So it seems like Nostalgia is the thing these days
probably every toy
I had as a kid is now a movie trilogy and new games look like old games and everything is in fashion, and yeah
Yeah, you're nodding okay. You know what I mean, it does seem like the past is the fuckin place to be
When you were a kid you had [a] big house and a shitty Black-And-White TV
But now you've got a 55 inch plasma and a $600 phone
But a shitty apartment
With mirrors instead of other rooms because house prices
Start at half a million and I doubt you would have accepted the trade-off if you'd been asked first
One day you realize that you need?
binoculars and a clear day to see the poverty line your whole life is the equivalent of playing tennis with a frying pan and the
Only thing between you and those official poor people you see on the news is your parents bailing your [ass] out
Oh, and you'd love [to] have kids of your own
but how the fuck are you ever going to be [able] to afford that so
Maybe it makes sense why people are nostalgic for childhood because anyone looking at the world right now would conclude that shit is
fucked
Like if people from the future we're watching us. Now fuck knows what they'd be thinking now is bullshit
Now sucks, especially [on] a personal level
Certainly my life probably seems like a joke and yet, the thing is I'm still
Not nostalgic not even close man not even a little
And you're staring now trying to figure out why the fuck I'm so happy with all this
You look at me like you look [at] the world and you probably just see a whole lot of wasted potential
And I definitely see [that] myself sometimes. I mean you grow [up]
It's all before you and you start forming who you are
But then suddenly school's over and youth over and you have to take what you've built, and somehow make it work
But what if it doesn't what if all freedom did was allow you to become unmarketable?
What if your carefully crafted persona came at the Expense of developing practical skills?
And it constantly feels like a miracle [that] you're not currently living in a cardboard box in an alley
[what] if that was another trade-off?
What if you had to spend so much time and emotion trying to find out?
Who you are that when you look around it feels like you began 100 feet back from the starting line
What if you have decades left to go yet? It always feels like there's no time left
Sometimes it feels like you're stuck in some kind of permanent brunch between school and adulthood
Constantly expecting maturity to kick in and away TV. Said it would but as the years passed it never seems to happen
Keep waiting keep getting dressed up for the ball
But it keeps getting deferred and Meanwhile they're telling you to prepare for adult life
They're telling you to learn some relevant skills and go outside and meet someone but they never tell you how and they definitely don't tell
you about all the other shit you're going to be learning while you're trying to learn how to type or pour drinks or
Dance for the people and you had to learn a lot you know you had to learn to be alive
But not exist because people look at you and Willfully ignore anything, beneath the surface
[you've] had to learn how to bury the anger because you didn't all there would be is anger
You've had to learn how to imitate [humans] so you can pass for one of them
But you still worried about being discovered
You've had to learn how to live with the knowledge that one day this will all be over and all you can do is
Desperately try to make some ripples in the water to prove you were here before you sink below forever
and you've had to learn how to live with the fact that millions of people won't even get that much because
Overwhelming heartbreak and injustice is a constant and you were just lucky to not be born into it
Don't you dare waste that gift?
Don't you dare?
Turn out to be nobody [when] you're done learning all that
You'd better learn to look backwards because none of this shit existed when you were a kid
So that's going to be your happy place forever
They never said that one day you'd feel like if it wasn't for work
You just want to sleep forever that sometimes the mechanisms that let you go anywhere
it can also paralyze you the competition that anyone can win is also what can help you to destroy yourself by
Constant comparisons to everyone else in the race so you can be
Independent and attractive with a decent job and an apartment, and you'll still feel like a total fucking failure half the time
Maybe there won't even be an Earth and the future the way things are going
But if there is we somehow invent our way out of climate change and prejudice and terrorism and nuclear war if there's some amazing future
Society that looks back on us the way we look back on the black death are they going to see anything worth salvaging?
Our people in the future just going to be laughing at us if they can [time-travel] [they're] probably here right now
They probably watch the pass for entertainment exactly like we do with movies
They're probably invisibly walking around staring like we stare at an aquarium pointing at all the primitive
Creatures that never made it on the shore. How we spend so much time doing things we hate
How we're constantly held back by selfishness, how we all look the same
But hate each other regardless how you can get a few million of us in one place and yet when you zoom in you see
how alone everyone feels I know they'd at least never want the world to return to how it was
They sure as hell wouldn't be nostalgic for this, but you know what I try to feel that way, too
We're supposed to yearn for the good old days
We're supposed to look around like read the end of history and think that everything [is] fucked and it all gets gradually worse
But that's bullshit because I look back
I'm I can only speak for myself, but I never had so much as I have now
I look back and I was never this poor but I was never this focused either
We've never this stressed, but I was never this responsible
And was never gets discouraged
But I was never this engaged
Was never this tired, but I was never myself either
I was never this afraid
but I swear to God I was never this determined
And I don't know a lot, but I know I'd never want to be any me except this one
Some days it seems hopeless and like nothing will get better
And you just want to be someone's kid again for a minute and not have to worry about everything but on other days
I remember how I've never enjoyed anything as much as
I enjoy the things I've accomplished and the people who I only know because of [who] I am now
I'd like to see a movie Trilogy about that
I'd like to see a movie where everybody realizes that
Nobody is who they were when they born because it's your right to work toward
Something you're happy with I'd like to see a movie about how things do get better and fear can't change the world because love is
The [only] thing motivating enough to shape the future and if people from the future are looking back at me
They're going to see someone who's looking back at his own past and is only nostalgic for Halloween and summer because this
This is me, and I like me believe it or not
Am I making sense here?
What do you think I think this is easily the worst Lap Dance ever [I] know I'm sorry
It's been that kind of year. I guess no. It's fine. I completely agree [with] you actually
[I] may look [like] I know what I'm doing
But I look back and there are a lot of bad haircuts and bad choices and ten years from now
I'll probably feel the same looking back on this all right it is what it is
You can look back and say your favorite TV show could never get made today
But maybe it's because we've learned to make better show
Maybe we can't make this place great again because it's fucking never been as great as it is now and as great as we'll make
It in the future and as for any time travelers watching us. What would the future say about the past? I don't know
What do you say about your own past?
I just say I'm glad I kept doing because
Whatever this is it's not the end
Whatever I think of my past self
I'm so thankful that despite all the assholes despite all the hate despite all the bullshit he didn't give up
cos I'm only here in a place I like because of him not giving up
It's not Nostalgia. It's not regret. It's just
gratitude you know
that's exactly what I was going to say yeah me too