I've realized is that my passions don't bring me like happiness my passions are
something that bring me better almost like something to do this was
literally one of the most depressing videos I've ever seen what is up
everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and if you need my channel by channel is all about trying
to help you improve your mental and emotional well-being so if you're into
that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and win that notification belt
because what I like to do is pull things from the YouTube community and so yeah
he's been doing a we need to talk about this dude brandon calvillo and he recently interviewed Elle Mills all right and hey
don't get mad at me about the clickbait either because idubbbz did it with his
rice gum content cop video you all thought it was about Jake Paul this
video is not about this obnoxious arrogant soul it's about an entirely
different obnoxious arrogant ol some of you might be pleasantly surprised with
who this video is actually about so yeah anyways like watching this video
watching this video I'm just sitting there thinking I'm like man I could not
hang out with this dude Brandon calvillo because he is a bummer and I just want to make
it very clear this is not a knock at Brandon calvillo like if he was somebody in my
life I would have to set up some boundaries or try to help him or both
and if you want some more information about setting boundaries and why I say
things like that go watch my last video about Shane Dawson and Kati Morton and
their level three recession but yeah anyway it's like Elle
Mills had a fairly public mental breakdown in burnt out at 19 and everybody talks to a
better life that's like one of the things she's known for this conversation
like Brandon actually did a lot of the talking you gotta change your
perspective baby um so yeah I will I will talk about one thing that el mill
said in this clip right here I don't know I've been like going into the gym
like working out like you know doing eating healthy so yeah like I just want
you guys to start thinking like just start thinking like I just find it
interesting I find it really interesting whenever you ask somebody about how
they're improving their mental health the first thing they say is I'm eating
better and exercising like it's not just adjusting like we're talking about
mental health but the first thing people say is physical health okay and yeah I
know some of you out there like oh look this fat guy here is talking about
physical health don't make me happy stop it I'm on a
weight-loss journey thank you very much but anyways like don't you think that's
interesting because something that is a theme throughout this video as well as
with a lot of other youtuber videos is that they thought that being a youtuber
would make them happy and I just want to plant this seed in your head like just
know that losing weight and getting to the you know that perfect size may not
make you happy either I just want people to know that or you're just chasing
another thing that won't fill that void that you have inside I just want you to
think about that happiness in order for me to still have true happiness as I
continue to lose weight yeah I might seem a little harsh in this
video but I just want explain to you like how people in your life like their
perspective is messed up and you need to hang around people who have a better
perspective okay because they are there to be the optimist for y'all is actually
just talking to somebody on Twitter and some time when I was in exact the last
video I was replying to them and they went from having this big issue and
within like four tweets there like they said I noticed that too
it's a pride thing possibly we all have habits and behaviors we don't understand
what is this feeling dot-dot-dot optimism comfort what have
you done right and like I'm not told me to keep me around but keep people like
me around like I am here to offer a different perspective on things because
I get it I've been depressed I've been in that nihilistic state you know I've
been in the existential crises I've been in all those things but now I am an
optimist you need to keep those types of people around I've realized that it I
work is not something that makes anybody happy
I don't think work or passions make people happy I think that happiness
thing like comes you kind of like don't realize it until you're in it and it
only lasts for like a like a few minutes like really being very happy yeah lasts
for like a few minutes and it's in it can be it's usually something not
involving work or like structure it's usually just a random moment
this is like nobody likes their job like what what do like your perspective is
messed up if you think nobody likes their job like I'm letting all of you
know that you know why cuz I love what I do I love what I do I get to work with
people all day who are struggling with addiction and mental illness and I get
to help them you know what I love it so much that I come home and I make all
these videos that zach has to edit that's how much I love it right
but like what I think I notice a lot about Brandon is that he surrounds
himself with a lot of life not great people I'm not saying they're bad people
but I think he's getting sucked into that kind of pessimistic worldview
because that's what we surrounds himself with surround yourself with people who
love their job and you're going to see that other people love their job and I
did I wasn't rapid thinking cuz I think everybody is always has terrible anxiety
and always thinking like terrible thoughts and like or deny even terrible
thoughts but just racing thoughts and they don't stop like you think a
