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Never bet on something you can't win
*Intro
Hi, probably you're asking yourself two thinks.
Where were you, Germán?
And you're asking yourself too.
Why are you shirtless?! Lord Jesus!
The first I answered vaguely on my Facebook.
And the second, for something I put on my Twitter.
Last week " C R I S" told me that if I didn't upload video on Friday, I would have to do a video naked or in chnjxkl.l,mnvbcdnsma,lpants.
And I said her "Deal done!"
Because I was sure I would make video.
But... I didn't make video.
And as I'm a man of my word!
...not so much word to fulfill upload videos every Friday.
But I kept a promise!
Anyway!
This week we'll talk about cinema.
Why?
For a mystical and powerful reason,
beyond your understanding,
for a reason that no one will ever know,
a reason so strong and spectacula-
Because today I went to the cinema, for that.
The cinema lately has become so epic
Strong music, giant screens.
You almost feel that you are inside the movie.
I don't know if it will be just me.
But every time I saw a film,
I want to be like the guy of the film.
For example, when I saw "Fast and Furious".
Wow, I want to drive cars really fast!
Or when I saw "The Godfather".
Wow, I want to be a mobster!
Or when I saw "Brokeback Mountain".
Wow, I want to be so gay!
For example, I once saw a fight movie.
And I wanted to fight purely!
Haha! Wow, was really good the movie!
I want to fight, I wish someone would assault me or something like that to beat him up.
I would break his face!
This is an assault!
Something uncomfortable to go to the cinema are the seats.
They are too close!
Apart, where you puts the arm is the same where the person next to you puts his arm.
And so it is logical that sometimes these things happen:
You fucking pig!
That happens to me often, it is always a stinking fat, never a sexy blonde.
Something I hate about movies is when you're late.
You go running to the cinema with only one minute left to start the movie.
But you need to buy your popcorn.
Nobody goes to the cinema and he don't buy popcorns.
So, you go to buy it
But it can't be a good idea.
Hi, can you give me a bag of popcorns?
Yes, what size?
Small!
Do you wish enlarge your popcorn for U$S 1.45.
No, only small!
If you enlarge your popcorn we give you a 20% discount next time you-
I said no!! And can you give me a drink?
We have of orange, apple, strawberry...
Orange!
banana, grape, watermelon...
Orange!!
Ok...
Do you wish enlarge your drink for...
The faster you are, the slower people move.
The cinema also serve to detect a true...
Male who is respected!
For example, if a friend tell you
Yesterday I saw a movie with a super sexy girl!
Cool, champion, and... what did you do?
Em... watch the movie.
But he says you...
Yesterday I saw a movie with a super sexy girl!
Ah, and how was the movie?
Pff... I don't know. We were the whole movie kissing.
Man who is respected!
Nobody goes to the cinema with a super sexy girl and they see the movie.
Something strange of the cinema are the traditions.
Because why are there so many things?
If a man and a woman goes to the cinema...
The boy always have to pay everything.
Like he assumes that he has to be the man.
Well, now no.
But before yes.
But a few years ago, something strange happened to me.
Hey, do you like to go the cinema with me?
I would like but now I doesn't have money.
Ah, don't worry. Be my guest!
In fact, I already bought the tickets.
Cool, and what movie is it?
Twilight.
The bad thing about watching a movie in the movies is that you can't pause the movie.
And if you get up in the bathroom, for example?
You miss part of the movie
If you're thirsty...
you'll wait.
If you're hungry...
You'll wait.
So someone have to invent techniques to satisfy your needs.
And don't miss the movie.
Oh, god, I have to fart.
But if I do it in here, everybody will hear me!
Think, Germán, think.
I know! I'll wait until a explosion in the movie, so people don't will hear me!
"The bomb will explote, we have to do something!"
"There's nothing to do!"
"Oh, god, no!"
"The bomb will explote in 5...
I must wait!
4...3...2...1....
"I disable it!"
But, well, go to the cinema is great!
You see movies in giant screens
With good sounds and everything is good!
But it is so expensive.
So, as long as we all finished doing this...
Hi.
What?
Good morning!
What's the best movie?
Well, we have a selection of really good movies. But the most sold is "Easy to kill".
This is a guy who with a gun kills thousands of people and wins the war. It's super good.
Ah, cool.
So, do you want a ticket to see the movie?
Nah, I just wanted to know the name to download it pirate in my house. Bye!
Question!
What was the last movie you saw in the movies?
I saw "Barbie and the Charmed Castle... No, I mean!
300! A movie to real men like-!
Anyway!
And this was the video of the month! Pff!
And this was the video of the week! If you like it, please click Like button of down!
If this is the first time you see my videos and you liked it, subscribe. It's free.
Don't forget to follow me in my lovely and sensual Facebook.
And in my not to sensual and, in fact, really horrible Twitter.
And if you didn't see my gaming canal, pff, you should.
There I upload videos every day.
Don't forget subscribe.
And, it's good be here again!
I missed you a lot!