You know how frustrating it is to possess key information that would
change a life or be so helpful for someone but they're just not receptive
to receiving it? What do you do when people aren't willing to listen? My name
is Kris Krohn and today i'm going to be sharing with you a set of mastery skills
in this short video that have made me countless millions of dollars and can do
the same for you even if your goal is nothing more than just learning how to
be heard.
So, before we can really talk about what works, let's just make sure we're super
clear on what doesn't work. Number 1, gossip. We're talking about your
character here. If you gossip and you talk bad about people then they know
that the moment they're not with you, they're wondering. Are you going to speak
badly about them? Number 2, people that are judgmental. You know, if you're just
constantly criticizing people and judging them and basically you know,
putting them into other categories and classes and labeling them, that's another
thing that will actually keep people from really wanting to draw influence
from you. You might be funny, they might like you as a human being. But you're not
going to actually wield tremendous influence. Number 3 is so rampant in
society today. Its negativity. Like no one wants to be influenced by someone that
is perpetually that Debbie Downer, negative, just draws upon that energy.
When you get with them, you know they're going to recount the bad things that
just recently happen in their life so that they can keep you abreast of
everything that's not working for them. Not very different from that. It's
complaining. You get the people out there that you're around them, it's just always
the weather's... You know, that "It's too hot out. It's too cold out though. You know,
this isn't going well for me. My car broke down." And there's always something
to whine about. And you know what? People don't want to be influenced by
complainers. If you possess any of this, this is just making a new decision. I'm
done gossiping. I'm done being the Debbie Downer. I'm done with some of the
complaining that I sometimes do. Or talking about people behind their back.
Next, you're going to have your excuses. No one wants to be influenced by someone
that can't take responsibility for their own choices.
Same thing, lying. If you lie, if someone thinks that you're lying, if you get
caught in a lie then there's no trustworthiness there. So, someone doesn't
want to be influenced by you. And if you really want someone to listen to you,
these are deal killers. Number 7, exaggeration. This is your embellishes.
Those are... That are always rounding up. These are the people that are always
trying to make something sound a little bit better than it maybe is. And they're
sugarcoating. And the moment someone smells out a little bit, you know if
they're thinking inside? "I don't trust you." And so all the sudden, there's that
shield there's that defensiveness. And you're going to lose that ability to
influence. But I think probably one of the biggest killers that most people are
not aware of is what I call Myopia. When someone
is myopic, it means that they're egocentric. Just taking their opinion
as truth. They only understand the world very narrowly from their own perspective.
And you know what? People do not like being influenced by someone that has
drunk their own kool-aid. Can you discern the difference between a fact and an
opinion? Well, most people will take an opinion and say, "This is fact." And when
you present opinions as facts, a lot of people all of a sudden they become way
more careful about how they filter your information because they don't want that
strong personality or your opinions to cloud their judgment from actually
making their own decisions. So, let's just get this out of the way. If you carry any
of these with you but you're watching this video because you're like, "Kris, I
want to crush it in my ability to influence people. I want to speak and I
want to be heard." Then ditch these. If you have any of these whatsoever when change
really occurs is when you make a decision. So just make a decision to
change. But you know what? Let's talk about what we really came for. What are
the 4 habits that what absolutely allow you to crush your influence that when
you speak you do get to be heard? Okay, so let's talk about your four habits to
crush influence. How you're going to slay it. Okay, the first one is to understand the
difference between authenticity versus your people pleaser. Now, you understand
the difference between these, right? I mean an authentic person presents
themselves without filters. They communicate simply who they are. But a
people-pleaser, they have a special filter. They're actually saying, "How do
you want me to present myself? Do you want me to dress a certain way? Do you
want me to speak a certain way? Are there certain things I shouldn't talk about
certain things I should?" They become deeply inauthentic. And the thing is most
these people don't know that they're actually doing it. So I want you to ask
yourself. How important is it for you to have people like you. Because if that is
more important to yo,u then there's a good chance you're a people pleaser. And
listen, be a nice kind tactful human being. That's not what we're talking
about. I'm talking about you being a liar. Which means I'm going to chameleon myself
into something that will make it easier for me to get what I want from this
other person. It's just downright manipulation. But authenticity basically
says, "Listen. You can love me, you can hate me. But I'm going to present Who I am really."
And there's something the world is creating today. Authenticity it is
missing so much so the leaders that are the most powerful on the planet today
are your most authentic leaders that people feel this natural magnetic
gravitational pull towards. Because they just like how raw. They're willing to be
vulnerable. They're willing to tell you what sucks. They're willing to tell you
what's amazing. I mean they feed it to you who and how they really are as a
human being. Make the choice if you want to crush it
in influence to be authentic. Okay, next. Integrity versus dishonesty.
