- Let's get this disco ball rolling'.
Now, prance, I said!
(upbeat jazzy music)
(triumphant music)
Act one of "No RuPaulogies", starring team Jinkx Monsoon.
(classical music)
I was born a poor black child.
(baby crying)
My mama, Ernestine swore like a truck driver.
His name is RuPaul Andre Charles,
and he's gonna be a star 'cause ain't another mother (beep)
alive with a name like that. (RuPaul laughing)
And dammit, maybe, just maybe, mama was right.
(classical music)
I loved playing dress up as a kid.
Then one day I saw the Supremes on "The Ed Sullivan Show."
My eye went straight to the girl in the middle.
I couldn't stop watching her.
She was my idol.
And I've been singing Diana Ross songs
in the mirror ever since.
(sweeping orchestral music)
(dramatic piano music)
(triumphant trumpet music)
At 21, my pal, Lady Bunny, and I ran away to New York City.
(triumphant trumpet music)
(laughing)
With a pussycat wig, a pair of cha cha heels and a dream.
We became the toast of the town.
(RuPaul laughing) Well, at least
the lower east side.
And we partied like there was no tomorrow,
and there almost wasn't.
(triumphant music)
(laughing)
(triumphant music)
(RuPaul laughing)
(triumphant music)
(RuPaul laughing) (audience applauds)
- The next team better not slip on all that peeing
on the stage because we pissed all over this competition.
- Act two of "No RuPaulogies" starring team Coco Montrese.
I can't wait to see how this turns out.
(classical music)
Superstardom was so close, I could taste it,
but there was a war raging, a battle between me and myself.
I hit rock bottom.
I had two choices, to die or die trying.
(classical music)
(RuPaul gasps) (audience applauds)
Brava!
Flash forward, the 90s.
(classical music)
You better work.
Supermodel, TV, films,
and then my forever came today.
My idol, Diana Ross, invited me to work with her.
(classical music)
It took me a lifetime to get here,
and honey, I wasn't going anywhere.
(classical music)
(audience applauds)
- Honey was just kind of dead,
and I was carrying around some extra blubber.
(classical music)
- All my dreams have come true.
So I've decided to spread the love
and to find America's next drag superstar.
The charisma uniqueness, nerve and talent is overflowing.
(heavenly triumphant music)
(audience applauds)
(classical music)
♪ Hallelujah ♪
As I watched over my legendary children,
mama is watching over me,
(RuPaul laughing)
whispering in my ear, "Good luck baby,
and don't (beep) it up."
(heavenly music)
(audience applauds) Brava, brava!
- I'm here in the FormDecor lounge,
and the queens are ready to let you have it.
First up, doing the Charleston twerk,
it's Kennedy Davenport and Pearl.
(lively jazz music)
(record scratches)
(hip hop music) ♪ All up in the club ♪
♪ I'm makin' money, money, money, money ♪
♪ Walkin' down the street I'm makin' ♪
♪ Money, money, money, money ♪
♪ When I shake my ass I'm makin' ♪
♪ Money, money, money, money ♪
♪ Even when I sleep I'm makin' ♪
♪ Money, money, money, money ♪
(lively jazz music)
♪ I want your ♪
♪ Money, money, money, money ♪
♪ Money ♪ ♪ Mo, mo, mo, mo ♪
♪ Money, money, money, money ♪
(record winds down)
(lively jazz music)
(audience applauds)
Back in the FormDecor lounge.
We're getting ready for a hoedown.
Dancing the country robot
it's Ginger Minj and Trixie Mattel.
(country music)
(electronic music) ♪ Strawberry, kiwi, peach ♪
♪ Tongue-tied, slur your speech ♪
♪ Cherry, grape, lemon, lime ♪
♪ Lick it slow, take your time ♪
♪ Strawberry, kiwi, peach ♪
♪ Tongues tied, slur your speech ♪
(record winds down)
(country music)
♪ Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop ♪
♪ I'll let you lick it ♪
(electronic music)
♪ Lollipop, lollipop, lollipop ♪
♪ I'll let you lick it ♪
♪ Lollipop, lick, lick, lollipop ♪
♪ Lolli, lolli, lollipop, lollipop ♪
♪ I'll let you ♪
(country music)
(glass shatters)
(audience applauds)
Back in the FormDecor lounge,
grab a Rose and strike a pose.
