Digimon World, a PS1 game that throws you into the digital world and asks you to save
File Island.
This is achieved by attracting as many digimon as you can to the main town, which will supposedly
get rid of the mass hysteria affecting the other digimon.
The first thing the game asks of you is your name.
I, of course, name my character Buttfee.
I also tried to name my digimon Pikachu, because I like fuck with things, but it wouldn't fit.
Thus, my digimon throughout the game was named Pikach.
Anyway, as for how the game plays, you are supposed to venture into the wilds of File
Island to get whatever digimon you can to come to the town.
Convincing them to move to File City can consist of a few things, ranging from giving them
a certain item to navigating canon maze.
Most of the time though, you just have to fight them, which I never really understood.
“ Hey, do you wanna be friends?”
“Yeah, but first you gotta BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA ME.”
“Uhh, I don't think I like where this relationship is headed.”
The biggest obstacle to all of this is that the world is full of digi-assholes that want
to kill you because they've lost their minds.
This means you need to train your Digimon to be big and strong so it can protect you.
This is done by using certain facilities and by battling to raise your digimon's stats,
as well as feeding your digimon, making sure it sleeps, watching its weight, and a few
other things.
Then, if you've done well enough in this, your Digimon will evolve into a new and more
powerful form.
This is probably the coolest part of this game.
Your digimon starts of as a baby, and as you train it it goes through a few different evolutions
that change depending on how well you trained you digimon and it's stats.
And, oh man, do you feel excited when your digimon starts to evolve.
It takes a fair amount of time and effort, so you get pumped when it happens.
This aspect of the game is also, weirdly, one of the worst parts of the game.
Let me explain.
You see, when you put in a good effort and get a good digimon for it, it feels great!
It feels like you really earned it!
But, no one is perfect.
Sometimes, even though you are giving it your best, things can go wrong.
Keeping that in mind, I'd like you to meet, Numemon.
I hope you like him because you'll be seeing this fucker a lot!
You see, Numemon is the result of fucking up your Digimon too much when training.
Too many mistakes, and you get a Numemon.
He attacks by farting and throwing poo, and is an objectively bad digimon.
Thing is, he appears after three evolutions, meaning that you would have already sunken
a good amount of time into your digimon in order to get him.
It physically hurts to put so much effort into a digimon, just to have it turn out like
this.
And it's not like you don't try.
A lot of things can go wrong.
Your digimon is a literal monster, and he eats like one, so keeping him properly fed
is pretty difficult.
Not mention, they shit like monsters, too.
Digimon are sophisticated creatures however, and they are much to high and mighty to go
on the ground.
This means, if you don't find a toilet, they'll poo on the ground, which counts as a care
mistake.
Digimon also have to sleep.
Not that big a deal, but if you aren't careful, they'll crap as they sleep.
This is a huge problem, as it happens a lot.
Which is weird, because I've never faced a problem like this.
How often does this happen in real life?
I can count on one hand how many times I've shit the bed.
Zero!
Zero times!
I've never shit in my bed.
If you have, I am sorry because it is apparently very unpleasant.
Another thing that's annoying is that your digimon gets tired after training it for so
long.
This makes sense.
The problem is, I can't tell when they are getting tired.
They just sort of randomly display this tear drop above their head to tell you “hey,
you fucked up.”
Once you see the teardrop the damage is already done.
You can prevent this, however, by having your digimon rest in a specific chair in town.
Again, not knowing when he was tired, I just sort of guessed when he needed to rest.
And, oh, would you look at that!
He shit in the chair!
Why?!
What is wrong with you?!
So, all of this combined gets you a Numemon.
And how do you remedy this, you may ask.
You see, you can't get a new digimon until your current one dies.
You can achieve this by having him lose in three battles, which kills him.
But you don't want to, since you'll lose money and can cause your digimon to not pass on
some of the moves he's learned.
It's best for them to die of a natural death.
The best way to shorten you digimon's life span is by making it unhappy, more precisely,
by scolding it.
So you just end up screaming at the poor thing until it dies!
Its pretty morbid.
Now seems as good a time as any to mention the... unique translation.
For instance, when you're excited, what would you say is an appropriate word to express
that?
Would it be “yay?”
Maybe “woo?”
Or maybe an exaggerated but satisfying “yes?
“For digimon World, the appropriate answer is “Waou!”
Anytime you pick up an item, your charter exclaims “waou” to show he is excited.
This isn't the only thing either.
Quite a few times the translation seems a bit off.
Like, there is always unnecessary things said or things seem to be repeated.
That said, once you get the hang of things and become more experienced in the ways of
raising digimon, * Cough Cough * (Save scumming) you can more or less safely traverse File
Island.
Doing so builds up the town giving you access to facilities that are incredibly important
to an adventurer such as yourself, like an item shop, a hospital, a whale, and … a
curling area...
Okay, their not all helpful.
Still, the city continues to grow.
And after the city has grown large enough, you are attacked by a dragon, snake, skeleton...bird?
Whatever, a thing attacks you.
Upon defeating it, you are now free to access Mt. Infinity, the final area of the game.
After spending a while traversing the Matrix, you come face to face with the one responsible
for the corruption of the minds of the digimon on File Island.
Analog Man.
He quickly explains his motives unnecessarily, as any good villain would, and says his plan
was to turn all of the digimon into his slaves.
He then summons Machinedramon, which a terrifying dragon, tank, cannon... digimon get a little
crazy down the line.
Either way, he's powerful and intimidating, and it actually took me a few times to beat
him.
Eventually however, by the shear forces of luck and persistence, I beat him.
And, it's not explained why exactly, but you get a shot of Analog Man screaming in terror.
Then you have a brief reunion with the digimon you've helped and tell your digimon that you
had fun.
Then you are returned back to the human world to continue your life as a normal boy.
So, now that that's said, what do I think of the game?
I liked it, but I honestly don't know if I would recommend it.
Mainly because this game requires that you dedicate a lot of time to it.
You are expected to trial and error your way to victory, and people don't have infinite
free time to do this.
I myself eventually broke down and looked up a guide since I was getting pretty sick
of getting caught in this loop of spending a lot of time with digimon, getting a Numemeon,
and starting over.
It is not a bad game, but it is certainly flawed.
The biggest sin being that it wastes your time.
So, that's that.
Thanks for watching.