Right, gather round everybody - I want you
to try my new recipe - ostrich lasagne.
Ostrich!?
As in the very tall bird?
Yes, and a very healthy and
lean meat to eat. Now, would you like to try
some or is it too sophisticated for
you, Peter?
No, I, I'd love to try some.
Mmm, delicious - very ostrichy.
Tastes a bit like chicken.
Something of an aftertaste - it's a bit like
mouldy cheese.
I am sick to death of your comments
Celia. I'm trying to create a new menu as
you asked me to.
Oh, sorry, I...
...I feel a bit off colour.
Gordon, that's not a good sign.
Actually, I feel a bit queasy.
Sorry Gordon -
something's not quite right.
Is this some kind of sick joke?
No, no sick joke... oh, I need to dash.
Typical! I'm sick of this. I tried to make them
something new and they just make a fuss.
Smells all right to me.
Waiter! Waiter!
All right, keep your hair on. We'll be there
in a minute. Oh look at this kitchen now I've
got to cook clean and serve.
Honestly, you won't get this at The Poison Ivy.
Something in that made me as sick as a
dog.
Well, I'm as sick as a parrot. I've been
preparing this all morning
Parrot? Did you put parrot instead of
ostrich?
No he didn't Peter!
It was certainly ostrich. Look it's a
week out of date.
Waiter!
It's quiet without Gordon today.
It's nice isn't it ?
He said he was going for a fitting.
I'm not sure what for though.
Oh, here he comes now.
Good morning, Gordon. Bad hair day?
Excuse me?
Keep your hair on!
Oh, don't forget we've got some students
coming in for lunch today, so none of
your old-fashioned dishes. Give them
something contemporary, modern.
Leave it to me. I'm down with the kids.
You got it covered?
Yes I have. Oh, I see you're referring to
this - my new toupee - my wig.
I'm just keeping up with the fashion.
What fashion is that then?
Oh, my new hairstyle. These are all the
rage - the women love it.
After a fashion.
I thought that wigs were a bit old hat!
And if you're gonna cook in that then
wear it under this hat - for now.
I knew you two couldn't handle my new
fashion statement.
You're being a fashion victim. We liked
the old you.
Well, you're stuck with a new me now.
Just leave me to cook.
Oops, looks like you've made a fashion faux pas!
There appears to be hair in the soup!
Hair in the soup? Keep your voice down,
everyone will want one.
Thanks for your attention everyone.
Now, as you know, I attended a
conference yesterday and one of the
great ideas I learnt was giving
members of staff the opportunity to
experience what other members of
staff do.
Oh, you mean a job swap?
So, one of you lot's gonna try doing my job?
Impossible.
I want you to see what it feels like
to be in someone else's shoes.
But I wouldn't fit in your shoes.
Not literally, Peter. It's just to understand
what other people do. I'll take your job
and you can take mine - and Mary and
Gordon, you can swap jobs too.
Now, I'll take some orders. Can I have
your notepad please, Peter?
Very well.
Actually, from where I'm standing it
seems like I've got the easy job.
We'll see about that.
So, everyone back to work please.
Come on Gordon, we need all these
plates washed.
I have an order: four seasons vegetable
ragu for two people.
Coming right up.
Gordon, I need some large bowls
washing and I need that pan - come on
quick as you can.
I hear you.
Well done Mary. You're doing a great job.
Actually, could you spare me a thought?
I've got to do all this.
Hmm.
I can see where you're coming from.
You can't cope.
You're fired. Off you go.
You can't do that.
Peter - take some pity on him.
He's after all, only a washer-upper.
So, how's the job swap going?
He sacked me!
Well done. I've been trying to do that
for months. How's it going for you
Mary?
Yes, all fine. All the food's ready to go.
I don't know why Gordon makes such a
fuss about cooking.
Nor do I.
You see in my job, I have to show empathy
for people. So, Gordon, you can stay -
for now.
So, I was at the bus stop and then I decided
to walk, but these shoes they're just not
designed for... oh! What's this?
Goodness - it looks like Gordon has
finally pulled out all the stops and
actually made something amazing!
Must be the bake off competition.
Always makes an effort when there's something to win.
The first prize is 500 pounds.
Hi Gordon. Fantastic cake.
Cake! what cake?
This one. Did you make it for the competition?
The bake off? The first prize is 500 pounds.
Oh! The competition. Yes, that's my cake.
It's rather good isn't it? Yes, I think the
attention to detail....
...will put me ahead of the game.
It's amazing how much effort you can put in
when there's big money up for grabs.
It's not about the money Celia, but this should
really blow the competition away.
Well, don't forget you'll be in competition
with some of the best bakers in the business.
Don't worry about that. Now, I better just
go and put this in a box so we can send
it off to the judges. We don't want to miss
the deadline.
May the best man win.
Best man? Is someone getting married?
No, I was just wishing him luck for the
bake off competition.
Oh, is he entering too? I've been baking all
night to make a cake for the competition.
I've put it over... here. Has anyone seen my
cake?
Was it a chocolate cake with a cream top?
Yes.
Gordon, I think you've got Peter's cake.
Yes, I was, err, going to help him deliver it.
There you go... Peter. Erm, nice cake.
Probably needs a little bit more cream.
Thank you.
You win some, you lose some - and this
time you definitely lost.
It's quiet tonight.
I know...
and it's a bit of a worry.
Celia said tonight was our last hope.
If we don't get any customers we might have
to close.
Well, don't get your hopes up. This place
has been on its knees ever since it
opened. We've all had a laugh but I need
to get a job at a proper restaurant,
where the customers are queuing up to
eat my food.
Don't pin your hopes on it. It was your
cooking that scared the customers away, anyway.
Oh, did I just hear somebody come in?'
I'll go and check.
To be honest, I might be able to take you
with me to my new job, but Peter - not a chance.
I can only live in hope.
Yes, we've got two customers and they
want a cheese and tomato pizza.
Can we do pizzas?
Can we do pizzas? Not a hope in hell.
Do I look like a chef who cooks pizzas?
Oh come on Gordon. We're pinning our
hopes on keeping these customers.
You do know how to cook a pizza, don't you?
Yes, well it's just a little bit beneath me -
but I suppose I can give it a go.
Good. I'll tell Celia the good news.
Peter. Here's 10 pounds. Run to the
supermarket and buy some frozen pizzas -
but - ssshhh - it's our little secret.
OK.
Something smells good.
Great news about getting all the
customers in - even though they only like
pizza. Seems like there's a glimmer of
hope for the business.
It's looking good. Maybe pizzas are our
future?
Yes. They're not bad for frozen pizzas,
are they?
Frozen?
Oh, you've dashed my hopes. This is the
last straw. I'm going to have to find a
real chef.
And not one that is as arrogant as you.
Oh, what am I going to do? I can't just
get a new job like that.
No, there might be not hope for you but
I think I might have the perfect answer.
How's your new job, Gordon?
Can I borrow your hat?
Thank you!
you