(YAWN..)
Welcome to Anglik Robi Zuka
Episode 23
The end of lockdown.
And this time, I find more rust
Dispatch consumer advice
Drive to Scotland, go for a walk,
Admire the countryside
Help out on the party bus
While Leo overdoes it,
And Karol,
Overcooks it(!)
Sorry for the rant,
And for the phone audio
I'll use this new radio mics, next time!
Hello Zuk friends, it's time for a van update!
It's probably just going to be me crying as I set fire to my Zuk.
I bought an absolute LEMON.
If you were going to buy a Zuk,
Make some new Polish friends!
That can go and check it for you
and actually, put your hand in your pocket,
and buy a decent one
(Stop moaning Andy!)
2 weeks ago we realised there was no way for me to
lower the bulkhead height, repair the B pillars & floor
Unless we removed the wood floor from the back of Zuk
So the floor has got to come out!
And I don't think there is any way to remove the floor
in 1 piece..
There is screws & nails everywhere in the floor
and what really grabs my goat (!)
Is that I spent a day repairing holes in that floor previously!!
I thought it was savable, and would add character to the van,
Right now, the only good thing about the Zuk is the
chassis, engine, gearbox and brakes... basically
everything that I've added to it.
I think it's like the "stages of grief",
owning a Zuk, I really do..
I've been in denial that it's as bad as it is,
and trying to stay positive,
so I've sort-of reached acceptance....
that the floor has got to come out!
what concerns me about this is...
I used to think that the wood wouldn't be structural..
wood - wood?!?!!
That the WOOD WOULD NOT BE STRUCTURAL
But I have a horrid feeling,
That the metal ribs that hold the shell together..
do not go through the wood... because if they don't..
the thing is a death-trap anyway!!
So how to turn this into a positive message...(?)
Covid (lock-down) has been hard..
We've not been able to go anywhere or do anything
and now restrictions are being raised.. in England and Scotland
We're going to go "up the road" to see what Karol has been up to with his Zuk
I'm going to take the floor out of mine today,
we're going to crack on with the welding, and make it better than it ever was before...
Do you buy that? Did that sound genuine?
Great!
because I feel like **** about it!
Don't buy a Zuk!!
I'm only joking!
Buy a Zuk
But buy a good one!
and if you don't buy a good one..
Feel totally free to cut it about and modify it
and strengthen it and make it stop better and make it faster (!)
Because..
Honestly..
The Zuk is still the worst vehicle I've ever owned.
I've ever owned, and that's what makes it one of the best
cars I've ever owned...
Maybe there is something in my psyche that makes me
need to own crap things, I d o n t k n o w
But what ever happens, we ARE going to make it better!!
If I could ever get to the yard!!
Because they have closed all of the &*^$%*^% roads!!
( radio garbage while sat in traffic jam exasperatedly )
And that's enough of that..
Let's crack on with this floor!
After I'd removed all of the remaining chequer-plate
Paul suggested by removing one plank
we might be able to get the whole floor out more easily..
It was really frustrating to realise..
That the welding of the chassis could have been so much better if I'd done this before..
[ But at least my repair is holding up ] ?!!!!?!!!
I'd repaired this floor back in episode #17 :(
But hey! At least I removed one of the planks undamaged!
And of course!! The corrosion uncovered proved to be
much worse than anticipated...
Let's add it to the list of all the other metalwork required
* I can't actually tell if this is a low point, or a high point *
**perfect**
At least there were no more nasty surprises waiting for me..
SO it was time to remove the last few stubborn bolts,
and to prepare the ladder-chassis for painting..
But first..
* Right my lovelies (!) *
* this is what we're gonna do.. *
* come with me *
This
Is shockingly weak
This is terrible
and unacceptable
So this 2mm steel
is going to be replaced with 5mm
We're going to slot it down and replace this
We're going to run angle across here..
And butt it into these..
and then we're going to replace these..
so the van can actually be square...
Then what we're going to do is...
The new floor will be flush to this..
So I will have gained this height....
Plus the height of the wooden floor
and we'll just have a piece of timber that runs along below the door
This side is similarly sexy(!)
not too bad...
but this is all...
I mean... look at it...
but yeah... removing all of this and replacing it..
This (B pillar) should join on to this...
and then be linked to the ladder chassis for strength..
I've ordered the steel..
So all I can do is tidy this up..
and get it ready
for some MORE welding..
So there you go, the structural integrity
has been sacrificed by slotting in the wooden floor by factory..
It was acceptable in the late-1950's
But perhaps not so acceptable by 1998 (or 2020!!)
Another thing which is useless on these..
Is this..
Door slams...
and it all $%^&* MOVES!
and that's because..
there's not strength to this metal here..
so we're also going to strengthen..
the living daylights out of this also!
