- In this video,
I will share with you 10 reasons why men do come back.
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Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite,
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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And just before I will share with you
those 10 reasons why men usually come back,
don't forget to take my free self-awareness test
to find out are you a woman of high value,
or low value,
which I will drop down in the video description box below.
And if you like my merch, Chase Goals and Not the Drama,
you can always get it in my YouTube store.
And without further ado,
let's start with why men usually come back,
with the reason number one.
He wants fun.
Because the truth is,
at some point you gave it to him,
and he still remembers how easy it was to get,
therefore, he's thinking he might get back
a lucky chance again.
For example, if right now you're behaving high value,
perhaps you have changed over the years,
or perhaps you have not changed over the years,
but in the past, if you were a bit more naive,
a bit more gullible,
and used to have a little fling here and there,
and you slept with him quite easily,
now, after a couple of months,
couple of years, perhaps,
or maybe even many years later,
he still texts you,
majority of the time is because he still remembers
that he got it easy from you a while back.
You're still as an easy girl in his books.
Therefore, he is coming back to you, "pursuing" you,
because he's hoping that he's gonna get some fun with you.
Number two, which is quite a common one, I would say,
it's he wants an ego stroke.
So, maybe in the past you were dating,
maybe it was something like friends with benefits,
a relationship, situation-ship, whichever it was,
and maybe you guys were dating,
and he never kind of made it official,
because you were a bit too into him.
Maybe you wear your heart on the sleeve too much.
Maybe you are suggesting him a lot
how you want to be in a relationship.
You were having these kind of googly eyes at him,
"worshiping him,"
and things fell apart,
you guys went separate ways.
But now, after a couple of years,
he's back on your case.
Well, if you think about it logically, why is he back?
It's because he probably wants the same thing
that he used to have with you before.
So, in the past, if you were behaving low value,
and you gave him a lot of ego stroke,
and he felt comfortable and secure,
but did not see you as a relationship material,
more was seeing you
as somebody he could kinda take advantage of,
kinda have some fun with here and there.
Now he's back,
and now he's kinda trying to get in touch with you,
it's because he is hoping
that he is gonna get the same thing that he had before,
because he's checking in with you, do you still like him
like you used to like him before,
and will you still worship him,
or get with him into that friends-with-benefits zone
as before?
Which, of course, will give him a lovely ego stroke.
Ladies, men do not fall in love with ego-strokers.
They fall in love with women
that value and respect themselves,
and know how to show their value and worth,
and let men do the work, not vice versa.
Number three,
why he could be potentially coming back to you,
is if you were always chasing and pursuing him,
and now suddenly you went a bit quiet,
right, Luna?
So, he might check in on you after a while
to see does he still got it.
Are you still into him?
The good thing is,
that it's not as bad as it sounds,
because if a guy's checking in with you,
and he's trying to flatter you
and kinda see, "does he still got it?"
What you can do is start to behave higher value,
and let him pursue you.
Show self-respect,
stop behaving masculine by pursuing him,
and let him do the work.
A lot of times,
guys do get intrigued by that,
'cause they don't understand
how come you just suddenly fell out of love with him,
just like that.
He'll get a bit disappointed,
that maybe he lost his charms.
And he might try to prove to himself
that he's still got it.
This is where you get your chance to behave high value
and let him fall for you instead.
And how to be a woman of high value?
Check out my video right here.
Number four,
why he could possibly be coming back,
is because he still has some feelings for you.
So, maybe he does not see you as a perfect fit,
but he did see some good qualities in you
when he was in a relationship with you,
and now, after a pull away,
he's remembering the good times that you guys had together,
and he's kinda trying to rethink the relationship again,
and thinking like, would it be worth a try?
So, he's coming back to you one step at a time,
to see, are you worth it to give it another shot?
He may not offer a relationship with you straightaway,
because you guys did have some problems,
but he might offer to kinda slowly date,
and see how things go.
And the reason he would offer something like that,
is to see, have you changed?
Have you "fixed" those things
that were unattractive to him before?
