Let's begin with an update from Hong Kong,
where millions of protesters
have been marching in the streets,
fighting against a proposed law that would allow China
to extradite people from Hong Kong.
And now, after weeks of tear gas,
riot police and violence,
it looks like the protests have paid off.
After mass protests this past weekend,
in Hong Kong-- a major reversal today.
Hong Kong's leader said she is suspending a bill
that would have allowed the extradition
of criminal suspects to mainland China.
She said the decision was aimed at restoring calm
after demonstrations and violence.
MAN 2: People power has won, for the time being,
in this remarkable test of wills between protesters
on the streets here in Hong Kong
and the Chinese government.
Wow. Congratulations to the people of Hong Kong.
Well done, everybody.
It's so exciting to see, because it feels like
this hardly happens, you know?
You-you never see a protest get immediate results like this.
It's like seeing a kid at an arcade actually win a toy
from that claw machine.
I've never seen it.
And I feel bad for those kids 'cause they never get the toy,
and then when they do, I just come and steal it from them.
Now, here's what made this protest so effective.
Up to one third of Hong Kong's population came out
to make their voices heard.
Yeah. And listen to this.
One of the ways they encouraged people to take to the streets--
and this is completely real--
was by shutting down all of the porn sites in Hong Kong.
(laughter)
Which is genius.
Because I don't care how dedicated you are to a cause.
Porn can always distract you.
Yeah, even the most massive protest
is one browser tab away from total failure.
Someone would be like, "I was excited to fight for equality,
"but then, I opened up that tab,
and suddenly, I was tired afterwards."
(laughter)
Moving on to some domestic news,
if you've been wondering
why your cocaine dealer hasn't shown up yet,
this might explain it.
The billion-dollar bust in Philadelphia.
Federal agents making one of the biggest cocaine seizures
in American history, an alarming sign of the drug's resurgence.
MAN 2: Hidden on this ship, docked tonight in Philadelphia,
federal agents say, was a huge stash of cocaine
in seven shipping containers, just over 17 tons of it
with a street value, U.S. officials say,
of over one billion dollars.
Court documents say crew members have told investigators
that the drugs were loaded onto the ship from boats
while it was underway, then stuffed into containers.
That's right. They seized a billion dollars worth
of cocaine in Philadelphia.
And I'm really happy for Philly, but I'm especially happy
for Gritty, who thanks to this bust, has finally gotten clean.
Well done. Yeah, there he is.
"Please call me my by my real name. It's Grichard."
(laughter)
And can you imagine just for a second, can you imagine
being the drug dealer who has to tell his boss
that he lost a billion dollars of product?
Just coming in like, "Hey, patron,
"you ever had one of those days where you thought
"you had something in your pockets
but you check and then it's missing?"
Be like, "Of course. That's the worst."
Be like, "I know. Well, I bring it up,
"because that happened with a billion dollars of our cocaine.
"Some day, we're gonna laugh about this, right, patron?
"Yeah? We're gonna laugh, right, pa...?
"Where are you going, patron?
Are you going somewhere to laugh, patron?"
Also, I don't know about you,
but what disturbed me even more than the cocaine itself
was that it all came in by boat, which means
America's gonna need another wall in the sea.
-Yeah. -(laughter)
'Cause that's the only way to stop both the drugs
and the illegal mermaid immigration.
(laughter)
(as Trump): "Those mermaids are so greedy, folks.
"They want our gadgets and gizmos,
"even though they've got the whos-its and whats-its galore.
"They say it's better down where it's wetter,
but then why do they all come here?"
(laughter)
And speaking of Trump, oh, speaking of Trump,
last night, last night,
Melania's husband held a rally in Florida
to officially kick off his 2020 campaign.
And usually, a reelection campaign offers new ideas,
new policies to move the country forward,
but last night's speech felt like an exact replica
of him running in 2016.
And when I say "exact replica," I mean exact, all right?
In fact, when we put his speeches from 2016
with the ones from last night, well, you tell me
if you can spot anything new.
Make America great again.
The greatest theme in the history of politics.
Maybe the greatest theme of all time.
BOTH: Drain the swamp.
Hillary Clinton, Crooked Hillary.
Deleted and acid washed.
33,000 e-mails.
33,000 e-mails deleted, bleached, acid washed.
BOTH: People are pouring in.
Open borders.
Destroy our country.
Deplorables. Win, win, win.
I will never, ever let you down.
(laughter)
(applause and cheering)
Trump 2020, now in stereo.