I'm gonna start. Uh, quickly, guys...
I feel like I'm too old to be on this panel, man.
-No. I mean... -Especially with her.
I feel like I'm in an R. Kelly biopic right now.
(laughter, applause)
-I mean, so do... -My... my mind told me no!
-Donnell... -I'm sorry, no disrespect.
Donnell, you have to lean into the benefits of racism.
No one white can tell how old you are.
-(laughter) -Could be 13.
You could be W.E.B. Du Bois, we don't know.
I'm the Morgan Freeman of comedy right now.
Nobody knows how old I am.
30 to 60, I guess.
Uh, I want to tell you how I met this young lady.
-You look lovely tonight. -Thank you.
-Donnell, you look fine. -(laughter) -Thank you.
-And, uh, no, we... -And I look amazing.
You look great. You're always ten out of ten.
She and I were at a restaurant about two years ago.
I went over to get a picture with her.
And you were very nice about it.
Then, of course, I posted it and put something snarky,
-and then she... -Hello.
(laughter)
She said something sort of mean back.
And then what happened-- I'd never been involved in this--
all the comments got in fights.
Her fans-- by the way, they were killing mine.
Because mine put up a little bit of a fight,
but hers were like, "I'll blow your head off with a shotgun."
I'm like, "I'm out. All right."
And, like, they laid down, they were like,
-"Spade, we kind of like it." -No, but fans are crazy!
-Oh, yeah. Yours are crazi-er. -No, the...
And it's crazy, because even if I'm, like, "No, it's cool,"
-they're still like (screams) Like... -Yeah.
They were really protecting you like fire ants,
-and I was getting stung... -Yo, when I... when I saw
that she was on the show today, I got nervous as hell.
I was like, "I don't want none of that Dr. Phil energy
-on this show. -Yeah, yeah.
I was like this. I know how she get down, sir.
We-we got Dr. Phil himself.
(laughter)
-I... -RAWLINGS: That's the "before"
of the "after" of Dr. Phil.
Anyway, so we...
they go, "She has 14 million followers.
She's more famous than you. You have one million."
I go, "Yeah, she's more famous if you go by facts."
-(laughter) -Uh, but anyway, we made up, right?
And then we... and I did your music video,
-"Gucci Flip Flops," which was a big deal. -Yeah.
-And then, uh, now we're friends. -(cheering, applause)
-"Gucci Flip Flops"? -Yeah.
Look at us!
Yeah, that's us.
BHABIE: We should get this made out of diamonds
and just put it in both of our living rooms...
Well, I can't afford it, but maybe you can get two of them.
(laughter)
Uh, Lindsay Lohan...
You know Lindsay Lohan, you might, you do.
BHABIE: Yeah. She was in that movie, Mean Girls.
SPADE: She was in Mean Girls, that's right.
Lindsay Lohan is releasing
her first new music video since 2005,
with a single called "Xanax."
-Uh... -(laughter)
Of course it is.
Write about what you love.
-SPADE: That's right. -Yeah, they always say
when you write you have to talk about, like,
things that are happening in the moment, like...
I don't know if that was the name of it
or it was her lunch order, but, uh, she...
She's doing an alb-- She's doing music of...
Yeah. What do you like, her first album better?
-I didn't even know she was a singer. -Yeah.
But she's been locked up enough,
I know she's gonna come out a gangster rap album next.
Yeah, she's probably got so much shit right now.
-Yeah. -Donnell, Donnell,
-being a drug addict... -Why do you got to say my name
and do this shit right here?
Just talk to me, like, what you about...
I just love drama, my-- all of my people do.
-RAWLINGS: Okay. -Um...
Like, being a drug addict is her career,
music is her passion.
Um... But I get worried
who's gonna run that beach club on Mykonos?
She's gonna be off making music,
and, like, those guys gay Greek guys
are gonna start stealing from her.
She's on the Australian, uh-- what's that show--
Masked Singer now.
She's playing-- I think she's playing a bumblebee,
or maybe she's playing someone who got stung by bumblebees.
(laughter)
Uh, oh, wait, Nicki Minaj.
Oh, her fans went into a panic.
Listen to this one, guys.
She tweeted that she's retiring to start a family.
Is this the end of the twerk era?
No. Me and Cardi got y'all.
We're gonna be here, ah...
I'm not looking. I'm not looking.
I didn't see anything.
That's-That is the problem right there.
Nicki Minaj is the iPhone 7 of bad bitches.
We have Lizzo, we have Cardi B now.
She just can't-- she can't compete.
But she didn't retire, Cardi B retired her.
-Well, let's say something. -Yes. That's very true.
Hold on. No, y'all, y'all, okay.
-As much as... -Oh, are we gonna start clapping now?
-Yeah. -As much as Nicki...
-Are we drink throwing? -RAWLINGS: All right.
No. You have to save that for the end.
Um, anyways, yeah.
You know, you've got to give Nicki her props, though.
-Nicki was running this shit before anyone. -She was,
-but not anymore. It's over! -But no one told her!
-It's over! -Absolutely.
-My thing is... -Okay, let me explain it.
-It's over. -No one told her, no one told her to get salty.
-Cardi B... -If she-- But if she would have took
Cardi under her wing and been like, "Yeah, this is my bitch,
da-da-da-da." She didn't have to be all,
"Ugh. I can't stand another bitch taking my spot."
Like, sit your salty ass down and just deal with it.
-Cardi B... -That's what I say.
Look, that is very smart.
-I was saying this last night. -BRANUM: If you have a hater,
collaborate with them, and then get to be
-on their Comedy Central show. -SPADE: Right.
Cardi destroyed her career with one phrase.
I don't even know how you spell it.
She said (rolls tongue) and it was over.
Very fickle that fan base.
I mean, Cardi jumped out
with that little Kodak remix,
that's really what got her shit popping,
so they better give my mans his respect.
Mans's can be one person, too, you do know that, right?
-Yeah. -My...
I'm following pieces of this.