Translator: Carlos Bravo Reviewer: Daniela Soledad Di Lauro
Marry while you are a virgin and they will never leave you.
The worst lie ever invented.
I think it was the men.
I said, ‘I think.’
And there I was.
After 4 years since I got divorced.
And guess what.
I wasn’t a virgin.
And now, what am I going to do?
Who is going to choose me?
Was I already left behind?
And then the adventure of being 23 years old starts.
Two kids.
A single mom, a job with a huge responsibility.
And I was majoring in business administration at night.
With so much uncertainty.
However, since I left home at 14 to live with some relatives,
because my dad used to say I could marry a rich man,
at 16 I was living all by myself.
So, diversity has been a part of my life since I was a kid.
So, being strong and working hard was something I knew to do very well.
I had no place to go with my kids.
Many people have their parents, a place where they can go.
I didn’t have that kind of luck.
I had to look for an apartment to go with my kids.
I also didn’t know how I would be as a mother.
What they don’t tell you is that you are going to be a maid,
personal driver, doctor, psychiatrist, spiritual guide
and, of course, a bank.
Among many other things.
Changing schools and maids were our daily routine.
I always remember.
While my kids were studying.
I started working in an embassy.
I remember the first day I had to go to administration to ask for a $20 voucher.
The administrator looked at me and he said to me, ‘I’m clean.’
He meant to say there was no money.
And I told him with a lot of shame
that I had two little kids at home and I had to buy some groceries.
When you are young, you do things that you think are right.
Because you want to protect your kids.
They were in 5 different schools, if any teacher bothered one of my kids
they would become my enemy.
We slept together in the same bed for more than 10 years.
I didn’t marry because I was afraid of someone coming in
and destroying what we had built.
Some of my memories are when I didn’t have the money
for my daughter’s milk.
She cried at night.
Me too. I had to wait until fortnight to buy it.
Having to measure your kids food is something I wish for no one.
I also had to take my 4-year-old son to the doctor, so he can get over
his parents’ divorce.
And he always wondered,
‘Mom, are you taking me to the doctor because I’m crazy?’
I had to work hard on him so that he could get over this situation.
When you are asked why women survive divorce,
it’s because we can’t put our kids in danger.
If you fail once, you put everything you have been working for in danger.
Sometimes I am asked if I could have done it better.
Of course, with more experience.
But I did everything I could when I was 23.
And I strongly believe it was a good job.
Above all the things women are expected to do, being a good mother and wife,
working, looking good, cooking, and so on.
According to the World Bank, the statistics say that in South America
there is a huge index of single mothers and divorces, like in Brazil,
with a rate of more than 108 million women.
More than 60 million are women, 11,5 of them are single mothers.
In many cases, that means mothers with poor kids.
While I was raising my kids, I finished my major.
I have more than 10 international certifications
in Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
Costumer service in everything that has to do with personal development.
I wrote a book, I’m writing another one and I train
women in business and family.
My kids are professionals today.
They are loving, and respectful kids of their parents and their neighbors.
They did get married.
Can you believe it? After everything I did for them, they left
and told me, ‘Bye, mom.’
No time to cry.
It’s a challenge only for the brave.
If you are in this situation
and you doubt about what you’re doing
and all the achievements you’ve had so far,
I have a question for you.
Can diversity be the master key for you
to take the next step?