HERE WE GO AGAIN.
THE MEDIA HAS DECIDED THEY WILL ATTACK US,
ME SPECIFICALLY, BUT REALLY IT'S A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME, AS YOU
WILL SEE -- THEY HAVE PICTURES, I'M IN THE TITLE -- BUT IT'S
REALLY ATTACKING ALL PROGRESSIVES.
THEY CAN'T HELP
THEMSELVES SO THEY REVEAL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ARTICLE THAT IN
FACT THE ATTACK IS ABOUT BERNIE SANDERS AND THE PEOPLE WHO
BELIEVE IN BERNIE SANDERS.
WHICH BY THE WAY AT THIS POINT WOULD
BE OVER 60% OF THE COUNTRY.
THESE GUYS THINK THEY ARE
HELPING THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
THESE ARE NOT RIGHT-WING
NUTJOBS, THEY ARE LEFT-WING NUTJOBS.
IT'S A PLACE CALLED THE
DAILY BANTER -- I KNOW WE ARE BAD GUYS, THE DAILY FLUFFER,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO, IT'S THE SADDEST PART OF THE
INTERNET, GUYS WHO ARE NOT PART OF THE ESTABLISHMENT BUT
DESPERATELY WANT TO BE.
THEY WRITE THESE THINGS ON THIS
LITTLE BLOG, LIKE, PLEASE, ESTABLISHMENT, WE DON'T LIKE
BERNIE SANDERS EITHER, CENK UYGUR IS A REALLY BAD GUY, CAN
YOU PLEASE HIRE ME SOMEDAY?
AM I BEING UNFAIR?
LET'S FIND OUT
TOGETHER.
THE HEADLINE IS --
NOW, THEY ARE REFERRING TO AN ARTICLE I WROTE CALLED
DISPROVING THE MYTH OF TESTS.
IN THAT ARTICLE I SAY, FIRST OF
ALL, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THE PROGRESSIVE PURITY TEST IS
BECAUSE THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA CONSTANTLY ATTACKS PROGRESSIVES
FOR THAT.
IT'S AS IF THEY WORK FOR ESTABLISHMENT DEMOCRATS.
I
POINTED OUT IN THE ARTICLE AND I SAID YOU TELL ME, YOU TALK ABOUT
PURITY TESTS BUT YOU NEVER TONY WHAT IT IS.
I EXPLAINED FOR
EXAMPLE IN THE CASE OF JUSTICE DEMOCRATS, AND I'M ONE OF THE
FOUNDERS OF THAT GROUP, THAT'S THE PROGRESSIVE WING OF THE
DEMOCRATIC PARTY, AS OPPOSED TO THE CORPORATE WING, WHICH
APPARENTLY JUSTIN ROSARIO, THIS WRITER, IS PART OF, AND PROBABLY
SO -- WE HAVE 23 THINGS IN OUR PLATFORM.
NO REPORTER EVER ASKS
ME, IS YOUR PURITY TEST THAT CANDIDATES THAT JUSTICE
DEMOCRATS SUPPORT HAVE TO DO 23 OF THE 23 THINGS IN YOUR
PLATFORM, AGREE TO EVERYTHING A POSITION?
THEY DIDN'T EVEN ASK,
IF THEY ASKED, THEY WOULD'VE FOUND OUT NO, YOU ONLY HAVE TO
AGREE TO ONE THING.
ONE OUT OF 23.
SO THE SO-CALLED DETEST IS,
YOU CAN'T TAKE CORPORATE OR PAC MONEY.
AND THE IDEA IS NOT
BECAUSE WE WANT TO FORCE EVERY PART OF OUR IDEOLOGY UPON YOU,
IT'S THAT WE WANT YOU TO BE HONEST.
IF YOU TAKE DONOR MONEY,
THERE IS EXCELLENT EVIDENCE THAT YOU WILL REPRESENT THE DONORS.
SO WHAT WE ARE TRYING TO DO IS REPRESENT VOTERS.
[GASP] OH,
THESE GUYS WHO WANT PURITY, THEY WANT US TO REPRESENT THE VOTERS?
