Let's, uh, let's take a moment to talk about selfies.
They're the top way to show people
what parts of your body are on fleek.
Uh... yeah, for me personally, it's my elbow.
Uh, or, as I like to call it, my arm-knee.
But, um, as innocent as the selfie craze may seem,
it can have real-world consequences.
And for more on this we're joined by
senior technology correspondent Ronny Chieng, everybody.
-(cheering, applause) -Hey. Hey, everybody.
Thanks, Trevor.
Selfies used to be a harmless way
to show everyone how #blessed your life is.
But as it turned out, looking at pictures of your own head
all the time can actually start to mess with it.
REPORTER:
there's been a surge in lip augmentation procedures,
the love affair with lips
leading to a record number of lip jobs last year.
Doctors say because we see so many images of ourselves,
almost constantly, on social media,
we're much more aware of how our lips look.
Are you serious? People are having surgery to enhance
their lips just to look better in selfies.
What happened to just doing duck face, hmm?
Always works for me.
Yo! No one's judging your lips, okay?
We're judging your double chin and your weird nose.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that why are you stopping
at your lips? Just face your whole fa... fix your whole face.
And not only are selfies blowing up lips,
they're also shrinking bank accounts.
NFL prospect Laremy Tunsil should have been celebrating
being drafted into the NFL last night.
REPORTER:
to the Baltimore Ravens, ended up falling to 13.
That drop right there cost him about
$8 million in salary over the next four years.
REPORTER 2:
a two-year-old video posted
to Tunsil's Twitter account showing him taking
a massive bong hit out of a gas mask.
Come on. How do we even know that's Laremy Tunsil?
It could be anyone! It could be a time-traveling
World War II soldier.
It actually took days of investigative journalism
to figure out his identity.
They had to go through the video frame by frame.
And it also helped that he took
his mask off and showed his face.
Yo,
if you're recording yourself doing something illegal
and you're already wearing a mask,
just leave it on!
That's what masks are for.
Also, why does the NFL even care if players smoke pot?
Oh, oh, wait, I get it.
'Cause marijuana could cause brain damage,
and brain damage is trademarked by the NFL.
(cheering and applause)
But, hey, at least Tunsil was just doing something stupid
and not dangerous, like Snapchatting while driving.
REPORTER:
and 18-year-old Crystal McGee.
Snapchat has a feature called a speed overlay filter,
and it measures how fast users are moving
while they are taking a photo or video.
REPORTER 2:
that an 18-year-old drove more than 100 miles an hour
and crashed into his car while she was using the app.
Snapchat used to be about dick pics, okay?
Now you're encouraging people to take selfies while speeding?
I never thought I'd say this, but, Snapchat,
I liked you better when you were just sending me dicks.
All right? And, well, hey,
at least this woman is okay and she learned her lesson, right?
REPORTER 3:
from Snapchatting. Attorneys say McGee sent out this selfie.
Strapped to a gurney, she types, "Lucky to be alive."
(groaning, laughter)
She sent a Snapchat
right after sending a Snapchat nearly killed her?
That's like having an allergic reaction to shellfish
and then, on the way to the hospital,
swinging by Red Lobster for the Seafood Trio, all right?
Also, what adamantium phone case are you using?
Like, your car gets totaled
and somehow your phone magically survived.
Meanwhile, my phone shatters if I drop it on a pillow.
Unfortunately, selfies aren't just addictive.
According to some people, they are a God-given right.
A South Carolina man learned the hard way
that trying to take a selfie with Amy Schumer
is no laughing matter.
The comedian says that she was scared
when this man ran up to her and started recording video.
I told her this is America. I said in America,
when you see a celebrity, you go and take a selfie.
This is America!
That dude says it like it's in the Constitution, right?
Listen, nowhere does it say, "We hold these truths
to be selfie-evident."
Look, when we see famous people,
we all want to take a selfie with them, all right?
I want to take a selfie with Trevor right now
so I can get a ton of likes, all right?
Not as many likes as if I took it with Amy Schumer
but, hey, still a lot, all right?
But you know what? I resist the urge.
That's what being human is about,
resisting your base impulses, all right?
That's why I'm not humping this desk right now.
So, go ahead
and keep taking selfies.
Just understand there's a time and a place, all right?
And everyone else stop acting like narcissism
is just a millennial thing, okay?
Old people, you would have done the exact same (bleep)
if you had access to the technology.
What's weirder, taking two seconds to snap a selfie
or spending six months painting yourself?
I know.
I mean, look. Look how easy it is to just do one of these.
-Look. -I thought you said you weren't gonna take a sel...
-What are you doing? You're taking a selfie. -Yeah.
I also said I wasn't gonna hump the desk, but, you know what,
you got to do what you got to go, all right? So...
All right. Thank you, Ronny. Ronny Chieng, everyone.