Here we are on the last video part 3, the focus of this section is
more information on self-disclosure, a combination
of additional concepts related to the topic of self-disclosure.
So here's another theory in 1973
Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor developed a theory called "Social Penetration"
which proposes that as relationships develop, interpersonal communication
moves from relatively shallow non-intimate levels, to deeper and more intimate levels.
There based upon the core areas of people's personalities, so you wanna assume that this model
is representing all the potential information about yourself that you
could possibly disclose to someone else, each of your relationships have a degree of
social penetration. So think about it this way you've got Breadth,
now Breadth would be the various potential topics the areas
that you can discuss so you might have
we might call it a spoke or I've seen a pin be used here.
It would be very similar to I have an area or a piece of the pie a "spoke" that's related to
my job, how I feel about my job, what kind of job I enjoy doing,
and where I'm currently working now.
I could have another spoke about a romantic relationship,
I could have another spoke about my family relationship, I could have a spoke
about my religious aspects, like to talk about my experience traveling.
So lots of areas and the more areas that you can talk about or the more pins that you have in your
model, would be your Breadth and some people have a lot of breadth some people have
much more limited breadth, fewer topics that they could actually talk about
along with Breadth you have Depth so you see the onion up in the corner there
that's too almost remind you that it's like
pealing and onion that you have to go through the top layers before you go to
the interior get to the interior part the onion.
So you have different levels that you can go through
you have a superficial level,that would be the top area
of the onion these are things that you might tell people fairly easily, you get a little bit more
intimate as you get closer to the core the more important
areas so you go through the superficial area, before you get to the Intimate
area, and then there's a personal area, as well something a little bit deeper than that and then finally
the center the core that you don't normally tell very many people if any at all.
Again as in the Johari window you're going to have different models of disclosures
for different people in the relationship,
so in a very casual relationship the Breadth might be great but the Depth would be shallow,
in an intimate relationship there would probably be high Depth in at least one area.
So in the first model you have a limited relationship in which one dimention of yourself has been
disclosed to another and that's it so that's the model in the upper left, the second model
shows a relationship with greater Breadth in the green model but not very much
intimacy and that's the one in the middle on the bottom, the third model would
probably be a very close intimate relationship in which there's been extensive Breadth and Depth of disclosure
that would be the "Social Penetration" model, the peeling back the layers of the onion
or as one of my colleague calls it the "Shrek model" of communication, Ogres are like onions model.
Moving onto another another view is Sidney Jourard , Sidney Jourard is a social
philosopher, a clinical psychologist,
an empirical researcher his prescription for the human being is
increased openness, and transparency so in his view an ideal relationship
is one of free disclosure and understanding in a threat free environment
and perhaps the kicker in this one is the term "threat free",
remember we talked about self-disclosure involves
risk so the question is, is there really such thing as a threat free environment or is it that the
potential of threat could be at various levels.
Key concept in Jourard's viewe of self-disclosure is the concept of transparency
or openness he equates transparency with, openness and closeness with sickness and poor health,
his concept is that if you disclose yourself to the world an other people disclose themselves to you,
so you're allowing other people disclose themselves to you
and you're allowing yourself to disclose yourself others, that you will be transparent and
it would be a much healthier relationship.
So that's my very short version of Jourard's theory of self-disclosure, his is quite a bit more intense
and much more poetic in fact, according to Jourard "Transparency, thus is a
multi-faceted mode of being calls for courage and willingness to let the world be what it is,
to let the other be who he is, and to let oneself be whom one is.
It calls as well, for commitment to truth,as it changeably presents itself, It calls for a readiness to suspend
concepts and beliefs about self, others, and worlds, and to perceive what is.
It calls for willingness to suspend imagination, wish, and fantasy, a readiness to inform and revise concepts with
fresh inputs a perception that it calls for courage to disclose oneself to the world is self-evident".
