-Howdy, howdy, howdy, fruit lovers.
Well, it's the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right.
I finally got my nonexistent hands on Goat Simulator!
Whoo-hoo! You know what?
This calls for a celebratory goat scream.
Eeeeeeyeah! [laughs]
♪ That's what the goat says ♪ [chuckles]
And another one because why not?
Eeeeeeeeeeeeyeah! [chuckles]
All right. Let's play. Seriously, guys.
You have no idea how excited I am for this game.
It's like there's been a goat-shaped hole
in my heart my entire life, and today I get to fill it. [laughs]
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's that thing hanging down from my face?
Wait, is that my tongue? [laughs]
I bet he could touch his tongue to his eyeball, no sweat.
Whoa! I can lick stuff too and grab it?
Wow! That's the greatest tongue of all time!
Get it? Greatest Of All Time?
GOAT? Acronyms! Am I right? [laughs]
Okay, I guess that was a bit of a stretch...
just like my goat's tongue! Am I right? [chuckles]
Ah. I wonder if I practiced hard enough
if I could brag stuff in real life with my tongue.
Nope. Not yet, but I'll keep practicing. [chuckles]
Okay, looks like I'm fenced in.
I wonder how I'm supposed to get out of here.
It's telling me I have to do a back flip.
Maybe I'm supposed to back-flip over the fence?
[goat screams] Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Hey! Wow! That's a game-changer!
[laughs] Goat screams are the best!
This calls for a goat scream!
Eeeeeeeeeeyeah! [laughs]
Oh, that was a really good one. Maybe they'll let me do
the goat's voice if they ever make Goat Simulator 2. [laughs]
Okay, I want out of here. I'm "board."
Get it? Board?
Seriously though, how do I get out of here?
How do I get out? Come on.
Come on. [grunts]
Help me. Help me, Watermelon.
Help me over the fe-- whoa!
Whoa. That was-- that was crazy. Okay. Come on.
Here, maybe this other goat will help me.
Goat, where do I go?
Okay. Eeeeeeeyeah! [laughs]
Oh, he must not be a goat. He must be a ram. [laughs]
Oh, okay. Huh. I wonder what's at the top of this staircase.
Ahh, stairs are hard. I give up.
That was cool. Tongue model photo shoot.
Good. Beautiful. Now do the Blue Steel.
[laughs]
Hey, get out of my way, dead goat.
I didn't even ram you that hard. Give me a break.
A human! I must ram him!
Gib-- whoa, I'm free!
I am free! Free at last
to ram anything I wan-- ow...
I guess that was a really bad idea.
I guess that's a really bad idea. Okay, let me try again.
I can do it. Ow! Man!
This game really gets my goat. [laughs]
Come on! Here we go.
I'm gonna get it this time.
Oh! Yeah!
Knockin' over big trailers just like that. Yeah!
Okay. [grunts] Get out of my way.
[grunts] Comin' through!
[laughs]
Okay, what do we got now? Let's see.
Oh, no! Oh, it's stuck!
It's stuck to my tongue! Aah!
[laughs]
Oh, the brutality! [chuckles]
It's still stuck to my tongue. [laughs]
[chuckling]: This is the best game ever!
Oh... oh, I love it.
I love it. I wish my tongue could do that.
Another party.
Let's make this a farty party!
[laughs raucously]
I hope you weren't eating that! [laughs]
Oh, this game's awesome.
Whoa. Trampolines in empty swimming pools?
Get out of my head, Goat Simulator! [laughs]
This is what I've always wanted in my entire life.
Okay, let's... ♪ Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy, jumpy ♪
♪ Jumpy in the trampoline pool ♪
[laughing]
I love it! I love it!
Goat Simulator! Eeeeeeyeah!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [laughs]
♪ Jump! Jump! Jump for joy! ♪
I'm super-jealous of this goat again.
He gets two trampolines and I don't even get one.
I always wanted a trampoline growing up,
but my mom said they were too dangerous.
"You'll break your arm," she said, and then I reminded her
that one day I didn't even have arms and she was like,
"Well, you'll break your legs!"
Yep, that was the day I realized my mother was crazy.
Hey! How d'you get out of here?
I'm all bounced out. I wanna go out on another ramming rampage.
Hey. I'm stuck! A little help?
[laughs] I'm not even mad.
This is hilarious! Look at his head wiggle. [laughs]
Cool dance moves, goaty.
Do the goat, eh-eh-eh. Do the goat, eh-eh-eh.
[laughs]
All right, time to explore everything
that this wonderful goat world has to offer.
Here we go! Oh!
I'm an idiot.
Hey, there's an unsuspecting human. Get him!
Get him! Come on!
Here! Oh... -[bleep]
-Whoa, hey! Careful there, buddy.
Who says that? Who says that?
The human said a naughty word. [laughs] Bad human.
Now put a nickel in the swear jar. [laughs]
Whoa! I can do butt slides?
Whoa... this changes everything!
Hey, human! Human, wake up! Aw, man.
I guess this is the moment Goaty learns
that his actions have consequences.
This game just got really dark. [chuckling]: Oh.
And really funny! [chuckling]
[chuckling]: Oh, no!
Hilarity! I'll take you to the hospital!
Come on! I've got to find human some help.
Doctors hang out at gas stations, right?
Hey, sir, are you a doctor?
Help! Help! He needs help!
[chuckling]: Oh, no!
Help him! Oh. [laughs]
I told you to help and that's what you get for not helping.
Come on, car. I got to get in the car.
We gotta take these guys to the hospital.
[explosion, Orange screams]
Whoa! Whoa. I just Michael Bay'd it.
Wow. I totally Michael Bay'd that gas station.
I don't even know what I did.
All I know is that I'm totally awesome at this awesome game.
[laughs]
Oh, Goat Simulator, you do not disappoint.
You're my favorite game of all time.
All right, guys. Thanks for watching, everyone.
I might have to do another Goat Simulator video.
That was too much fun. If you know of some other cool
Goat Simulator levels I should play,
leave them in the comments below.
In the meantime, I'll be working on my goat screams.
EEEEEEEEEYEAH!!! [laughs]
...victory flip!
[laughs] Face-plant!
Victory flip, victory flip, oh...
Oh, I was almost out of here.
I was almost gonna flip the lip. [laughs] Ah.
Welp, I seem to be better
at propelling myself directly into the grounds,
so that's a plus and...