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-Why sit behind a desk?
-Why sit behind a desk? -Yeah, I never get that.
-It's a power move.
-This guy's horrible. Don't listen to a word he has to say.
-Delete and block. Delete and block.
-One sec.
Hell, no!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-A top CDC official,
the director of the national center
for immunization and respiratory diseases,
said this week it was inevitable
and that disruption to everyday life may be severe.
So, you can either believe that expert,
a doctor and scientist who's received numerous awards
and worked in public health for decades,
or you can believe this expert.
-The virus -- They're working hard.
Looks like by April, you know, in theory,
when it gets a little warmer, it miraculously goes away.
Hope that's true.
-What?
What are you talking about?
It will go away when it gets warmer?
We're talking about a possible pandemic, not winter skin.
Cable news reacted with shock at Bernie's success in Nevada.
For example, as results were coming in
and it was clear that young voters
and people of color were going overwhelmingly for Sanders,
one anchor at a caucus site audibly sighed
as she reported the results.
-Largely people of color.
Of those, the majority are Latino,
and they are clearly, at least from eyeballing it,
[sighs] strongly in favor of Bernie Sanders
with Joe Biden coming in second.
-Oh, my God with the sigh!
She's reporting on Bernie winning a caucus site
the way you tell your parents why your dip[bleep] boyfriend
got fired from his job.
Well, he was using the copier, and, well, from eyeballing it,
it looks like he, uh -- [Sighs]
He photocopied his ass and put it up in the break room.
One thing that I was very impressed with
is we drew song titles that we did not see in advance
and then were told to give five minutes to write a song.
You guys wrote a very good song in five minutes.
It was disheartening.
-It was really scandalous.
I will say it's the most beautiful song I've ever heard
that has a line about 69ing. -Yeah.
-I think we're going to lean into the comedy of the show.
-Yeah, I think it's about time, right?
Yeah, 'cause I will say --
and I don't want to be critical of it --
very few laughs in the first three seasons.
-Very few laughs. And we've taken that note.
We understand that,
and we're going to lean into the comedy of it.
-I feel like that's what we're missing, is, like,
we would love to see the blooper reel from "Handmaid's."
[ Laughter ]
-Just with a lot of terrible sound effects like "Wah, wah."
-You said that my show gave you
a new way to think about a part of your body.
The penis specifically.
-I think about my penis differently, yeah.
-You describe it as the -- It's the most feminine.
-Yes, it's a feminine object.
At very least, it's all the stereotypes
that are applied to women are something that you could apply
to the penis, you know? The classic ones.
The sort of, "Oh, they're so sensitive.
They're needy. They nag you. They poke you in the night.
Oh, are you awake? I'm awake."
-Are you lonely? Looking to meet someone new?
Then call the Charlie Brown adults-only hot line now
to make a very special friend.
-So, uh...what are you wearing?
-Wa wa wawa wa wawa.
-Good grief.
-You had you a job at a very highly revered website.
-It was revered.
-Was it revered at the time? I don't remember well.
But it was Suck.com.
-Yeah. And when you say it like that, you make it sound dirty.
The website's gone, by the way.
It's vanished. You can't get it anymore.
But it was "suck" for, like, "This sucks,"
not for whatever you thought.
-What do you think I thought it was?!
-I don't know but it seemed like you were judging!
I love talking to people, especially from my era,
and their failed sketches.
You had one with Snoop.
-It's 20 years later, I see Snoop, and he's like,
"Finesse, why they didn't do 'The A-pimp-tice'?"
Donald Trump had come on the show the week before
we did this big "Apprentice" sketch.
So, Snoop comes on the week after,
and he ads has this grand idea to do "The A-pimp-tice."
And instead of saying "You're fired,"
I'll just smack a chick and say, "You tired."
And I was like, "Yeah, Snoop,
I don't think NBC gonna let you smack anybody."
-What was it like working with them?
-Oh, it's unbelievable because my daughter was 8 at the time,
and it was in the day in the last century
when it was answering machines,
before mobile phones and the Internet.
It was a little, red bleeping sign,
and she pressed the button when she came home from school,
and it said, "We offered you the Spice World manager
in "Spice World," the movie,
and she went absolutely ballistic.
And she said, "Dad, you've got to do it!
Dad, you've got to do it!" So, I did,
and I had playground status for the next two terms.
[ Laughter ] I was a god.
-I just want to take a moment to just celebrate the simple fact
of being on television.
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