-Welcome, welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show," everybody.
Thank you so much for watching. Thanks for being here.
Well, guys, everyone is still talking about
Oprah's special with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
And today, Buckingham Palace
finally responded with a statement.
Listen to this.
-"The whole family is saddened to learn
the full extent of how challenging the last few years
have been for Harry and Meghan.
The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning.
While some recollections may vary,
they are taken very seriously and will be addressed
by the family privately."
-Just to be clear, the news anchor didn't see
the note up top that said, "Read through gritted teeth."
For those who aren't fluent in "palace-speak,"
they're basically saying, "We're sorry you feel this way."
The statement would have sounded more sincere
if they didn't end it with, "So...we good?
Okay. Alright, we're going to split, so we're good.
It's cool."
Meanwhile, CBS is begging Oprah to do another two-hour special
on Harry and Meghan's response to the response.
So that's interesting.
Yeah, if Buckingham Palace is just learning
the full extent of Harry and Meghan's feelings now,
wait until they find out what's
been going on with Prince Andrew.
And in "making the story all about you" news,
Piers Morgan, who faced backlash over harsh comments
about Harry and Meghan,
will depart his show, "Good Morning Britain."
I think it was time.
Take a look at how his last day went.
-You don't like Meghan Markle.
You've made it so clear a number of times on this program.
A number of times. You continue to trash her.
-Okay, I'm done with this. -No, no, no.
-Sorry. No. -Oh, do you know what??
-Sorry. You can track her maybe, not my --
-No, no, no. -See you later.
-I'm being -- -Sorry, can't do this.
-This is absolutely diabolical behavior.
-That's real? -Yep.
Piers quit while the rest of the anchors were like,
"No, wait, stop."
I like how the desk is so big
that his walkout took like 15 seconds.
[ British accent ] "Sorry. Sorry about that.
Nope, sorry. Can't do it. I just -- Sorry.
I just -- Wait.
Wait a moment till I catch my breath.
Alright, sorry. Here we go.
Absolutely. No, can't do it."
[ Normal voice ] That's right -- after months of criticizing
Meghan Markle for making an emotional exit,
Piers stormed off stage in an emotional exit.
That's right -- Piers is leaving,
and he asked to be taken in by Tyler Perry
and given full security.
That's right -- everybody's still talking about
the Harry and Meghan special, but in the U.K.,
people were shocked by something else during the interview.
Watch this.
-Viewers in Britain apparently shocked at the amount of
drug commercials on American TV.
In England, it's illegal to advertise prescription drugs.
-One British viewer posting, "Help.
Why are all American ads about medicines?"
-And another wrote, "I can't understand why
American TV ads are like, 'Ask your doctor for...'
Why would you be the one to tell a doctor
what medicine to give you?"
-When they heard, Americans were like,
"Oh, if you have a problem with that,
ask your doctor about Adoravan."
In our defense, half our commercials are
for fast food and soda, so it makes sense
the other half are for medicine.
Americans are so used to these commercials,
we use the list of drug side effects
as a white-noise machine at night.
It's like, "May cause abdominal cramps, enflamed retinas,
nosebleeds, soreness of..."
[ Snoring ]
Meanwhile, every member of the royal family is like,
"Actually, that Xanax sounds pretty good right now."
But Buckingham Palace isn't the only place
dealing with a major scandal.
Listen to what's going on at The White House right now.
-President Biden's two German shepherds are back in Delaware.
Sources tell CNN the dogs were removed from The White House
yesterday after a biting incident involving
a member of the security team.
-Okay.
Now, these are the types of Washington scandals I've missed.
There you go.
Dog.
Apparently, Major was jumping, barking, and charging at people.
Wow. You'd think after the last four years,
The White House staff would be used to that.
Yep, the biting incident came out of nowhere.
I mean, who knew a 90-pound German attack dog
would present a danger?
When Major heard he was going back to Delaware,
he was like, "No, please, a kennel, the pound,
anything, just not Delaware."
Yep, Major and Champ have left The White House,
and Sunday night, they're sitting down with Oprah
to discuss where it all went wrong.
Major really must have messed up,
because look at what was spotted
outside The White House earlier today.
This is real. Can we zoom in? Look at that.
Rudy Giuliani was like, "Hey, that's my old bed."
Then Dr. Fauci was like, "What? That's my old bed."
Then Eric and Don Jr. were like, "No, that's our old bed."
Some entertainment news.
Yesterday, "Zack Snyder's Justice League"
leaked on HBO Max for about an hour
and played when people tried to watch "Tom and Jerry."
They fixed the problem, but if you missed it,
we have a special sneak peek of the film.
Take a look.
♪♪
-♪ If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman? ♪
♪♪
-Not what I expected, but...
This is cool.
Over in Japan, they're about to open
the new Super Nintendo World theme park.
The park was supposed to open last year,
but construction got delayed
when the plumbers kept getting high on mushrooms.
It looks amazing.
They have a real-life Bowser's Castle,
and every day, Princess Peach escapes
and then does a prime-time interview with Oprah.
And, finally, speaking of video games,
I read that Sony wants to develop a new gaming technology.
Listen to this.
-Sony has reportedly filed a patent to turn food products,
like bananas and other household items,
into PlayStation controllers.
The goal is to use a camera to map out
virtual buttons on any object.
-It's going to be weird when your friend is like,
"Yeah, I'll meet up with you after school.
I just got to go home first and play with my banana."