If you feel like you're in this situation,
and you have been watching my videos,
you've found your value behaviors,
now would be your chance
to fix those things within yourself,
to give it another shot with him by taking it slow,
and seeing where it develops.
Number five, why men come back,
it could also be
because he really, really, really wants you back.
Maybe you guys had a really, really perfect relationship.
Maybe you were behaving really high value,
and he was crazy in love with you,
but perhaps something happened.
Maybe he really messed up somewhere.
Maybe he started to play too many games,
went "crazy" around the town,
thinking that he's gonna find someone better than you.
He has not done that,
and now he is coming back to you at full force,
wanting you back,
as a serious girlfriend,
proposing to you,
or even offering marriage to you.
Sometimes men that date high-value women,
they assume that "they just got" lucky,
and that perhaps there are many women like that.
So, sometimes, you do need to break up with them,
so they can experience other type of girls.
And so, in a way, he kinda needed to "lose you"
to understand what a diamond you were
in a pile full of stones.
Of course, if you still want him back, or not,
then it's totally up to you,
because now the ball will be in your court.
Number six,
the other reason why men come back,
is he could be coming back from a pull away
which had nothing to do with you.
Well, in some way,
it probably did actually have to do a lot with you,
but not because you were behaving inappropriately,
or not because you were behaving not high value.
When guys have a lot of kinda loving time together,
like they do enjoy it,
but at the same time,
their testosterone levels drop.
When their testosterone levels drop,
they cannot be with you at this time,
because they don't enjoy being with you at this time.
That's where testosterone level is on a low,
so what they need,
they need to remove themselves from you,
and increase their testosterone level,
by doing basically manly things.
And by doing these things, testosterone level goes up,
this is when he feels good, and happy to pursue you,
and spend some quality time with you again.
Ladies, when a guy pulls away from you from time to time,
don't freak out.
Don't panic.
Actually, look at it as it's something good,
because if he will stay with you,
he's not gonna be the best version of himself.
He may not even enjoy keep spending time with you,
because his testosterone will be on a low.
If he's really self-aware as a man,
and when his testosterone is on a low,
he goes and spends some time with his boys,
and does lots of manly things,
when his testosterone will go up,
he's gonna be back in no time, pursuing you again.
So, when a guy takes his space,
give it to him.
Long-term, the person that this is gonna benefit is you,
as you're gonna be the one
that's going to be swept off their feet over, and over,
and over again after these pull aways.
Number seven where guys may come back,
is when he is coming back after his power game,
or boundary-setting.
So, perhaps you guys had an argument,
and maybe you were right, he was wrong,
but he didn't want to admit it.
So, instead, he gave you a bit of a power game,
"a boundary,"
or a silent treatment for some amount of time,
maybe couple of days,
maybe a week,
perhaps even two weeks,
because he was trying to show who is the boss here.
He was trying to win the argument, even if he was wrong.
Guys do do that quite a lot.
Not all men,
but many men do that,
and I actually have a really good video
for you to check out,
and it is about punish her with two weeks of silence.
And you can find that video
just by following the link right here,
so you will know exactly what I am talking about.
Anyway, my point is, if he was wrong, and you were right,
you need to stick to this "power game,"
and not chase after him,
and not fall for his manipulation,
and come after him when he is in the wrong,
because if you will do that,
you will give him the green light to basically abuse you,
walk all over you,
mistreat you, and so on,
because he will see you as somebody
that doesn't respect or value herself.
As you are going after someone,
or submitting to someone
that does not align with your values,
or who does not respect your opinion,
you're submitting to that person
because you love them so much,
and you're trying to please them.
This, my ladies, does not give you any respect.
If you will "win" this power game,
he will probably be coming back after you
with full-on respect for you,
and some strategies on how to sweep you off your feet.
Number eight reason why men come back is,
guys sometimes pull away when they have big issues.
So, perhaps he has big work problems,
or maybe a family member passed away.
Like a big issue that came up,
and he needs to deal with that.
