WAS BAD, BUT 2017 HAS BEEN KIND
OF THE WORST.
WE FOUGHT OVER STATUES.
READ TWEETS ABOUT FAKE NEWS.
UNITED AIRLINES DRAGGED A MAN OFF A PLANE.
AVOCADO TOAST PHOTOS DROVE US INSANE.
BETSY DEVOS WAS MET WITH GREAT BOOS.
A BBC TODDLER INTERRUPTED THE NEWS.
AN OPIOID CRISIS.
THE FIGHT AGAINST ISIS.
CALIFORNIA'S ON FIRE.
MICHAEL FLYNN WAS A LIAR.
HURRICANES TOOK A HEAVY TOLL.
WE STILL COULDN'T GET ANY GUN CONTROL.
BAD MEN HAD TO ANSWER FOR THEIR AWFUL BEHAVIOR.
BRAVE WOMEN SPOKE OUT AND BECAME OUR TRUE SAVIORS.
SO THANKS TO THE SILENCE BREAKERS WHO LET US KNOW HOW MEN
IN 2017 WERE THE ABSOLUTE WORST.
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WASN'T ALL BAD.
IT'S NICE TO REMEMBER GOOD TIMES WE HAD.
GOSLING SAVED JAZZ.
EMMA STONE TOOK FLIGHT.
BUT THIS YEAR'S HASHTAG: OSCAR'S SO MOONLIGHT.
THE SONG OF THE SUMMER WAS CALLED "DESPACITO"
YOU KNOW THE WORDS: (
DESPACITO!
SALT BAE SEDUCED US WITH HIS MEATS.
KENDRICK ASTOUNDED US WITH HIS BEATS.
FIDGET SPINNERS WERE THE HOTTEST FAD.
GEORGE CLOONEY BECAME THE HOTTEST DAD.
A QUIRKY "JEOPARDY" CHAMPION WAS CROWNED.
B.o.B WON'T BELIEVE THE EARTH IS ROUND.
"STRANGER THINGS 2" HAD EVERYONE BINGE-ING,
WHILE GUYS WEARING ROMPERS HAD EVERYONE CRINGING.
SERENA GAVE BIRTH.
BEYONCE HAD TWINS.
AND KHLOE AND KYLIE ALSO MAYBE WANT IN?
AND THOSE ARE JUST 13 REASONS WHY 2017 MAYBE WASN'T ENTIRELY
THE WORST.
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WHILE JARED LOVED TO PLAY PRETEND.
ATTORNEY JEFF SESSIONS JUST COULD NOT RECALL,
WHY MANAFORT WAS TALKING TO RUSSIANS AT ALL.
MITCH McCONNELL WHINED.
PAUL RYAN LOST HIS SPINE.
SEAN SPICER WAS FIRED.
SCARAMUCCI WAS HIRED.
REINCE PRIEBUS RETIRED.
SCARAMUCCI WAS FIRED.
STEVE BANNON WAS CANNED.
JOHN KELLY WAS BLAND.
ALL JOBS AT THE MERCY OF TWO TINY HANDS.
AND THE BEST PART OF THIS YEAR IS WHEN WE WERE TREATED
TO 11 SWEET MINUTES WHEN TRUMP'S TWEETS WERE DELETED.
PENNYWISE THE CLOWN SCARED US“ IT”-LESS.
BITCOIN HAD US GOING, “WHAT EVEN IS THIS?”
THE iPHONE 10 RECOGNIZED OUR FACES.
THE ASTROS RAN AROUND THE BASES.
CURRY BEAT LEBRON.
THE FALCONS LEAD WAS GONE.
WE DISCOVERED NEW PLANETS IN OUTER SPACE.“
GET OUT” SHOWED US THE SUNKEN PLACE.
ARCHIE GOT HOT.
THE EARTH GOT HOTTER.
PEOPLE OF FLINT STILL NEED CLEAN WATER.
WE MET CARDI B.
4:44'D WITH JAY-Z.
RAGNAROCKED WITH THOR.
WONDER WOMAN'D SOME MORE.
BLAKE SHELTON WAS THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.
BUT WHAT ABOUT SOMEONE WHO SINGS WHILE HE DRIVES?
(
THE PHONE RIGHT NOW.
WHY?
BECAUSE HE LOST TO BLAKE SHELTON AND 2017 IS DEAD!
DON'T GET ME WRONG, THERE'S REASON TO HOPE.
WE'VE STILL GOT OBAMAS.
AND A YOUNG POPE.
AUSTRALIAN GAY COUPLES CAN GET LEGALLY MARRIED.
AN ACTRESS FROM "SUITS" IS ENGAGED TO PRINCE HARRY.
THE TRANS MILITARY BAN WAS BLOCKED IN COURT,
AND HER WHITE HOUSE TENURE WAS QUICKLY CUT SHORT.
MEXICO'S NOT GOING TO PAY FOR THE WALL.
ROY MOORE LOST HIS RACE, HE'S STILL BANNED FROM THE MALL.
SURE, HASHTAG NO DAPL DIDN'T QUITE WORK,
AND VLADIMIR PUTIN'S STILL A BIG JERK.
BOB MUELLER IS PROBING, SO PLEASE DON'T YOU FRET,
THAT IS, IF KIM JONG UN HASN'T NUKED US YET.
IT'S 2017, THERE'S NOTHING TO FEAR,
AS LONG AS YOU VOTE IN THE MIDTERMS NEXT YEAR!
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BRAND-NEW "CROSSWALK THE MUSICAL"!