I'm going to tell you in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and
I've helped millions of people on this channel and
thousands of people go from lives of drama, trauma, chaos,
to freedom, actual freedom, where the fear disappears,
where they're actually free of the narcissist and
I want help you do the same thing.
So, make sure you subscribe to this channel,
because I upload brand new videos every single day and
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What happens when that narcissist realizes life just sucks without you?
It's the best first of all, so here's the thing,
here's like total paradox and
I've had to deal with narcississts in my real life,
not just in my law practice,
yes, I've had to deal with them in my law practice,
I've had a lot of them as clients, as opposing counsel,
as judges, as opposing clients, even as employees sometimes,
not too many of those, thank goodness,
but, I've had to deal with them,
but the worst ones I've had to deal with
have been covert narcissists that have actually targeted me.
Let me tell you, not fun. The worst.
Here’s what I call the Narcissists’ Paradox.
The Narcissist Paradox is, they treat you like crap the entire time
but then they don't want you to leave.
They're shocked when you leave,
they are desperate for you to stay,
but you want to run the hell out of there;
like your hair is on fire, you’re running the hell away,
like your body is on fire, you want to get the hell out of there,
but they are like, “Oh my God, you're leaving, what?”.
Like, they don't want you to go,
but yet the whole time you were there,
they kind of gave you the impression that life sucks with you.
They are so screwed up, these people,
they’re really so screwed up in a lot of ways,
but yes, they literally hate you and it's a mess.
In a lot of ways, they do hate you in some ways.
I actually have a video on “Eight reasons why narcissists hate you”,
you definitely want to check that out.
But you can't wait to get the hell out of there, I know,
but then they have a major meltdown because you actually left,
why do they have a major meltdown because you left?
Not because they miss you,
they're going to say it's because they miss you,
they miss the oxygen source that you are,
the food source that you are,
they miss the supply that you are, okay?
They miss what you bring to them,
whatever was that you were bringing to them.
It's not good.
It's not what you want,
you don't want to be missed in that way,
they were using you,
I can't say it in any nicer way,
I mean, the truth of the matter is
they were using you for whatever it is they were using you for,
I mean, as a supply source.
So, they're desperate, desperate to get you back,
they're desperate to get whatever supply back you were to them,
because they were using you.
So, they were using you for money, sex,
maybe it was company, maybe it was you loving them in some way,
but it was not because of you.
They do have a desperate, massive fear of abandonment and
they will go through stages rage, anger,
they definitely took you for granted and
they really did think you would stick around and
they really do see things in black and white and
they really will want to go after you,
so they will do things to retaliate,
they will line up flying monkeys and
they’re gonna go through this rage, anger,
they will try to line up other forms of supply,
it's a desperate measure to sort of replace the supply that you were,
because they need that supply,
so they're going to want to try to replace
whatever the form of supply was that you were.
So, whatever it was, whether it is in the form of a flying monkey,
somebody else, whether it's trying to get your attention.
So, if you're in a lawsuit situation,
they may try to do that,
they may file all kinds of motions against you,
use the court system against you,
try to replace one form of supply with another, by,
“Okay, if you're not going to give me supply
in the form of money, or sex, or attention,
I'm going to replace it in another way,
by manipulating you, controlling you and
making your life miserable,
using the court system against you,
using the kids against you, whatever I need to”.
“Maybe I'll try to make you feel guilty,
maybe I will love- bomb you, flood you”.
If they realize you're not coming back,
then they will start to struggle.
They will start to come undone,
they may really have a crisis of self,
because they don't have a sense of self.
They may start to stalk you,
I mean, depending on how malignant they are,
they may start to stalk you, there may be violence,
there may be threats of violence,
but they won’t feel remorse if they're a real narcissist and
they’re not going to feel remorse for you.
They may be watching you,
I mean, they're super creepy.
They may begrudgingly move on to another form of supply,
if they have to,
which is what you want.
You want them to climb on down the road,
you need them to do that,
because true narcissists, they're not going to be rehabilitated,
at least that’s what you have to come to terms with,
you have to come to terms with, you’re not getting closure,
they're not going to come back to you and say,
“I'm sorry”, you're not going to get that,
“I didn't appreciate you” and “I took you for granted”,
“I'm sorry”, you're not going to get that,
“Oh, let's stay friends”, none of that is going to happen.
So just forget about all of that,
the closure you're going to get is,
you found out this person was not a good person.
Move on and find somebody who can appreciate you and
heal yourself, become whole and complete,
so you don't repeat the pattern for the next time and
let that person be who they are,
otherwise, you just have to know that they're going to figure out,
that they're going to have to get a different form of supply and
they'll probably keep watching you, they’ll keep comparing,
they'll figure out, is that person…?
Do they have a better form of supply?
How are they doing? Am I doing better than they are?
Because they don't have a sense of self,
but you can heal yourself and
the best thing you can do is move on and forget about them.
Hopefully, you'll no longer care.
They don't have that sense of self,
so they'll keep watching, they'll keep comparing and
they'll keep doing, let them do that.
You forget about them, don't look back.
Like that old Boston song, “Don't Look Back”.
That's what you want to do and that's my best advice to you.
I have done it myself and it is seriously the best.
I highly recommend that you subscribe to this channel,
I do upload new videos everyday,
I am on a mission for you guys to get free.
I do want you to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
if you haven't done that yet.
Make sure you get that at winmynegotiation.com.
Join my free private Facebook group,
if you haven't done that so far.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I'm here for you. Today is a great day to slay.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I will see you guys in the next video!