AND THE FUNNY THING IS AS THEY SAY I'M DOING A PURITY TEST,
THEY DIDN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THAT IN THE CONTEXT OF THE ARTICLE
FOR WHAT MY PURITY TEST IS.
SO SUBSTANTIVELY EVEN THOUGH IT'S A
GIANT PART OF THE ARTICLE, HE HAS A PURITY TEST, YOU READ AND
READ, WHERE THE HELL IS HIS PURITY TEST.
THEY ARE
FLUMMOXING.
I PROBABLY MADE THAT WORD UP.
THEY ALSO PUT A PICTURE
OF ME SO YOU CAN BEGIN TO GET A SENSE OF WHERE THEY ARE GOING --
GEE, I CAN'T TELL IF THEY ARE AGAINST ME OR NOT, OR TRYING TO
SMEAR ME.
THEY CLAIM --
OH, I GUESS THEY MUST HAVE TAKEN THAT FROM ARTICLE.
EXCEPT
I DIDN'T SAY THAT IN MY ARTICLE, I DIDN'T MENTION ELIZABETH
WARREN AT ALL.
I'VE NEVER SAID THAT ON THE AIR.
AND HERE IS
WHAT I TWEETED THE NIGHT OF THE ELECTION --
WHERE IS THE PART WHERE I CALL HER A SHILL AND I'M OPPOSED
TO HER?
DON'T CARE ABOUT FACTS OR RESEARCH, THEY DON'T CARE,
THEY HAVE TO SMEAR THE LEFT AND PROGRESSIVES.
THEY WANT A PURITY
TEST, THEY HATE ELIZABETH WARREN.
THEY KEEP GOING BACK TO
HER, AS IF THE YOUNG TURKS AND THE JUSTICE DEMOCRATS HATE HER.
THEY CONTINUE --
BUT JUSTIN, THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO MAKE SENSE, DOES IT?
BECAUSE
I'M NOT JUST SITTING HERE IN THE STUDIO, I ACTUALLY AM ONE OF THE
FOUNDERS OF JUSTICE DEMOCRATS.
WE ARE GOING TO RUN IN ELECTIONS
AND WE WILL RUN EVERY TWO YEARS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JUSTIN?
IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE THROWING SPIT BALLS AT ME.
ARE YOU RUNNING,
JUSTIN?
IS ANYONE AT THE DAILY FLUFFER RUNNING FOR OFFICE?
YOU
GUYS ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES, OR IS YOUR IDEA OF LET'S GO GET 'EM,
HEY, ESTABLISHMENT DEMOCRATS, WHO WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO
CRITICIZE NEXT UNFAIRLY WITHOUT ANY RESEARCH?
I SWEAR I WILL DO
IT.
GET IN THE GAME, DUDE.
LET ME SEE YOU RUN.
WE WILL RUN
DOZENS OF CANDIDATES.
AND HEY, GREAT, MAN, WE WILL BE DUE AT
THE BATTLEFIELD.
YOU BACK YOUR CORPORATIST DEMOCRATS -- OH,
DIANNE FEINSTEIN, OF COURSE MEDICARE FOR ALL CAN'T HAPPEN,
IT'S A GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER, I LOVE CORPORATE DEMOCRATS -- YOU
SUPPORT HER, WE WILL SUPPORT A PRIMARY AGAINST HER, AND I KNOW
YOU WILL BE SO MAD, WHY DO THAT TO BELOVED DIANNE FEINSTEIN,
SHE'S SUCH A GOOD CORPORATE DEMOCRAT, SHE AGREES WITH ALL
THE CORPORATE POSITIONS BUT SHE DOESN'T HATE GAY OR BLACK
PEOPLE, SHE'S SUCH A GOOD DEMOCRAT, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
PRIMARY HER?
YOU THINK THERE IS SOME CHANCE WE WILL LOSE A
SENATE SEAT IN CALIFORNIA?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE PRIMARY?
YOU DON'T WANT A PRIMARY BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE STATUS QUO.
OH,
NO, PRIMARIES AND PARTIES, THEY LEAD TO ELECTORAL LOSSES.
REALLY?
WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE FOR THAT?
REPUBLICANS HAVE
BEEN PRIMARY-ING THE HELL OUT OF THEIR CANDIDATES, AND THEY
GAINED MORE SEATS.
PRIMARIES MAKE THE PARTY STRONGER, THERE
IS EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE FOR THAT.
THEN HE QUOTES ME, I LOVE THIS,
HE SAYS, FROM MY ARTICLE --
SO THERE I STATE FACTS, THANK YOU FOR REITERATING THEM.
NOW,
HE'S GOING TO HAVE A RESPONSE, THAT'S WHAT HE QUOTED IT -- I
WILL REDO HIS RESPONSE VERBATIM, THE VERY NEXT THING HE SAYS IN
RESPONSE TO THAT.
HE'S LIKE --
OH, MY BAD.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE THAT'S NOT PRAGMATIC AND
IS NOT REASONABLE.
I STATE FACTS, AND YOU COME WITH
BLABLALBA.
TO BE FAIR, HIS NEXT SENTENCE IS --
OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT PART OF -- BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS, IT
MAKES THEM SO MAD WHEN YOU STATE THE FACTS.
WHEN YOU SAY BERNIE
SANDERS IS POPULAR IN HILLARY CONTENT IS NOT, THAT'S A FACT.
THEY GO, BLABLABLA WITH FACTS, FUCK OFF.
HOW DARE YOU CALL ME
ESTABLISHMENT?
THIS MIGHT BE EVEN BETTER.
TWO SENTENCES
LATER, HE SAYS --
YOU JUST SAID UYGUR AND THE YOUNG TURKS CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF.
WHAT PART OF THAT WAS RESPECTFUL DEBATE?
NO SENSE OF IRONY
WHATSOEVER.
MORE SUBSTANCE.
NOW WE FINALLY GET TO THE HEART OF
THE MATTER.
WHO CARES ABOUT ME, RIGHT?
WE HAVE 80 MILLION UNIQUE
VIEWERS ON THE INTERNET, SOME OF THE GUYS WHO WORK AT THE DAILY
FLUFFER KNOW THAT AND IT DRIVES THEM CRAZY, I BET MOST OF THEM
HAVE BOUGHT INTO THE WASHINGTON GROUP THINK OF IT THE INTERNET,
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
DUDE, YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET.
SO WHY
BOTHER ATTACKING ME?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ME, IT'S ABOUT BERNIE
SANDERS.
HERE IS HIM GOING OFF ON HIM --
THAT'S FUNNY, I THOUGHT I SAID THAT YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR HILLARY
CLINTON INSTEAD OF DONALD TRUMP.
I'M PRETTY SURE I SAID THAT, AND
I'M PRETTY SURE I GOT A LOT OF HEAT AND CRITICISM FOR THAT.
BUT
NO, ACCORDING TO THE UPSIDE DOWN WORLD OF JUSTIN ROSARIO, NO, YOU
SAID HILLARY IS EVIL AND NOT TO VOTE FOR HER.
THAT IS JUST NOT
TRUE, YET ANOTHER CASE WHERE YOU DIDN'T CHECK ANY FACTS.
BUT YOU
CAN TELL, AH, BERNIE SANDERS FOLKS, IT DRIVES HIM CRAZY.
AND
HE SAYS --
AH, HERE WE GO.
THERE YOU GO.
LET IT OUT, JUSTIN.
BERNIE, HE
DESPISES THE DEMOCRATS.
HE HAS A PURITY TEST.
THEN HE GOES ON TO
SMEAR HIM.
LISTEN TO WHAT HE WRITES --
-- THIS IS REFERRING TO WHAT HE CLAIMS IS BERNIE'S STANCE --
NOW, WHEN DID BERNIE SANDERS TELL YOU THAT YOUR LADY PARTS
HAVE TO WAIT?
WHEN DID HE SAY BLACKS AND LATINOS HAVE TO WAIT?
HE NEVER SAID ANY OF THAT.
WHEN DID HE EVER SAY WHITE WORKING
CLASS?
HE NEVER SAID ANY OF IT.
