The Trump administration
is currently celebrating a coronavirus relief bill
that would send most Americans over $1,000 in cash.
Which is an idea that sounds necessary
and strangely familiar.
(ringing)
Andrew, what the (bleep)?
Yo, the Republicans stole your idea.
Uh, oh, it's not my idea,
and I'm thrilled that they're-they're doing it.
But, dude, this is your idea.
Literally your one idea.
You were running on this one thing, and they-they stole it.
Well, uh, you know, they-they're not gonna do it in perpetuity.
That would be my idea. (laughs)
If they-they put it in place
where we get it every month forever,
uh, then I would be up there, uh,
I hope, just clapping and cheerleading,
because all of this stuff's ve-very overdue.
Remember when you first started, and you were talking about UBI?
A lot of people called you crazy.
It's-it's a convoluted, cockamamie idea.
It's this move towards socialism.
"It's all gonna stink, you're gonna lose your job,
"you're not gonna have anything,
so we're gonna give you a big handout."
I mean, I don't know that that's gonna be inspiring
to a lot of Americans.
Do you think Americans just needed to be pushed to the brink
of death and economic collapse to realize
that, hey, maybe giving people $1,000 isn't a bad idea?
On my campaign, I was talking about how more and more of us
are going to get sent home because technology,
artificial intelligence, robots
are gonna do more and more of our jobs.
And now, we've all been sent home.
And we see that it's obvious that we have no way
to help people survive this crisis
but to put money directly into our hands.
Okay, but how much do you believe
that this coronavirus is caused by AI?
Is this the first step in their global domination?
AI had nothing to do with the coronavirus.
Just a coincidence? Just a coincidence now
that we depend on computers more than ever?
I'm talking to you on a computer.
I'm also looking at porn on a computer at the same time.
Because computers are great like that.
You can multitask.
Computers are definitely transforming our way of life
-in ways big and small. -(moaning on Chieng's computer)
Um, but this virus is a totally different phenomenon.
Sorry, Andrew. I didn't hear any of that.
I was multitasking.
So, how do you stop this administration
from (bleep) this idea up?
Well, we tell them just to keep it as simple as possible.
Money in our hands, regardless of who we are,
every month, until the crisis is over.
And then after the crisis is over, just keep going.
Just say, "You know what?
"Who knows? There could be
another crisis around the corner."
Do you think we should add an extra $500
for all Asians as a racial profiling rebate?
You know, just each of us gets maybe Venmo'd a few bucks
every time a politician uses the term "Chinese Virus."
I do not think so.
I think we should treat everyone the same, Ronny.
Right, got you.
Let's-let's talk about it in the chat after this.
(clears throat)
Uh, I guess the last thing I'm wondering is, uh,
when you look at what's happening out there,
do you think it's too late?
I wish we had acted before, Ronny, but it's not...
never too late to do the right thing.
We just need to start doing the right thing for our people.
What? No, I meant is it too late for you to get back in the race
to run for president as an Independent?
We need to defeat Donald Trump in the fall.
I'm dedicated to doing that, uh,
and helping the Democrats win in the fall.
Okay, got it.
So we solve coronavirus first,
and then vote for Andrew Yang as Independent
for president of the United states. Got it.
No, that's not right. We take care of our people,
we get money into our hands,
and we get Donald Trump out of there in the fall.
Whatever you say, President Yang.
Thanks, Ronny. Not at all what I said, but stay home.
Uh, sorry. Sorry. I can't hear you.
I got to... close this... window.
(chimes)