So much more of a be willing to disclose information about yourself but also be willing to let other people
disclose information about themselves. Some interestingfindings about self-disclosure
first is people differ widely in their willingness to sell
disclose some people felt disclose very easily women, tend to sell
disclose more than men, whites more than, blacks, Americans, more than Britain's,
Middle Easterners, Porter Ricans, or Germans, Jewish,
more than Protestants, or Catholics so there's lots of variations there. There's
also data about yourself varies in accessibility,
meaning there's some information that you're pretty much tell anybody but
there's, others that you will not give them access to,
there's also this concept ever dyadic effect "self-disclosure beget self-disclosure"
there appear to be a high correlation between the self-disclosure that you give,
and the self-disclosure other people give back to you.
So you self disclose something the other person feels like they should give
information back to you, interestingly
well self-disclosure is strongly related to interpersonal attraction,
there are three things very short term interpersonal attraction
why we're attracted to some people and not others there's physical attractiveness,
there's attitude in attribute, similarity what you have in common
and proximity of propinquity the frequency of meeting, so how often you're going to come in contact with them.
The second one of those is attitude in attribute similarity, how do I determine whether you and I
are similar whether we hold similar views, whether we have similar experiences,
unless I self-disclose to you.
There are numerous interaction effects amongst situations, subject matter,
personalities, etc; so you might be talking to one person getting ready to sell disclose an
all the sudden the music shifts to a different song and you no longer feel
like it's an appropriate time to sell- disclose it matters who your talking to,
whether you're there by yourself, or somebody else comes in and joins the two of you it all will vary,
so lots of interaction affects to determine whether you're going to self-disclose or not.
Again reminded that self-disclosure involves risk this is from an advice column in 2006,
Dear Carolyn, I'm about to go through in-vitro fertilization and I feel I should tell
an old friend, because she is curious about fertility issues herself and would appreciate being
confided in. But she's 99% likely to repeat it all to her bored, curious, gossipy mother who still lives in
my parents area-and I really don't like the thought of the minutiae of my personal affairs
being uses a conversational currency by this woman.Ultimately it's inconsequential,
I guess, but it does bug me. What do you think? --Paranoid?
Well there's no way to get around the fact that there's a huge risk involved,
the question is should this person self-disclose or not if she is truthful in saying
its inconsequential then there's really not much risk there,
but if there is a concern that people are going to think more poorly of her or have
different opinions of her the there is some sort of a risk.
Let me talk for a moment about some guidelines for self- disclosing,
remember in the whole risk issue you need to self -disclosed when you believe that disclosure
represents an acceptable risk.
There's an Ethiopian proverb that says "Confideing a secret to an unworthy person
is like, carrying grain in a bag with a whole", you need to determine whether the person
your self- disclosing to will maintain confidentiality that it is worth the risk.
Second is this concept of incremental disclosures you need to move gradually to deeper levels,
think about it as" I wanna test the waters before I go a little bit deeper, I wanna peel off one part of the
onion before I go down to the second part of the onion", so move gradually to deeper levels.
Third is you wanna monitor nonverbal cues, you wanna monitor your own nonverbal cues
how are you feeling, how uncomfortable are you feeling, and how are you expressing that are you making eye
contact in the process and then monitor the other person's nonverbal cues,
how are they responding is that person's body stiffening up is eye contact being made,
what is it that is occurring that will help you determine whether you need to or
you should self- disclose any more information.
Be aware that our dyadic effect the fact that "self-disclosure begets self-disclosure"
so if you confide something that is very close to you, and the other person doesn't give anything back to you
doesn't respond with a reciprocal self-disclosure or self-disclosure on the same level
then rethink whether you want to continue self- disclosing.
And lastly realize that everybody has different attitudes about self-disclosure what you
might consider to be inappropriate self-disclosure someone else might consider
would be extremely important self-disclosure not only in terms of how much,
but, what topics that are being self- disclosed.
Quiz time think about Should you always self-disclose?
When should you consider self-disclosing information that's very personal about yourself to someone else?
What is the concept of reciprocity as it relates to self-disclosure is?
and Does everyone hold the same views about self-disclosure?
Yet another quiz on this area What can you identifie as the two main concepts in Altman & Taylor's
social penetration model?
What would you be able two classifies the two criteria that Sidney Jourard claims define an "ideal relationship"?
and finally Can you explain the concept of transparency in Sidney Jourard's theory of
self-disclosure? So now you know more about the concept of self-disclosure hopefully you can then identify
ways that will help you learn more about yourself through interacting with others.