HE JUST ACCUSED HIM OF BEING
SEXIST AND RACIST.
WE ARE RIGHT BACK IN THE MUCK.
THIS CIVIL WAR
IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE, WILL YOU FIGHT BACK OR NOT?
THE
ESTABLISHMENT WILL SMEAR US TO KNOW AND.
GOD KNOWS WHO THE
DAILY FLUFFERS ARE GETTING PAID BY, THEY ARE LIKE, ATTACK, CALL
BERNIE RACIST AND SEXIST.
WHY ARE THEY ATTACKING BERNIE IN THE
LEFT AGAIN?
BECAUSE BERNIE SANDERS WOULDN'T DO EXACTLY WHAT
HE WAS TOLD.
HE HESITATED BEFORE DIVORCING A DEMOCRATIC
CANDIDATE.
THEY ARE LIKE, GET IN LINE, BERNIE.
BOW YOUR HEAD.
HE
SAID I WANT TO DO PROGRESSIVE PRIORITIES, YOU GUYS AREN'T
VOTING THAT WAY.
GET IN LINE BERNIE, OR WE WILL RELEASE THE
HOUNDS.
AND THEY RELEASED THE HOUNDS.
THE WASHINGTON POST
DOESN'T ARTICLE ABOUT HOW WEIRD BERNIE SANDERS IS RIGHT AFTER HE
UPSETS THE ESTABLISHMENT, THEN DOES AN EPISODE ABOUT HOW BAD
HIS PODCAST SUCKS EVEN THOUGH IT'S THE NUMBER TWO PODCAST IN
THE COUNTRY, THEN THESE GUYS START ATTACKING US LEFT AND
RIGHT.
NOW IT TURNS OUT HE'S NOT JUST RACIST AND SEXIST, THEY
ALSO SAY --
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?
ONE THING BERNIE SANDERS HAS
SAID, OR ONE LAW HE HAS CHAMPIONED, THAT WOULD TELL YOU
HE'S AGAINST LGBT RIGHTS.
YOU CAN'T, BECAUSE HE HAS A STELLAR
RECORD ON THAT.
HE'S BEEN FIGHTING FOR THAT FOR DECADES
WELL HILLARY CLINTON AND YOUR ESTABLISHMENT BUDDIES WERE STILL
DEBATING GAY MARRIAGE.
WELL, MY POSITION ON THAT HAS EVOLVED.
IT
EVOLVED IN 2013.
NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SMEAR BERNIE IS NOT
SUFFICIENTLY PRO-LGBT RIGHTS?
WHY, TO PUT A HATCHET IN HIS
BACK?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT FACTS, IT'S ABOUT THE ESTABLISHMENT
ATTACKING ANYONE WHO IS NOT PROGRESSIVE.
AND JUSTIN, YOU ARE
NOT PROGRESSIVE.
IF YOU SAY POLITICIANS SHOULD TAKE
CORPORATE MONEY AND DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD AND WE SHOULDN'T DO
MEDICARE FOR ALL OR FIGHT FOR ANY PROGRESSIVE PRIORITIES OR
FIGHT FOR EDUCATION FOR ALL OF OUR KIDS TO HAVE THE AMERICAN
DREAM, THEN NO, THAT IS NOT A PROGRESSIVE POSITION.
SAD DAY
FOR YOU.
JUST ADMIT IT, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, SAY I KIND OF
LIKE THE PRO ESTABLISHMENT POSITION, THAT'S WHY I WORK AT
THE DAILY FLUFFER, THAT OUR WHOLE JOB.
JUST SAY IT, JUSTIN.
THEN IRONICALLY HE SAYS --
BUT WAIT A MINUTE, YOU JUST TOLD ME HE'S A SEXIST, RACIST,
AND AGAINST LGBT RIGHTS.
YOU IMPLIED THAT WHEN YOU SAID HE
DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WOMEN, HE DOESN'T PRIORITIZE BLACKS AND
LATINOS OR LGBT, SO WHY DO YOU SAY NOW THAT YOU PRETEND YOU ARE
ON HIS SIDE?
