Here's a question we got, "Why does my
wife
keep accusing me of cheating?"
And I'm going to get into this a little bit
more deeply so you
can have a context so you can really do
something about this.
My name is Paul Friedman. I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and I've been doing this for over 20
years. I used to be a divorce
mediator so I really have seen
it all and I believe I can help you
with this.
In fact, bring your marriage, help you see
how you could bring your marriage to a
level
that really will be so much better.
So we have to take a look at human
nature
and ask ourselves, well,
why is she doing that? And
the answer actually is pretty simple if
you were objective and you had
some training, you would realize
that okay, I can put it into simple terms.
The best defense is a good offense.
So she's afraid,
she is afraid that she doesn't have you.
You see, when a man and a woman get
married
there is this massive outer commitment.
Unfortunately, there isn't
usually a massive inner commitment
as well meaning as we may be because we
are not taught that.
I would wager you that you got married
without having
any plan for your marriage which
if you think about how crazy that is.
I mean
you get a new car, first thing you do is
open the manual.
You got to see what you have to do to
take care of it even if you buy a shirt,
you check to see what the washing
instructions are, the care instructions
but when you get married it's like, "Oh
I'm getting married,"
and it's like going for a ride at
Disneyland but it's not.
It's a complicated thing marriage and
you don't know anything about it.
She didn't either. It's not your fault.
We're not
taught. When did you ever take a class on
relationships
or how gender impacts our
psyche? You don't know these things,
Because of that
we make huge errors,
we miss important signs.
We miss cues and clues.
And so, you're getting a huge
cue here that you're
not providing her with enough
substantive expressions
of loving for the rest of your life.
And so, she is scared. Now
you may go, "Oh well, I can fix that. I'll
just tell her I love her more often,"
which you should and, "I will be more
attentive," which you should be
but none of that is going to work until
you literally change who you are.
And that may sound huge when I say that
but think about what composes
who you are. And by the way, you should
definitely subscribe to this channel. Go
ahead and do it now. I'll give you a
second.
Okay now, who you are?
Who is that guy? Who is your wife?
It is the whole of the parts
and the parts are habits.
We are a composition of our habits.
Now the truth is we're not that. The
truth is
we are a soul who has a mind and has a
body
but when we think about people, we're
thinking about
sort of the manifestations of their
thinking
in general. So your thinking
doesn't include being
expressive in the way where your wife
needs it, where you're expressing
unconditional love
and unconditional loyalty.
It's not in your makeup. So the way to
combat this
is not by faking it.
It won't work but what will work is if
you start
changing your thinking. If you're
watching your thoughts
which by the way is a very spiritual
thing to do. I don't know if you're aware
of this
but monks and nuns, people who go on a
religious path of renunciation. One of
the first things they learn in virtually
every religion is something called
dispassionate introspection
where you're constantly watching your
thoughts. Now they're doing it to make
sure they're thinking about God.
In marriage, you're doing it to be
thinking about your spouse
to being positive. You're correcting your
thoughts
all the time. You're changing out the
thoughts
that are detrimental or neutral
with thoughts that are positive
loving and very beneficial.
It's a whole art. It's a whole science.
You should go to the website we have
themarriagefoundation.org. See what we have
to offer
because that's what's going to really
help.
So will it help with this problem? Yeah.
This problem is nothing.
It's a pain in the butt problem
but, why settle? Why just
have that taken care of? Why not go for
the whole
thing? A marriage that is functioning as
it
should which means you have to learn
what marriage is all about
creates an environment that is off
the charts. There's literally nothing
like it.
You are floating on cloud nine all the
time.
It's amazing and you could read the
reviews that we have and all that but
that's what we do. We don't solve
problems.
They continually come at you.
We help you redefine your marriage
that's why you have to watch these
videos. It'll help you so subscribe.
Leave a like, leave a comment. You can ask
a question
and this is very serious stuff because
we're talking about marriage.
Marriage is the biggest part of your
life and you want your wife to be happy.
She's obviously not right now.
So visit us again. Thank you for spending
time with me
and God bless! Take care!