(sleigh bells ring)
(bell rings)
- All right class, welcome.
Why don't we go around the room
and talk a little bit about why we're all here.
(light upbeat music)
Not everybody all at once.
- Hello, my name is Paulo and I am here
so that I can understand my son.
- Welcome.
- Hey, my name is Stanley.
I'd like to figure out what my girlfriend sub-Tweets me.
- Hi, I'm Will.
I'm a Libra.
West Philadelphia born and raised.
And I'm here to learn how to promote my
new movie, Bright, on the internet.
- I'm Gabby and I'm here for the bingo.
- Okay, all right, listen.
The internet can be a scary place
if you don't know the language, okay?
Make one bad move and that's it.
Hashtag your name is over party trending on Twitter.
Yeah, I've seen it happen before.
So let's start with the basics, okay?
Compliments.
Will, let's say your daughter has a new hairstyle, okay?
How do you tell her you like it?
- Something like, "Hey baby girl,
"love the do, you look pretty."
- "You look pretty," that's cute.
And then she runs away from home because
your words mean nothing.
Okay, wrong, compliments on the internet
need to be aggressive.
- Like the insurance company.
- Okay, no, that's Progressive.
Aggressive, like, you know, "Girl, wrap
"those braids around my neck and whip
"'em back and forth until I turn
"blue enough to be called Papa Smurf."
- I'm sorry, so you mean to tell me,
so people wouldn't be offended by that.
- Lesson two, no on is offended on the internet.
Everyone is offendedt.
- Tuh, tuh.
- Tuh.
- Tuh, tuh.
- Tuh.
- So everybody spells it wrong.
- They don't spell it wrong, they spell it with passion.
Adding t to the end of any word makes it better.
Attacked-t, snatched-t.
- Internet-t.
- internet already ends with a t, so you see that?
You can't have the two t's it doesn't work.
- Oh, I'll have a t.
- My girlfriend is always tweeting about spilling the t.
How can I help her be less clumsy?
- Clumsy-t.
- Let's get back on track, I think
we're off the rails a little bit.
Let's just, eyes up here, eyes up here.
Because there is one major thing
that is offensive on the internet.
A big N-O.
Never, ever, insult the K-pop group, BTS.
Or the fandom will drag you.
- Fandom, that's cute.
So what is that, like a couple of people
who are part of the same chat or group or something?
- Let's just say, you'd be safer in I am Legend sis.
- I'm a man, don't you mean bro?
- Sis is gender neutral on the internet.
Everyone's a sis, you're a sis.
You're a sis, you're a sis, everyone's a sis.
- All right.
- Unless you're hella fine, in which case you're daddy.
- That's me.
- Also known as zaddy.
- Maybe that's me.
You saw me in Men in Black right?
- Unless you're someones idol because then you're their mom.
- So if I'm a zaddy mom, then my fandom is full of my sons?
- Full of your stans.
A fan is called a stan.
- Present.
- No, no Stanley, we're not taking attendance right now.
I'm just letting you all know that a fan is a stan.
- Cat in the Hat.
- No, Paulo we're not rhyming right now sis.
You get that we're not rhyming, right?
Just a fan is a stan.
- Not rhyming, I am sorry.
- You don't need to be sorry, I'm just letting you know.
- Not sorry?
- That's okay.
- No, I am sorry.
- I get it, but you don't need to be sorry.
- So, no sorry.
- Do you do private classes?
- I no sorry.
- I heard some kids the other day
talking about sliding into the PM's.
So that means like, coming home late, right?
Something like that?
- PM's?
- Well yeah, it's like, "Yo, I gotta go home.
"It's getting late, sliding into those PM's."
- Well, PM's also spells PMS.
So we don't wanna slide into that.
(he murmurs)
Sliding into those DM's though, you know.
That means direct messaging, someone
trying to get jiggy with it.
♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪
- Oh, okay, trying to get textually active.
(she snaps)
- Bingo!
- Gosh darn it.
- Any questions?
- Yeah, why is there a person holding a camera on my face?
- Oh, just ignore that.
Just shooting a little behind the scenes for my channel.
He's my BTS guy.
- BTS videos are lame.
(room shakes and rumbles)
- What have you done?
- [Group] Ahhhhhhh!
- Drag him.
- He's canceled.
- [Group] World star, world star, world star!
- World star!
- Hashtag Stanley is over party trending on Twitter.
That was quick.
- Should we help him?
- Nah, he'll be fine.
The internet has an hour of like, 96 hours.
Remember coney?
- What?
- Exactly, one more thing.
If you look good, you're a snack.
If you're like a couple, you ship them
and they're your OTP.
If you're sassy, you're a sav-id.
That usually leaves people a little shook.
Especially if you serve that t in small dose,
you know what I mean?
Sprinkle it just a little, like salt bae, like?
- Okay, a little salt bae.
How can I promote my movie?
- Well, what does the word Bright mean?
- Not dark.
- I guess you could say, it's lit.
- Ahhhhh!
(upbeat music)
- Lit-t, with a t at the end.
- Because it has two t's.
- He don't get it.
- It doesn't work, it's already a t.
- Not paying attention.
- Snap, crackle, pop!
Look who I shot a video with!
- Will Smith.
- God damn, check out his new movie, Bright, on Netflix.
Right now, information in the description
as well as his new YouTube channel.
So check that out.
Last collab over there, second blog channel.
Make sure you subscribe because I make
new videos every Monday and Thursday.
One love, zoop!
That is a wrap and zoop!
You the man though.
- Hmmmmm.
- Okay.