thousand dots a second this was one of the most interesting parts of the videos
one of the just most interesting parts of the video because I can relate so
much like Brendon talks about how happiness is this fleeting thing it's
this fleeting moment you talked about how everybody's mind races and nobody
can actually have happiness for longer periods of time I can relate to that but
one of the problems with mental illness and with our mental health is not in a
good place is that we sink we think that this is normal for the rest of the world
and I was living in that for a very very long time I was like nobody's happy
everybody's miserable we're all just chasing the next dopamine hit but that's
not the case that's not the case at all and here's my suggestion here's my
suggestion for you if you think happiness is fleeting or if you can
relate to Brandon or if you are Brandon you just happen to stumble across this
video happiness is not fleeting that moment that he talks about on the Santa
Monica Pier that happens all day long the problem is is that we don't notice
it okay those racing thoughts what Brandon is explaining in that moment is
this thing I keep telling you all about called mindfulness okay Brandon needs to
meditate you need to meditate when I started meditating three years ago what
I was doing was training my brain to capture those moments more more often
throughout the day but for other people like they're just getting a glimpse
they're getting a glimpse at what so many of us so many of us who practice
meditation get all the time and now some of you are gonna say Chris how do I
start I have an entire playlist about
meditation a ton of videos how to start meditating also always tell you you just
type in free meditation app on your phone and you'll find some so you can
get started I've noticed that it's all of the sent like all the same very much
depressed but secretly yeah very secretly not really put an end in just
constantly cracking jokes which is fine that's what people do in order to feel
comfortable yeah I've noticed that it's this hidden like river of sadness in
these people and everybody's there and everybody is almost like everyone feels
that but no one's saying anything about it you go to conventions in life they
don't really talk about it but like everybody's depressed like what I'm a
perfect example I made a video about getting to 20,000 subscribers and I said
this quote and I will say it again if you want what I have then you got to do
what I do that's how I started improving my mental health I found people who were
genuinely happy despite any circumstances in their lives I found
those people my what are you doing to achieve that happiness and I stuck to
them I clung to them I followed them I walked in their footsteps I might teach
me everything okay so again I think Bravin is in a bubble where he's hanging
out with people who just aren't truly happy say something about somebody who's
there because they don't want to like have beef with that person and then that
person is gonna like fire back at them over twitter because they found out high
school yeah and yeah it's just a lot of really antisocial trying to be social
yeah there's two rules there's two rules always be honest and don't be a dick
okay if you do those two things you don't got to worry about what you're
gonna say okay if you remember those two things always
be honest and don't be a dick the second one's really important
because something some people are honest too often and it makes them a dick you
know it's weird it's strange like I I feel like I don't have any skills yeah
like I'm like even if I wanted to do something else I have no fucking clue
yeah because I haven't spent the last five years like I don't know crafting
some sort of like skill like I can't like build things I can't like make a
building I can't so this is crazy this is crazy and this is why you need more
people with optimistic points of views in your life like so many people so many
people like little hungry skills I don't have any trade listen to words coming
out of my mouth I have a contracted job with a company that is paying me because
of everything I've learned with this YouTube channel with my Instagram with
my Facebook with my Twitter since I learned grow those on my own I am now
doing work for somebody else so I have acquired skills through what I'm doing
and now I can do it for someone else for money so Brandon if you don't like
making YouTube videos help other people with their YouTube videos okay
and if you're watching this all of you out there I want you to think about what
other skills you have acquired okay whether it's organization skills
something like waning I would say he has people skills that's important in
customer service and sales so like do not get this narrow scope like I could
sit down with anybody anybody and tell them the list of skills that they have I
guess I mean it seems like you're on the right path I'm working on it I think
definitely it's good that I've made some progress right so I just think I think
it's gonna be trial and error and just figuring it out
and I feel like eventually I'm still young so eventually I'll hold you I'm 20
you're 20 yeah okay oh man yeah what they just said right there so
many people in their early 20s mid twenties whatever it is they have these
like moments what am I doing with my life
ah that's what I was saying at the Marzia video right like so many people
go through that hi I'm wonderful but listen to the words coming out of my
mouth are you ready I was a drug addict and alcoholic until I was 27 years old
27 years old Elle Mills is 20 Brandon is 24 if a guy