(sighs) I pretty much...
know now that this is the right thing to do.. (floor removal)
I mean, look at the state of this...
Lovely!
Hard to imagine that's a new fuel tank (below)..
And this is the side we thought was solid / good(!)
Still, the whole bulkhead has to come out now anyway!
But we can't do that until we've strengthened everything on this side of the bulkhead..
Buit first, ;et's clean up and paint..
The only part of the chassis I've never had access to..
the top(!)
Any future Zuk I buy (!)
is going to have the whole body lifted off the chassis..
before I do ANYTHING else to it!
Pretty soon, this will be the Flintstones' car!
I'm also in desperate need
for a 1985 rear-panel
Because mine is all filler!
Oh and another thing(!)
My back panel..
doesn't even have bolt holes to allow it to
bolt on to the chassis (!?)
Just like my rear vents..
allow rain to pour inside..
My Zuk is a proper " Friday Afternoon Lemon "..
It also only has 50% of the strengthening that other Zuk Straz Pozarna had(!)
Which is why the roof is deformed from firemen boots(!)
(and I've kept this clip in because...)
I forgot the camera was rolling...
and I was just really dissapointed in the condition..
because there is no floor, everything gets dusty..
At this time, with lock-down being eased..
(Sarcastic) "stay strong"...
I needed a change of scenery..
It would turn out to be a special last trip..
for my faithful cav
" ORWIN "
Sorry for the wind noise...
It was 32c on the day we made our trip!
** So I've just filled up with petrol.. **
** and I'm off to pick Leo up **
for our own " mini Zlombol ".... "Stay in Cav" edition
Now, Orwin..
Was my wife's car
she drove it to work daily
& it's been on the road since I saved it, about 8 years ago
It has a rat hanging from the rear-view mirror
because I almost died when I was re-looming (wiring) the car
( I caught something nasty from a rat's nest! )
So it's not just "Rat-look",
but previously, rat-infested!
So after 2 weeks & my internal organs began to shut-down (!)
and my wife...
treated me to a rat ( toy ) when I survived (to remind me!)
you've got to love my wife's sense of humour(!)
So Orwin came from a garage (dealer) in Sheffield..
& there's a chap I've known for about 20 years
who also lives in Sheffield ( & loves cavs!)
So Orwin, is going to be going home.
This trip was his last road-trip before his new lease-of-life
Before we headed to Torphins,
Karol wanted to show us some of the local sights..
I think you'll agree, he lives in a stunning part of the UK
Where there's plenty of wildlife..
And while we could have stayed all day..
It was time to get back
To Kaktus headquarters
To build our Zlombol trailer-tent for the first time!
And then after a crazy-busy day
We kicked-back
A bit too much... for Leo (!)
***Zlombol - Day 2 ***
Especially as he was going to be inducted (to Kaktus Team)
with the ridiculously indestructable
Suzuki Alto
Which although being Bruno's car
Is kind of a " rite of passage " in these parts...
** 2 litres of fuel so... ** How much oil is in it!? ** Plenty **
The plan was for Leo to have a quick thrash before we all worked on the Party Bus
But Karol wanted to show Leo what the little Alto was capable of(!)
Woops(!)
**Are you alright?**
**That was good!!**
Where's my...
Shoe?
Suitably chuffed at dodging death...
Leo suggested..
We crack on with the Zuk again
** Bruno's taken it well?!**
and BOY did we EVER crack on!!!
Just imagine what it will be like when we drive this ZUK
10,000kms! To Turkey, the Balkans, & Beyond!!!
So PLEASE hit subscribe
if you've not already done so
Speaking of taking things too far...
Leo decided to buy an incredibly low-mileage Fiesta (!)
(that one of Karol's neighbours had for sale)
but what was REALLY RISKY
Was Leo wearing an England cap
while filling with petrol (!)
we hadn't had too much "Scottish weather" during our trip..
but that was about to change too..
stand by for a Scottish shower..
Ready??
**erm yeah, I'm in a 39 year old cav **
** going Oh my god.... are we driving through the sea?!! **
But hey!
We could have been stuck in a traffic jam (again)
In 32c degree heat!
** Holy &%$£-^$$& Andy **
And we narrowly avoided.. 20 miles of stationary traffic..
By dashing into the contraflow (at the last minute)
and it was kind of fitting..
that Orwin's last drive with me..
was Leo's first drive in his Fiesta
I'd driven 1000 miles,
and had an amazing weekend,
we'd met some new friends
and I'd recorded some new chicken sounds for the swear-words (!)
MASSIVE thanks to Karol, Ania, Bruno, Neela
and "Charlie Charlston"
For looking after us.
Just after lockdown.
And thanks also to THIS bad-boy!!!
It;s been great!
And I'll see you all, NEXT-TIME!
With a much-improved " Anglik Robi Zuka "