YOU ARE NOT PUSHING FOR THOSE PROGRESSIVE GOALS, SO
JUST SAY IT, JUSTIN.
STOP PRETENDING.
FINALLY BACK TO ME,
HE SAYS --
WELL, OKAY.
PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT GETTING
THINGS RIGHT NOW, IT'S TRUE, THEY ARE NOT REAL PROGRESSIVES.
WE AREN'T PRAGMATIC, WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET THINGS DONE.
LET
ME TALK ABOUT A GUY WHO TALKED ABOUT GETTING THINGS DONE NOW --
THAT WAS NOT ME OR BERNIE SANDERS, THAT WAS MARTIN LUTHER
KING, JR.
TALKING ABOUT THE FIERCE URGENCY OF NOW.
WHAT IS
NOT PRAGMATIC IS WHAT THE DEMOCRATIC ESTABLISHMENT HAS
DONE.
THEY HAVE LOST THE WHITE HOUSE TO A BUFFOON, BERNIE
SANDERS DIDN'T RUN AGAINST DONALD TRUMP, HILLARY CLINTON,
YOUR BELOVED HILLARY CLINTON, DID.
AND SHE WAS A MISERABLE
FAILURE.
YOU KNOW WHY WE HAVE DONALD TRUMP?
BECAUSE OF YOU.
BECAUSE OF HILLARY CLINTON AND THE ESTABLISHMENT.
THEY RAN A
STATUS QUO CAMPAIGN WHEN WE TOLD YOU THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DIDN'T
WANT STATUS QUO.
WE WARNED YOU ANYWHERE RIGHT AND YOU WERE
WRONG, AND IT STINGS AND UNFORTUNATELY YOUR GROTESQUE
ERROR LEADS TO ALL OF OUR PAIN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CAUSED DONALD
TRUMP.
SECONDLY YOU LOST THE SENATE WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU
WOULD WIN IT, YOU LOST THE HOUSE, THE SUPREME COURT, 69 OUT
OF 99 STATE LEGISLATURES.
WHAT PART OF THAT IS PRAGMATIC?
WHAT
PART OF THAT IS WINNING?
NO.
ESTABLISHMENT DEMOCRATS HAVE A
RECORD OF GROTESQUE FAILURE, HIDEOUS FAILURE.
THE REASON
JUSTICE DEMOCRATS EXISTS IN THE FIRST PLACE IS TO MAKE SURE THAT
WE STOP THOSE LOSSES.
OUR IDEA IS, RUN TO GET VOTES.
THAT IS
PRAGMATIC.
REPRESENT THE VOTERS ENABLE VOTE FOR YOU.
I KNOW TO
THE ESTABLISHMENT WHO IS SO USED TO PLEASING THE DONORS THAT
SEEMS LIKE AN OUTRAGEOUS THOUGHT, BUT IT ISN'T.
IT IS A
DEMOCRATIC THOUGHT.
AND WE WILL RUN IN PRIMARIES AND TAKE OUT
ALL THESE CORPORATE ESTABLISHMENT DEMOCRATS, AND
THEN WE WILL BEAT THE REPUBLICANS.
YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE
NO IDEA HOW TO DO THAT, SO STEP ASIDE, BUTCH.
WE'VE GOT IT FROM
HERE, GO FLUFF SOMEWHERE ELSE.
JUSTICEDEMOCRATS.COM.
WE WILL
MEET YOU IN THE BATTLEFIELD AND KICK THOSE ESTABLISHMENT
DEMOCRATS IN THE ASS, WE WILL TAKE THEIR SEATS, AND THEN WE
WILL MAUL THE REPUBLICANS BECAUSE WE AREN'T GOING TO RUN
PRO BANKER CAMPAIGNS, WE WILL RUN CAMPAIGNS WHERE WE TALK
ABOUT JOBS AND JUSTICE AND WE WILL WIN.
SO, LISTEN, WE WILL BE
IN THE BATTLEFIELD AND IF I'M WRONG YOU WILL GET TO WRITE AS
MANY SNARKY ARTICLES AS YOU LIKE.
BUT I WON'T BE WRONG, WE
WILL CRUSH YOU.