Doing the tango Vogue, it's Violet Chachki and Katya.
(tango music)
(electronic music)
(tango music)
(electronic music) ♪ Can I get ♪
♪ Can I get it to go? ♪
♪ Can I get, can I get it to go? ♪
(electronic music)
♪ Can I get, can I get it to go ♪
(electronic music)
(record winds down)
(tango music)
(audience applauds)
- It's the "RuPaul's Drag Race" Cheer Battle Extravaganza!
RuPaul's Glamazons versus the B-52 Bombers
(air horn blasting) - Roll call!
- I'm Aja, I'm sassy.
- I'm Nina, I'm assy.
- I'm Shea, I'm flirty.
- I'm Sasha, I'm dirty.
- I'm Charlie, I'm boozy.
- I'm Jaymes, excuse me.
- I'm Alexis, I'm a floozy.
(judges laughing)
- [Glamazons] We are RuPaul's Glamazons,
got our tucking panties on.
Our beat is unstoppable, our wigs are unclockable.
(air horn blasting) - All right, work it.
Work it, all right.
- B-52 Bombers let's go!
I'm Cucu, I'm nutty.
- I'm Kimora, I'm slutty.
- I'm Eureka, I'm wacky.
- I'm Trinity I'm tacky.
- I'm Farrah, thorny.
- I'm Peppermint, I'm corny.
- I'm Valentina, I'm also corny.
(laughing)
- [Bombers] Our lobsters are rockin',
our love is in the shack.
We're roamin' 'cause we wanna,
so haters step back.
- [Glamazons] B-50 who?
Not as cool as Ru.
RuPaul is more fierce than Kate could ever be.
More woman than Fred, and more man than Cindy.
(judges laughing) - RuPaul is shameless
selling candy bars and more.
(gasps) She even had perfume
and it was called Whore.
(laughing)
- Yeah!
- [Glamazons] Your beehives' busted,
your songs are too slow.
You should go retire in a private Idaho.
(groaning and laughing)
- And it's time for the tumbling passes.
(whistle blows)
(electronic music)
(laughing) - Wow.
(electronic music)
(laughing)
- Gag, big girl, come on bitch, yes.
(laughing)
Holy (beep).
I land, and I feel my knee pop,
but I knew there was no way I was stoppin'.
Bitch, I'm on a roll.
(cheering and laughing)
- Well, now that was impressive.
(electronic music)
- Valentina surprised me.
I feel a little bit like, oh my god, I chose her last.
(laughing)
But she came to slay.
(electronic music)
(laughing) - Oh my god.
- Ms. Jaymes, girl.
(electronic music)
(cheering)
(laughing)
- Whoa. - There we go.
- Woo! (air horn blasts)
- Now the ladies will move on to the group dance.
♪ Are you ready ♪
(electronic music)
(judges laughing)
(electronic music)
- Go girls! - Woo!
Hey! - Here we go!
(electronic music)
(groaning and cheering)
- Five, six, seven, eight.
- [All] Glamazons, Bombers, the battle rages on.
This cheer ain't over, now bring it on!
(dramatic music)
- When I get all the way up at the top
I feel like, "Yes, I'm a cheerleader!"
- Oh my god. (screaming)
(laughing)
(dramatic music)
(cheering)
- The judges are gonna have a tough time scoring this one.
I feel bad for them.
Oh wait, I'm a judge, oh.
(triumphant music)
- [RuPaul] Ladies, quick poll.
Raise your hand if you believe in climate change.
(audience clapping)
- [Alyssa] It's real sunny up here,
but I do like a little bit of shade.
(laughing) - Well there you have it.
(cheering) 97% of scientists
and four out of four Drag Race judges agree.
The shade is big.
♪ Is big, is big, is big, is big, is big, is big ♪
(electronic music)
(cheering)
Shade. ♪ Is big ♪
(cheering) - I can't do it
because reading you is like reading the Walt Disney book,
it's simply too easy.