Usually, what guys do when a big issue comes up,
they want to pull away from you,
so, they go into their cave,
either to take some time off,
or to sort their problems by themselves.
They actually need to remove themselves from you,
and what they need from you is to trust them
that they can sort those problems by themselves.
Of course, you can say to him,
"Look, if you need anything, just let me know."
But this is as far as I would go.
Don't chase after him,
giving him suggestions,
and nurturing him, and so on.
In fact, your nurturing is all great,
but your nurturing should be applied not to your guy,
but when you have kids.
Women nurture children.
They don't nurture men, right?
If you are a mother, you nurture your child,
you nurture your baby.
That's why, maybe, his mom is still nurturing him,
but you are not his mother,
therefore you don't nurture him.
But if you have children, you nurture your children.
Ladies, in order to have a good, healthy relationship
with a guy,
you actually need to see this difference,
and understand that,
'cause if he needs to pull away from you,
and you're running after him, nurturing him,
he's gonna be really, really put off,
because you're not behaving like his girlfriend
who trust him, and respect him,
but you're behaving like his mom.
And instead of coming back to you
after taking his cave time,
he might actually start to pull away further from you.
Number nine,
the other reason that men come back,
or why men come back,
is, a lot of times, guys pull away when they are sick.
When a guy is sick, a lot of times,
what they want is just for you to give him space,
so he can rest.
So, all he wants to do is to be left alone.
Whereas women, when we are sick, we want the nurturing,
we want to see that the guy cares about us,
like jumps round us a little bit, and so on, right?
'Cause we love safety and security.
However, when a guy's sick, it's better to leave him to it.
Of course, if he asks for help,
or he asks you to do something,
you should be there for him,
but if he doesn't ask,
the only thing you could do,
like you could just say,
"Look, if you need anything, let me know."
But alpha guys, usually they just take their time,
they disappear,
they look after themselves,
and they just rest, when they are sick.
And they actually really appreciate you
when you let them rest without being needy, calling,
texting, or actually wanting to chat with him.
Some men that don't understand women that much,
this is what they do to women as well.
When a woman is sick and she tells a guy,
"Look, I'm sick," right,
she's expecting him to be like,
"Oh, do you need some medicine?
Shall he bring you chicken soup?"
Blah, blah, blah.
This is what she's usually expecting him to do.
Instead, what a lot of women get,
they usually get space from him,
because he's giving her time to rest,
rest in order to feel better.
Whereas, because this is not what she's expecting from him,
a lot of women, they feel abandoned when they are sick
by their boyfriend,
because we don't understand,
how can you give me space when I am sick?
When in a woman's mind,
you should be there for me,
giving me the chicken soup to make me feel better.
Just basically differences between men and woman,
that we all should know about
in order to understand each other better,
rather than assume the worst.
Ladies, if you would like to know more
about differences between men and women,
from my playlist right here.
Number 10, where guys come back,
is some guys actually they have a timeframe.
So, if you guys broke up,
and you did have quite a good relationship,
but there were, let's say, some issues,
and initially he's thinking,
"Oh, I'll be over her in no time,"
and then a couple of days later,
he still realizes that the feelings are still strong,
but he's like, "Oh, it's just a 'breakup.'
These things happen, but I will be over her in no time."
And then a couple of weeks later, he's still like,
"Ooh, I still kind of feel like I miss her.
I want to be with her."
What guys do a lot in these type of situations,
they give themselves a timeframe.
So, he might think, "Okay, let's be logical.
This is a breakup,
usually people get 'over' someone
that they were not in love with
in about a month, two months, maximum, and that's it."
So, what he might do,
he might give himself a timeframe that,
"Okay, let's see how I feel about her
in a couple months time."
So, whether it's two months, three months, or four months,
if, after that timeframe is gone,
he still feels like he has these strong feelings for you,
he might be coming back after you,
pursuing you again,
and giving the relationship a second chance.
So, ladies, these were my 10 reasons why men come back.
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And thank you so much for watching.
Kisses from Dorset.
Mwah.