Hi, my name is Paul Friedman. I founded The Marriage Foundation and we get this
question from time to time, and it's -- He wants a prenup, are they a good idea?
I'm not giving you legal advice, I'm not a lawyer anyway. I'm going to
give you suggestions that will help create harmony in your future marriage
because look -- there is this side of marriage that in this world has to be
taken very seriously and that is the practical side. Now, prenups are a way of
the man and sometimes the woman expressing concern that there is a small
percentage of doubt, that's okay. Can you imagine living life with having
zero doubt and we get these emails all the time and you could write to our
counselors for suggestions when you're married and pre-marriage, you should take
the premarital course anyway, about I trusted him 100% and bam! Well, no one
trusts anybody 100%, I'm sorry. We are in animal bodies. We're spirit
we're souls and we have a body and we have a mind and these bodies are
animal bodies, and they are designed for survival and they're sending messages to
the brain. The mind constantly that you have to protect yourself, you have to be
careful. It's ludicrous to not pay attention to it. It's also ludicrous to
pay too much attention. There's a balance and a prenup if it's
done correctly so obviously, you have to have a lawyer too but if it's done
correctly there's nothing unfair or unreasonable about one and if you're
attached to why doesn't he trust me completely that isn't fair
that's not honoring his caution. You're marrying a man partially for protection.
This is again an instinctive reality so to now say well, "He should be protecting
me and have all of these instincts and all of these traits that are protective
of me and my future children but he should never have that for me." It's not
reasonable so reasonableness is a big male term. You have to respect
your future husband, you have to respect your fiance as a man and reasonableness
is part of being a man and it's what you want in your marriage anyway
and you should be focused on other things that are important. Now again, I'm
going to reiterate, nothing wrong with a prenup if it's a good prenup and you are
obligated with your caution not to push him away because he wants to express
caution but also to be cautious and hire a lawyer a good one really good one to
take a look at the prenup he wants you to sign - it's not that complicated. Don't
ruin your relationship with him by complaining about it, don't do that
and be the wrong thing to do. It would not be healthy for your
marriage, what is healthy for your upcoming marriage is to take the
premarital course that we offer so both of you understand marriage well enough
so that your chances of getting a divorce in the future are pretty much
zero because you understand what you're getting into. I hope this was
helpful. I hope you like it enough to like it, share it. It's very important
information and blessings to you, blessings to your fiance, and your future
family. God bless!