As we brave the brutal 60-plus degree weather here
with a chance of mist, let's go live.
My good buddy in the cold, cold Minnesota.
Nick Swardson. You know Swardson.
What's up, Nick? Are you there, buddy?
-Yeah. -Hi! -(cheering and applause)
Applause. Don't applaud.
What's going on, David? Yeah.
It's cold as shit here.
(laughter)
It's tough.
-SPADE: Yeah? -It's below zero, which means negative.
You know, negative, like all your reviews?
-(laughter) -Yeah.
Are you a Viking or a Vik-queen?
I'm getting different, uh, things in my ear.
Oh, you're still salty
you're the oldest elf in the North Pole.
-Right, David? -Yeah.
I got to get back on the shelf.
-So, bud, uh... -Um, okay, buddy.
Yeah, uh, happy holidays to everybody.
What's up to the panel. Hi, everyone.
-(whoops) -And, uh, yeah, I'm gonna go brave the cold.
It's not bad. To us in the north, this is hot, dude,
so I'm gonna go outside right now.
Enjoy, everybody.
-Yeah, it's hot out! -Are you going right now?
Oh!
Is it cold? It looked cold.
(cheering and applause)
All right. Well, we'll check back on him.
I can't take it when it's too cold.
This is what it's all about. Out here, you know,
you can see how many people enjoy the outdoors here.
Just people lined up on the sidewalks.
-SPADE: Oh, yeah. Star Wars. -Lining...
Oh.
I get it.
Almost political.
Um, Kate Beckinsale says she thinks married couples
might be better off living in separate houses.
Does this make sense?
-Mm. -Hmm.
I mean, if I'm in a relationship with Kate Beckinsale,
I'll do whatever she really wants me to do.
(cheering and applause)
Can she move in with you and your fiancée?
-Are you gonna live together? -I'll try and discuss that.
-What are you gonna do? -We are, unfortunately,
going to live together.
(laughter)
But I get it. I think it's a great idea.
Who doesn't want to just (bleep) their neighbor?
(laughter)
-(cheering and applause) -Yes.
Yeah.
I-I just don't know if I'm gonna take advice
from someone who dated Pete Davidson.
-SPADE: Yeah, there you go. -(audience groaning)
-(laughter and applause) -Good.
-That's right. -And divorced from a director,
which explains why you don't want to live with them.
They can be... they can be a tad controlly around the house.
-SPADE: Oh. -You know, you do... you do oral sex on him,
and then he... and then he's like, uh,
"All right, let's take it from the top.
-A little less teeth." -SPADE: "All right.
-Let's take it from the tip." -"More..."
I know when I grew, uh, grew up,
I would live, you know, in the room with my brothers,
and we would always argue and stuff.
And then I got in college, and I argued with my roommates.
I feel like it might be the same thing.
You know, or you could... shouldn't expect it
to be that much different.
Just too much proximity.
I don't think anything bad about it.
Just some people need their elbow room.
I just don't think people can afford to live in two places.
-That's the problem, right? -Right.
-I mean, let's... -Yeah, that's the problem.
-That is a problem. -Mm-hmm.
-That's the problem. All right. -Mm-hmm.
-Breaking down the hard issues. -Let's... let's move on.
That's his advice for the average joe is, like,
"We know you got your in-laws in the attic
"and three kids who can't get a job in the basement,
but why don't you grab a second place."
-BYER: Mm-hmm. -SPADE: Yeah. See?
-We're touching on big issues. -(applause)
-All right, Star Wars-- -(man whoops)
you love it-- Rise of Skywalker comes out tonight,
and there's been people camped out, of course,
in front of theaters for days.
Have you ever liked anything this much?
I wish I did.
Eh.
I once waited in a very long line for chicken,
-which is, like, -(cheering and applause)
so on the nose.
It's... (laughs)
It was really good.
It was Howlin' Ray's.
I waited for three hours.
-(cheering and applause) -Look, they're on your team.
-Oh, boy. -I don't-- I-- But I also feel like--
I know it's, like, their nerd Super Bowl.
-You know, I get it. This is-- this is their big moment. -Yeah.
But can't you buy reserved tickets and just come that day?
I-I don't know. Is this for show?
-That's not hardcore. That's not hardcore. -I know.
They got to be hardcore. That is...
I think it's a good idea.
Parents are bringing their kids out there,
teaching them to wait. Skipping school
is giving them the survival skills they'll need
when they are homeless as adults.
(applause)
That's funny.
Yeah. Yeah, don't kid yourself. This is L.A.
They're assuming this is a line for the movie.
Not you again.
This is-- this is...
(laughs) I'm trying to--
I'm trying to make a point today, David.
I know. You're real-- You're getting it
-into every subject. -They got camping equipment.
They're a little deranged-looking.
And, uh, you know,
there's-there's another line at the Greyhound station.
They're waiting for the, uh...
the 355 to Phoenix.
(applause)
Listen, nerd tailgating.
Um, all right, staying on the subject of Star Wars,
the movie's now receiving a lot of attention
-because of a same-sex kiss. -Mm.
Speaking of nerds pitching tents, um,
the biggest kiss was between a brother and sister,
so this is progress.
Because, remember, it was Luke and... Leia?
-Mm-hmm. -Is this good or bad? Go.
And if you say bad, there's gonna be a problem, I'm sure.
-So, what do you think? -(laughs)
I think it's great. I mean, Star Wars is getting woke.
They had black people in the last one for the first time.
They've got gay people in this one now.
And I hear, the next one,
Hannah Gadsby's gonna play a stormtrooper
but less funny.
Was Lando not black?
-What are you saying? -Yeah. -Oh, yeah.
He doesn't see color.
-I don't see color. -Yeah.
Billy Dee Williams is the blackest man alive.
-(cheering) -But, I mean, it's not bad,
but it's definitely a cry for attention.
You know, it's not woke to just see two ladies kissing.
Go all out. I want to see droids and Wookiees
-(bleep)ing each other. -Yes. Yes.
Yes. I want to see, like...
I want to see, like, Chewbacca
and, like, a lady Chewbacca (bleep).
-You know what I mean? -Yeah. -Yeah.
-Like, just their hair intertwined. -Yes.
That's what I want to see.
I-I want Star Whores.
-(cheering and applause) -Yes. Yes, give me Star Whores.
Everybody got big titties.
If they were really progressive,
Chewbacca would be, uh, shaved bald.
All right, so I'm hearing that we have Nick back on the line.
Nick, I had one last question for you.
Are you there? Did you go outside?
(chuckles) No. Nick?
Is it-- It looks super cold.
Is that the-- is that the whole bit?