Hey, what species would you be if you were a character in Middle Earth?
I like to think I’d be an elf, because I’m noble and wise, but…also kind of a dick.
Also, I have great hair. Also, I hate short people, and will probably live forever. Most
of that is true. Tell you what, though. I almost wouldn’t want to live forever, at
this point. I’m 30 years old, and I have already had more of these LEGO games than
I can stand and I can’t stand no more.
Can you imagine playing an eternity’s worth of LEGO games?
F*ck that, feed me to the dragon. It’s LEGO The Hobbit, for the Nintendo Wii U.
Speaking of dragons, the first two Hobbit movies are kind of about a dragon. Sorry for
the spoiler. And guess what? So is the third movie. And that’s the strange thing about
LEGO The Hobbit. This is a video game adaptation of the first two movies…in a trilogy of
movies. This makes very little sense, until you realize it’s a video game.
We’ll do this one now, and then we’ll do another one based on all three. Or a collection,
or something. We’ll bleed these hobbits for every penny they’re worth.
Signed, the gaming industry.
PS: There’s also DLC.
So, knowing full well that it’s an incomplete story…how is LEGO The Hobbit otherwise?
Well, that’s the easiest question ever. Have you ever played any other LEGO game?
Because that’s what LEGO The Hobbit is like. It’s like any other LEGO game. And that’s
not the worst thing in the world—the formula works, it’s always worked, why mess with
it?
I get that.
You know what it’s getting? Old, that’s what.
Now, of course, I say that as a guy who has to play pretty much every LEGO game. Like,
several times over. So the sameness hits me a little harder than it might others. Like,
if you’ve played a couple of games or whatever, and you really like the Hobbit…then yeah.
This game should be fine for you, you’ll have fun with it. That’s the thing about
LEGO games.
They’re always the same, but they’re always amusing.
Kind of like dwarfs. See, I’m so an elf.
I guess if anything struck me about this LEGO game in particular…it’s the scope. LEGO
The Hobbit does a great job of feeling like Middle Earth. It’s big, it’s epic…and
most of the time, it’s beautiful. This is a very pretty game, artistically. Some of
the environments are just gorgeous, and that contrast between realistic places and tiny
plastic faces is pretty awesome. From graphics to music, the game has exactly the presentation
it should have.
So if you’re a fan of the movie, you’ll love that.
As for the gameplay, though? I mean, I don’t know. Do you like LEGO games? ‘Cause this
is a LEGO game. You slash through enemies, you solve some puzzles, you collect LEGO studs.
It’s functionally the same as ever game since LEGO Star Wars. Which, by the way, came
out less than ten years ago. But it feels like ten more than that, ‘cause there have
been about ten thousand of these LEGO games.
You can switch between characters, each one has different weapons…and there’s some
platforming, here and there…actually, one problem is that some of the characters look
so similar, it can be hard to tell them apart and to pick the right one.
Like, they’re all short and have beards.
And I’m serious this time. I’m not being a dickhead elf.
These games are always at their best with multiplayer, though, and so is this one. In
fact, the Wii U version has a pretty neat benefit in that regard. Rather than doing
split-screen multiplayer, you can actually have one player playing on the TV…and the
other on the GamePad. Which is awesome. Honestly, if you’re getting this just for multiplayer,
this is the version to get.
That’s one of the major benefits of the Wii U’s GamePad. You can have an entire
screen to yourself for local multiplayer. You can see your character…even if it’s
a dwarf.
Okay, that time, I was being a dickhead elf.
Anyway, I’ve reviewed this game for a couple different platforms, I don’t even remember
anymore…so watch those for more. Not that there’s anything else to say, really. It’s
another LEGO game. Only this one has hobbits and dragons. And dwarfs. Not that there’s
anything wrong with that. And, hey…Traveller’s Tales.
How ‘bout a TMNT LEGO game?
You’ve literally done everything but that, the one LEGO game I actually want.
Come on, man. Take my money. I’m offering it to you.
It’s LEGO The Hobbit for the Wii U.