(gentle music)
- I'm fixin' to call you up. - I hate backstabbing bitches
♪ Bitches, bitches ♪ - I'm fixin' to call you up.
(gentle classical music)
- Beauty face! (laughing)
♪ Beauty face, beauty face ♪
- Dumb is forever! (cheering)
♪ Don't be throwin' no shade, sir ♪
(electronic music)
♪ Don't, don't be throwin' no shade, shade ♪
♪ No shade, sir ♪ - All right
(cheering)
- Oh, I see where this is goin'.
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't ♪
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't ♪
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, ♪
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't ♪ (cheering)
(electronic music)
(cheering)
♪ Don't be throwin' no shade, sir ♪
- [RuPaul] And you!
(dramatic music)
(laughing) Legendary you think you are.
(dramatic music)
Looks like leg and dairy. (laughing)
♪ Read, read, read, read ♪
♪ For filth, filth ♪ (cheering)
♪ Read, read, read, read ♪
♪ Read, read, read bitch ♪ (judges moaning)
I want you to read these bitches.
- [Bianca] Not today Satan, not today.
(classical music)
♪ Bitch, you shady bitch ♪
(electronic music) (chanting)
♪ The shade ♪
♪ Bitch, you shady bitch ♪
♪ The shade ♪
♪ Shade, I call shade ♪
♪ Sh, sh, sh, shade, shade, shade ♪
♪ Don't be shady, be a lady ♪
(laughing)
(uplifting music)
- [Aja] You're perfect, you're beautiful,
you look like Linda Evangelista, you're a model.
Everything about you is perfect.
Did you stone those tights?
Oh, you're smiling.
They eat her up every single time.
(electronic music)
(cheering)
- [Jasmine] No tea, no shade, no pink lemonade.
(electronic music)
♪ No, no, no tea, no shade ♪
♪ No, no, no pink lemonade ♪
♪ No, no, no tea, no shade ♪
♪ Aren't we we are all, bitch ♪
(electronic music)
(cheering)
♪ Aren't we all, the shade ♪
(electronic music)
♪ No tea, no shade ♪
♪ Aren't we all ♪
♪ The shade, the shade ♪
(laughing and cheering)
(triumphant music)
- You know, we as gay people, we get to choose our family.
We get to choose the people that we're around.
You know what I'm sayin'?
(laughing)
I am your family.
We are a family here.
I love you.
(fans snap)
- [Vivacious] Mother has arrived!
(uplifting music) ♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
(uplifting music)
(cheering) ♪ Because I am what ♪
♪ Because I am what ♪
(cheering)
(fans snapping)
(cheering)
(fan snapping)
- [Adore] Ganja, I didn't wanna make it
that everybody was attacking you!
(frenetic music)
- [Laganja] I feel very attacked!
(frenetic music)
(cheering)
♪ Oo, girl ♪
♪ She already done had herses ♪
(cheering)
(electronic music)
(laughing and cheering)
(electronic music)
(cheering)
- [Jasmine] You gotta pop them corns so the kids can eat.
(funky music)
♪ Gotta pop them corns ♪
(funky music)
♪ Gotta pop, pop, to feed the children ♪
(triumphant music)
(judges laughing)
- [Pearl] Is there something on my face?
- [Valentina] I'd lik to keep it on please.
(electronic music)
(laughing) ♪ Please ♪
♪ Please ♪ (electronic music)
♪ I'd like to keep it on ♪
(electronic music)
♪ Please, please ♪
(electronic music)
♪ I'd like to keep it on ♪
- [Tammie] And I don't see y'all out there
walkin' children in nature.
(electronic music)
(cheering)
♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪
♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪
♪ Bitch, I am from Chicago ♪
(cheering and clapping)
(electronic music)
(cheering)
- Boo, who cares? - I want people
to realize that it's okay to make mistakes.
It's okay to fall down.
Get up, look sickening, and make them eat it.
♪ Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it ♪
(electronic music)
(cheering)
♪ Eat it ♪
(cheering and clapping)
♪ Feed, feed, feed, feed ♪
- [Jasmine] Feed the children.
(laughing and cheering)
(indistinct chanting)