Now, I mean something a little bit different when I say dishonest here.
Because I don't mean blatant outright lying. What I'm talking about is this is
my definition of integrity: Do what you say you're going to do. When you speak
and you want to exert influence, if you say you're going to do something, the moment
you do it, you've given them proof that you can say something and do something.
But you see, the moment you say you're going to do something and then you don't do
it, guess what you've done. You've shown that you have the ability to lie to
yourself. Like how often have you told somebody or been in a circumstance where
someone said, "Oh, great. Yeah. Shoot. You email this afternoon." The next day goes
by. The email isn't there and it's not in your spam folder. And you call them up
you're like, "Where's the email?" And you know if they say, "Oh, I forgot. Now, let me
send that to you." They don't have the ability to do what they say they're going to do.
We have natural BS meters in today's world because we're being marketed to 24/7. And
what we want is to feel safe to be who we are around people. And how we create
that safety is when we're around people that we can predict who they're going to be.
We can predict what they're going to do. If you say you're gonna call me in 5
minutes, call me in 5 minutes. Actually, everything you speak, act on it as if
it's literal. Because people are constantly judging. Do you have integrity?
Do you do the things that you say you're going to do? Okay, Next. Number 3, we have
altruism versus egotistical. At the end of the day, ego is always me, me, me. My, my,
my. The mantra is more, more, MORE. And altruism basically says, "Hey, listen. I can
do something for me but I'm also willing to do something for you and I don't have
to get something in exchange." Ego always has an agenda.
Altruism has an intention. There's a big difference between having an intention. I
could talk with someone and then maybe hope they'll join my program but if they
don't, I'm okay. Because my intention is for someone to join my program but it
doesn't have to be you. Ego says, "I know it's best for you. You have to do this."
And the reality is we don't feel safe around people like that. Especially when
greed and this... You know, when... When you can tell that we're really just looking
out for their own self-interest. If you want to be heard, you have to be willing
to do what's in the best interest of somebody else even when it's indirect
opposition to whatever is actually best for you. That wins over trust in a huge
way. And the last of the habits to crush it with influence is knowing how to be
up front versus evasive. You know those people that when you interact with them,
some people just know how to be upfront. They know how to be straightforward. They
know how to be candid. And they don't sugarcoat it. They just filterlessly
tell you how it's going to be. There's something nice about that. I got an email
from a company once that I had made an investment with that we're totally
putting a spin --marketing spin on something that happened bad. And I just
wish they had come out and said, "Hey, this bad thing happened. And here's what we're
going to do about it." It would have been so much more up front. But what they did is
they were absolutely evading what needed to be communicated. And you know what?
People do not appreciate that. They don't like that. As we're talking about how you
exert influence and how you speak in a way that you can finally be heard, we've
talked about the 8 deadly sins that you want to stay away from and speaking.
But we've also talked about the 4 habits for crushing it. Show up with
authenticity, integrity, altruism. And be super upfront with people. If you can put
those four bits of your character into your communication, all of a sudden when
you speak, you are going to be heard. Hey, thanks so much for watching today's
video. I hope it connected with you and gave you some powerful insight on what
you can do to wield a greater influence. In addition, I wanted to share with you
just as a little bonus here. The thing that has helped my influence more than
anything has been information that's in a book that I just wrote. This book is
actually a best-seller. It's called Limitless. And this book is
all about how you reformat your belief system to become
this human being. This is well how do you become authentic. How do you actually
step into deeper integrity. How do you become more altruistic or diminish ego
or how do I learn how to be more candid. And at the end of the day, there's some
really powerful psychological tricks that I leverage to essentially beast
myself into the most ideal potential version of Who I am. And it's all found
here in this book limitless. I spent a couple million dollars of research
actually writing this book, working with mentors to craft this knowledge that
can't be found anywhere else on the planet. And I always produce enough extra
copies of this that I can make it available for free to my friends as long
as we've got excess. And right now my friend, we do have access. So if you click
the link below, cover the shipping and I will actually get this book in the mail
to you. And I'll tell you this: If you like this video, it pales in comparison
to how life-changing the information in this book really is. If I could go in
Time Machine myself back you know, 15 years to the beginning and give myself
one thing like Biff got the Almanac, this for me would be the Almanac to having
the most success and the most happiness in life.
So, I look forward to this being on your desktop being read and an impacting you
in just incredible ways. How's that for influence. Love you friend. Hopefully you
are a subscriber and if so I will see you on tomorrow's video.
you