Codependency is most often associated with a pleaser or altruistic personality, because
individuals tend to go against the odds to please their loved ones.
Usually, they would take the bullet and withstand the pain, so long as they meet the other person's
needs.
Even though they seem to be okay with something in a relationship, in reality, they are not.
Codependency is typically confused for a personality disorder, mainly because the facts about it
aren't clear cut.
Some of the signs and symptoms of codependency can include, lowered self-esteem, anxiousness
and clinginess, difficulty in making decisions, fear of abandonment and self-doubt.
Therefore, to improve edification on this topic, in this video, we will discuss some
interesting facts about codependency.
1.
Childhood Experiences May Cause It
A more significant part of the cause of codependency is that childhood experiences one faces can
increase signs and symptoms of displaying codependency.
Children learn fast from their environment and absorb traumatic experiences twice as
fast as adults.
And since their brains are still developing and learning, they can unfortunately take
traumatic family experiences as the norm.
As a result, it affects their behavior and they grow to be codependent adults.
The reason is, that it's ingrained in them that love is dispensed with some points of
pain.
As they grow into adults, their self-esteem can take a hit when facing difficulties in
relationships.
When they find that people they are in a relationship with, do not show concern, they can become
self-conscious and insecure.
However, even in a toxic environment or relationship, they will tolerate and accept negative interactions
and will in turn invest more energy into winning the attention, approval or love of their desired
counterpart.
2.
It's Not A Mental Disorder
Many people assume that codependency is a personality disorder, but typically, it's
not.
Codependency is more of a behavioral issue due to external factors such as childhood
trauma and past demeaning personal relationship experiences.
However, the prolonged feeling of low self-esteem in more toxic relationships and interactions
can drive people to overstretch.
They may end up caring more about the other person and less about themselves, and eventually
suffer depression and anxiety attacks.
If it so happens that they don't receive the affection and attention they're craving for,
they reach a critical point that without a correct intervention, they may in fact develop
a real personality disorder.
3.
It's A Learned Behavior
Codependency is cognitive, and people in an over-demanding relationship, learn from these
stressful experiences.
As a result, it invokes negative thought patterns, and sets a continuous cycle of distorted resolve
to adapt and overcompensate to maintain the fabric of a desired relationship.
However, behaviors aren't disorders, and individuals can correct them.
Changing the symptoms of codependency is feasible through self-reflection, self-focus, and discipline
to resist the urge to overcompensate every time you feel your codependent symptoms expressing
themselves, or displaying signs of codependency.
4.
It's An Enabling Trait
One dominant trait of codependent people is their unwavering ability to enable others.
The flip side is that they tend to overdo it, and forget about taking care of themselves.
They don't ask many questions, and even if it hurts them, they will do it anyway.
Codependency can worsen if it feels like the other person is less concerned and continuously
busy.
5.
High Sensitivity To Criticism
Codependents falter at the slightest criticism, but don't behave erratically like a narcissist
would.
Instead, they respond discreetly but assertively.
They will double their efforts and become more enabling or clingy compared to what they
already are.
In most cases, severe criticism makes them overly eager to prove their critics wrong.
Inevitably, they forget that they have a responsibility to care about themselves.
Codependents are the typical individuals familiar in most rhetoric about people who would sacrifice
everything, including their time, and material wealth entirely, to please someone.
6.
Responsible and Caring
Take it or leave it, codependents are a caring and responsible lot and usually show concern
and effort for others.
They are the typical 'right-hand man and will do things responsively and responsibly.
Even if it means pain without gain.
They are often confused with altruistic people, but the reality is, they're doing it to gain
affection and the other person's attention.
7.
They Ask Less About What They Need
The focus for codependents is usually on the other person and less on themselves.
This attribute makes them forget about themselves because they ask less about what they lack
and need.
More often, they feel empty but won't tell.
Instead, they will put on a happy face while they're burning on the inside.
People often misunderstand codependency and mistake it for a mental health and personality
disorder.
The truth is that codependency is only an acquired behavior and can be unlearned.
Codependency is common, especially in over-exploitive relationships, and the balance is usually
tipped.
However, through discipline, focus, and determination, this energy-draining trait is preventable.
Do you know of someone in a codependent relationship?
Share your story with us in the comments.
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