- I was gonna prepare questions for this interview,
but you know how it goes.
Are you good at improvising?
- On your resume, you put that you're detail oriented.
- I am.
- Well, actually you forgot the I in oriented
so you're detail orented.
- Oh.
- Yeah, orented is not a word.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, that's a little awkward for you, isn't it?
How do you feel about team bonding?
- Oh, well, it's-
- Because I really believe in getting
close to my colleagues.
- Uh, huh.
- How close is too close for you?
- Oh my gosh, you worked at Starbucks?
- Yeah, yeah.
- My neighbor's ex-girlfriend's stepbrother worked there.
- Okay.
- Did you know him?
- Maybe.
- Wow, small world.
- Look, I have no idea what this role is
that you're applying for, but you read the description,
so do you think you can do it?
- Yeah.
- That's all I needed to hear.
(pen clicks) We're done.
- Tell the manufacturer I need 10
more points off or I can't do it.
What do you want?
- I, I'm here for- - No, not you.
Oh, you're the two o'clock.
Oh, the 2:03? Wait, the 2:07.
Ah, details. It doesn't matter.
First things first, can you talk
and type at the same time? Demonstrate now.
Wait a second. Hold that skillset.
No, I said 500, not 5.
Come on. Move, move, move.
Anyway, where were we?
Your strengths? Yes, list them.
- Should I just return at another time?
- There's no time for returns. Let's wrap this up.
You're hired. Can you start yesterday?
- Wow- - I'll take that as a yes.
Now get outta here and start making me money.
- Imagine a leaf flowing down a serene river.
Now tell me where does the leaf go?
And more importantly, does it feel fulfilled?
- How would you handle a...
No, what's your approach to a project where...
What I think I'm getting at is where do you see,
or rather what are your thoughts on...
Unless you'd prefer to discuss your previous...
But do you think, or perhaps should you be...
Anyway, I've talked enough.
Go ahead, go ahead.
- Let's say an idiot puts aluminum foil
in the microwave and starts a fire,
and in the rush to get out, I fall and break my leg.
Would you be able to carry me to safety?
Are you really gonna leave me behind?
- Tell me a little bit about yourself.
- Well, I graduated with a degree
in business management. - Mm.
- My thesis essay was on sustainable-
- Mm. - Business practices.
I worked with several local- - Uh-huh.
- Businesses to- - Yes.
- Implement our- - Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
- Post changes- - Hm.
- Where I spearheaded several. - Uh-huh.
- Initiatives to cut down- - Right.
- Waste, improving- - Mm-hm.
- Efficiency.
And within a year we saw 20% increase-
- Mm.
- In productivity- - Ah.
- With a 10%. - Yup.
- Decrease- - Huh.
- In costs. - Huh.
Okay, what is happening?
- Your resume says you're a team player.
- Yeah, I'm a team player.
- I've got 50 resumes here and literally all
of them say they're a team player.
- Oh.
- If someone would put anything else
other than team player, I would love it.
Really, anything. Put, "I hate working with other people.
I don't work well with others. I'm not a team player."
I would've eaten it up.
- I'm always the best at everything I do.
So how would you feel about being second best here?
Or do you think you could beat me?
- All right, stand up. Let's do some role play.
- Okay.
- Okay, so pretend I'm an angry customer
who got the wrong coffee order.
- Coffee. We're not....
- Oh, my coffee.
Oh, you made it all wrong.
Oh, I'm so angry right now.
- Sorry about that.
- Oh, I'm just having such a bad day
and now this has made it so much worse, oh.
Asked me about my day.
Oh... - Okay.
Well, what's wrong with your day?
- I got in a big fight with my wife
and she just told me that she wanted a divorce, oh.
- Oh, okay, well let me remake your drink for you.
- Okay, do you see where you're going wrong here?
You're blowing this.
- Tell me about a time that you had a dream about work.
- Okay.
- And then tell me what you think the dream means.
- What's your dream job?
- Oh, well-
- Because mine is being an actor.
- Oh.
- I'd love to be in films. - Yeah.
- Sometimes I do act in plays here and there,
but it is just tough.
It's a very tough industry.
It's definitely not easy. - Yeah, yeah.
- How am I supposed to rehearse from 6 to 11
and then get here at 8:30?
It's not easy. - Wow, no, no.
- Do you have any questions for me?
- No. No questions.
- Okay, well, I gotta tell you that
technically that is the wrong answer.
You really should have questions to ask me
to show that you care about the job,
that you've done a little research.
But let me be honest with you
that I hate answering questions, so I really appreciate
that you gave me the wrong answer.
- Oh, good.
- Doesn't mean you're gonna get the job.
- Oh.
♪ They say a stranger's come to town ♪
♪ They call him Mr. Frank James ♪