Paul: Hi I'm Paul Lucy: Hi I'm Lucy
Helen: Hi I'm Helen and I'm a Childline counsellor
Paul: And today we're asking 'how do I know if I'm being groomed'?
P: So if you've been watching Corrie lately you'll know that Bethany Platt played by Lucy Fallon has been involved in an upsetting grooming
storyline. In Corrie erm, your character Bethany is being groomed by Nathan. She believes she's
in a loving relationship with Nathan but gradually over time his behaviour is becoming more and
more controlling and he's making her do things that she might feel uncomfortable with. Can
you talk us through a bit of the sort of stages of the relationship that your character Bethany
has been going through? L: Yeah, so erm, at first obviously Bethany
was quite a vulnerable girl when she first met Nathan and he showered her with lots of
affection. He bought her a phone, he bought her quite a lot of recording equipment to
make YouTube videos. She felt like she had really built a lot of confidence so then when
they got in a relationship things started to become a lot more controlling like you
said. He stopped her from seeing her Mum. He's stopping her from seeing her friends.
All she wants to do is spend time with him and that's kind of where we're up to at the
moment. P: So Bethany's becoming more and more isolated
from her friends and family... L: Yeah, so the only person she wants to spend
time with is him and he's kind of forced that upon her.
P: So Helen what are some of the signs that young people need to be aware of in terms
of spotting grooming behaviours? H: These situations can start off really nicely
and it can be a really good situation to start with so this person might be showering you
with attention sort of like what you were saying previously. They might buy you things,
erm, take you to parties, make you feel really special. What's also really important is that
person might make you feel like they can relate to you; like they understand you; like they
might be able to relate to your problems. Especially if you're in a situation in your
life where you might be vulnerable, which, you know, that happens to all of us.
P: So you can then become dependent on them emotionally and then also if they're giving
you gifts, drugs, alcohol, money even. H: If they are giving you things it sometimes
might make you feel obligated to them. It might make you feel like you need to do things
for them or for other people that you're not comfortable with and that could be, you know,
things of a sexual nature that you don't feel ready for.
P: So what are some of the things that groomers might make you do as the relationship goes
on; when they become more controlling? L: They might get you to perform sexual acts
on themselves or others like in Bethany's case she's been sort of told that she has
to sleep with a character called Neil. H: It's things like sending sexual messages;
sending sexual images; being made to perform perhaps sexual acts on a webcam that you don't
feel comfortable with or ready for, erm, it can be any of those sorts of things.
P: A groomer can be a man or a woman and they can be any age; old or young. So we're not
talking about a specific type of person. So it's these behaviours that are important to
look out for erm, you know, a groomer can be from any background. Obviously your character
Bethany, she doesn't know she's being groomed but there have been moments where she's been
a bit uncomfortable or been questioning what's going on but Nathan's used techniques to sort
of take that away from her... L: Yeah so obviously after Bethany was with
Neil, erm, she knew that that wasn't right and she was so confused and she just, she
thought that Nathan would be really shocked and annoyed but he wasn't, erm so she just
was really confused and didn't know what was going on and erm, then she wanted to go home
and she kept going back to her Mum and was trying to sort of; wanted to tell her but
couldn't because she was scared and then out of the blue Nathan proposes to Bethany erm,
so then Bethany kind of switches off from what had happened and now she's just focused
on this and she's like well obviously he loves me because he's just proposed to me and that's
like the most important thing you could do in a relationship with somebody. Quite a lot
of people don't know that they're being groomed and that's ok because quite a lot of people
think that they're in a loving relationship which is fine because it might seem that way
but obviously as time goes on they can be put in a more vulnerable and dangerous situation.
P: Helen would you agree? - it's never the young person's fault, I think that's a really
important point. H: Yeah I think, if anything, I think that
might be the most important point to make - it's never a young person's fault even if
you feel like you're in a loving relationship. If you are being made to do things or tricked
into doing things that you're not comfortable with that is somebody else manipulating you
rather than anything that you're doing wrong. L: Yeah
H: I think it's so important for young people to know that.
P: And it's not your fault if you don't realise either.
H: I think another thing to mention is that it can happen over a really long period of
time: L: Yeah.
H: When you've built up a trust in a person it's not going to be natural for you to believe
that the person is actively seeking to break that trust.
P: So if you've been watching this video or Bethany's storyline in Corrie and you think
you might be being groomed yourself what should you do. What advice would you have?
H: One of the most important things to know if you feel like this is happening to you
is that there are people that you can tell. You might feel embarrassed or scared and i
think that's perfectly understandable but it's not your fault and there are people out there
who can support you erm, it might be the case that you want to talk to Childline first and
I think that's a really really positive first step. I think it's really important to when
you're ready to tell an adult in your life that you trust erm, and also really important
to know that there are ways of reporting whoever's grooming you also. I mean we do, as well as
getting erm young people coming through who are being groomed, we also get young people
coming through to Childline who are worried about friends and I think it's a really important
step that you've reached out to get support for your friend.
P: So if you're worried you're being groomed Childline is always here for you.
P: Thanks so much guys for coming in today and speaking to us.
L and H: Thank you. P: Really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time.
All: Bye!