like me can screw up his life and go back down to zero by the time he was 27
years old and now I have an amazing life today trust me it is not too late for
you to figure out what you're gonna do that's what more people need to be
watching and listening to Gary Vaynerchuk because he says this over and
over and over again if you are in your 20s and you are watching this video you
have so much time to figure things out this experiment find what you like to do
go do it because if somebody like me like can screw up until they're 27 I
didn't really get on my feet until I was 30 and things are going really great at
33 you can do it too especially cuz you're younger than me hotter than me
and have more energy than me because what's he gonna do yeah what is what is
you feeling panic and feeling all this stuff unless you can't help it but if
you're willingly thinking these things and and and you're going down a rabbit
hole of more and more like darkness than just what is it doing
yeah it's not it's not like you're gonna get to the bottom of this hole and
there's gonna be like a pad which way into like happiness yeah it's
just your your you digging yourself and you just it's not there's no point to
feeling that way well here I found this very interesting because wait he'll you
see Brandon and Elle kind of noticing their own thinking chops right they're
noticing the patterns and they're thinking and as when it's hockey I'm
sitting there I'm thinking I'm like you know what maybe Brandon even if he
doesn't know this maybe Brandon isn't so much interviewing people for
entertainment or for content but maybe maybe this is really therapeutic for
Brandon some creators just by doing things like this it actually helps them
process some things because a lot of the advice he was gonna tell Mills might
have helped himself does that ever make you wonder if me making these videos
helps me out more than it helps you hmm as I've gotten older I realized like
there's not much when you have like these conversations there's not much
that you can do to like actually give advice it's more towards the end it's
good to know that you're not alone and that you could vent yes yes why do you
think I created the Facebook group and the community around that it's great to
talk and know that we're not alone but you know what figure it out you know
what I figured out a long time ago that only gets you so far
finally people we can relate to and vent teal only gets us so far that's why I
always say we talk about the problem but focus on the solution because if we just
sit there and just know that other people are miserable like we are and
what we start doing is surrounding ourselves with miserable people you need
to start surrounding yourself with people who help you get into the
solution is what you need to do so surround yourself with people who can
relate to your problems but they help push you towards the solution but
anyways the topic the overall topic of this video was happiness so aside from
all the meditation stuff I babble about I'm gonna give you three book
recommendations that I will link down in the description below okay the first one
is the book called happiness advantage the name of shawn Achor he is a
professor of positive psychology I believe Harvard University
his entire field of psychology is helping people find happiness okay so
make sure you check out this book cuz there's a lot a lot if you're like a
science nerd if you're into science and psychology you need to read this book
you have scientific studies that can help you develop better happiness in
your life this next one is one of my favorite
books one of my favorite books I wish every youtuber had to read this I wish
everyone had to read this and this is the book called super rich by Russell
Simmons those of you who don't know who Russell Simmons is he is the brother of
run from Run DMC Russell Simmons started Def Jam Records and he is you know he
found meditation through yoga he does Transcendental Meditation I do
mindfulness meditation but if you read super rich you are going to understand
how things will not make you happy last viñales is this book meditation for
sensitive skeptics this book is written by Dan Harris he is an anchor for I
think Good Morning America he had a public panic attack like a national
television if you go to youtube and type in news anchor panic attack that's him
he is the number one search one but anyways because of that panic attack
because that terrible thing that is like he found meditation and since then he
wrote a book called 10% happier this is the sequel to that book where he's an
amazing they call him the MacGyver of meditation
he helps teach you how to turn anything you're doing into a meditation right so
I highly recommend you check out this book meditation for fidgety skeptics so
remember remember pain is inevitable suffering is optional if you are
suffering that is your choice I provided resources down in the description below
what you do with them is completely up to you all right but let's do this down
to the comments before you leave before you leave me down in the comments below
let me know do you surround yourself with optimists or pessimists
okay and if you want to go a step further what are you gonna do
fix that or change that like how do you think it's affecting your mental health
all right let's not the conversation and support each other down in the comments
below okay but anyways that's all I got with this video if you like this video
please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure to subscribe and bring that
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that picture on icon alright thanks so much for watching stay happy and I'll
see you next time