"Wanna go skinny dipping?"
"I'm tired."
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
"Hello again"
This week we're looking at off-the-wall wierdity - The Pit.
"It better be good."
Tthe film follows twelve-year-old loner Jamie
"Is he crazy?"
More Creepy
"Do you like washing me?"
Jamie has the normal interests of a 12-year-old boy.
"What do you want me to do?"
Although, he does go a touch too far by for instance
faking a ransom call to get a local librarian to strip.
"right, damn you. You want to see my body?"
But it's not all his fault. He is being urged on by a horny teddy bear
"She'll get undresseed and go into the bathroom."
"Just give her a minute."
"I'm gonna look at these a lot."
jamie's parents have to go away for a while and despite knowing their son has issues
"Only a weirdo stuff like this."
They decide the best thing to do is hire the
prettiest live-in babysitter they can find.
"Here you are."
"Thank you."
Just some stellar parenting there
So, creepy not really dark corners territory.
"I think I'm gonna tell her about the things, The secret."
This film really could be called everything happens to Jamie
Alongside his distant parents, hot nanny, problems in school
and a teddy bear who is a sexual predator
he also discovers a family a prehistoric troglodytes
living in a hole in the woods are
and starts to feed them
"That's a lot of meat you know?."
"well it is for five... people."
"Come one cow"
Unsuccessfully at first.
But then...
"Then there is only one thing left isn't there."
That bear is just enabling him.
"There it is, just like I told you."
Jamie realizes he can use the trogs to get revenge on those
who have wronged him
"Have you ever wondered why haven't got any friends?"
Which is all very well but fucks sake
they're not just gonna walk into a hole.
"My aunt will call the police on yoooooooou!"
Oh, apprently they are.
"Here it comes."
"arrrrrgh!"
Although he does make more of an effort for one of his victims
"Arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh"
Slowest kidnap ever
I sort of feel like someone would hear this and make enquiries
"arrrrrghhhh!"
Jamie does decide to stop killing people, but instead he does this
"You're gonna have to take care of yourself"
Right.
"That makes sense."
I would say not.
I'd also say it suggests that the trogs only be down there all this time
waiting for someone to throw them a rope.
It's not like there isn't a good idea at the center of the pit
"I'll take your word for it."
The problem is there's two
"Well if it isn't clumsy stupid."
A disconnected childlike Jamie having a talking teddy bear
who enables his bad behavior is a plot.
"Yes...."
The same child meeting prehistoric monsters and releasing them on on an unsuspecting town
also a plot.
"It is isn't funny you know."
But bear and trogs are not connected.
it's pure coincidence that all this happens to Jamie
and I know what your thinking,
surly the voice of the bear is in his head.
I mean it's obviously his voice.
Nope. It's Alive
"It baffles me sir"
but it was never meant to be nor in fact with the Troggs.
"Teddy was right!"
Apparently the original script had both as Jamie's imagination
which makes much more sense and is much more interesting
"Distressing"
I can only assume that somewhere down the line someone decided that random attacks
"Roar"
gore
And a pretty one-sided monster hunt
"Shoot them!"
Were the better way to go.
"The way I see it, two and two equals four"
On the off chance that person is watching...
you were wrong.
If you've got a film you'd like us review leave a comment below
click here to subscribe here to see more reviews
if you'd like to take your chance in the Dark Dorners Mystery Box Of Death
click down there.