[music playing]
My name is Jake.
I'm 21, and I'm unemployed.
I don't actually intend to collect anything.
Pretty much, whatever comes in my house doesn't leave--
food wrappers, bottles, cans, any kind of garbage, really.
My name is Jo, and I'm Jake's mom.
I don't understand it.
I think that that's how it began.
Just all this stuff started piling up,
and it got to the point where it's too much.
JAKE: Every single object has a meaning behind it.
Say my mom buys me a water bottle.
I feel like, if I throw the water bottle away, that I'm
saying I don't love my mother.
JO: I can go in his room and see everything
I've ever brought over.
It's there.
JAKE: The reason there's so much dog hair in the house
is because I feel like if I throw
away the dog hair, that I'm going
to speed up my dog's aging.
And I know how insane that is, but I feel like I'm
killing her by doing it.
I don't even try anymore.
I used to.
I used to manage it somehow.
But it's such [bleep] when you can lose something
within a one-foot vicinity of you,
and you actually have to look for it.
It just has gotten so much worse.
My name's Franklin, and I am Jake's boyfriend.
My name's Terry.
I'm Jake's dad.
Jake and I live in--
actually, it's hard for me to just say this,
but Jake and I live, pretty much, in a garbage dump.
FRANKLIN: I honestly think that the house--
it's a two-person act.
Everything upstairs is all Jake, and everything downstairs
is all Terry.
JO: It's just, I mean, when they first moved in,
it was a regular apartment.
And now, it's just a junk heap.
TERRY: There are hundreds of bottles on the floor,
and that's just from six months.
But I've been piling them up for years.
I just don't take them out.
I don't care.
JAKE: I mean, my dad is definitely an alcoholic--
absolutely, no doubt.
I don't want to say it makes my situation any worse,
but it certainly makes it harder to focus on my own problems.
JO: He's such a good kid.
He'd never hurt anybody.
And he's-- and he's--
it's just sad that he has this disorder, whatever it is.
It breaks my heart.
[music playing]
I want things to work for him, that's all.
JAKE: They just spend their entire lives taking care of me
and making sure I'm OK.
And I'm 21, and--
[sobs] I'm sorry.
[sobs]
I'm 21.
I'm supposed to be out having fun,
graduating college, and all that,
but I can't even take care of my own hygiene.
Hi. It's Tara.
Hi.
I'm Dr. Tara Fields.
I'm a licensed psychotherapist.
I work with people who have OCD, hoarding disorders,
and then many other things.
JAKE: He wants to talk to you alone.
TARA FIELDS: OK
JAKE: I'm going to give you a warning.
He's extremely drunk right now.
All right, I'm gonna go talk to him.
All right.
[music playing]
TERRY: Terry, I hear you want to talk to me.
I'm Tara.
Well I'll be quite honest, I don't trust you guys.
TARA FIELDS: You know, I mean, I have
to-- you're bringing up something,
and I can smell you've been drinking.
Yes, I've been drinking.
So what?
So what? - Well--
What's that got to do with anything?
Stop being an [bleep] hole. TARA FIELDS: Well, it--
Why is that a problem?
What I see is Jake's getting very agitated.
Jake's getting agitated because I'm
giving you a hard time. That's all that is.
I'm getting agitated because you're
not being rational right now.
Just it's frustrating that you are just sitting on the grass
and drinking all day.
And do you know-- do you know what
it's like to see someone you care about doing that
to themselves?
Do you have any clue what it's like to see that?
I have to stand back, also, because I don't like the--
OK, you don't like the smell. You know what?
TARA FIELDS: I don't - I don't care what you like.
Mm-hmm.
You got here five minutes ago.
What do you know about him? TARA FIELDS: Um.
You know nothing.
JAKE: Dad, do not get in her face.
No. You know what?
It's-- it's OK.
Do you-- do you want me to be a part of this?
(CRYING) I do. It's just--
OK.
And here's what I want to reassure you about--
and your dad can choose to listen or not--
is that you're gonna be in control.
Anything you don't want to do, you just tell me.
So you have all the control.
TERRY: I can-- TARA FIELDS: I promise you.
I can actually just leave.
Is that OK?
- I am so OK with that. - No.
No, you have all the power.
Jake wants me to leave. OK, do you want--
JAKE: You just said that. - Do you want her to be here?
Yes, I do!
OK, I want her to be here, too, for you.
But I don't have to be here with her.
TARA FIELDS: You don't have to, absolutely.
- She's here for you. - That's right
- She's not here for me. - That's right.
Let's continue and see the home.
All right.
Bye, dad.
Don't trust a word she says.
Dad, shut the [bleep] up.
TARA FIELDS: (WHISPERING) Oh, Jake.
It's OK. It's OK.
It's OK.
What-- what-- what's
- It's so [bleep] up. - You know what?
It is.
You're absolutely right.
It is.
You're absolutely right.
So you've got two battles going on.
Your dad did have a point.
You don't know me.
It takes time to build trust.
So whatever you need from me to feel safe with me,
you tell me, OK?
JAKE: The anxiety's pretty high right now.
It's really weird seeing a bunch of people
you don't know putting on face masks,
about to go in your house.
It's, uh, an interesting situation, to say the least.
TARA FIELDS: So what's the feeling that's coming up now?
JAKE: I'm just scared.
TARA FIELDS: OK.
And what are you afraid of?
Just, like, how--
So rate your anxiety for me.
Where is it on a scale of 1 to 10?
It's definitely like a solid 8 right now.
TARA FIELDS: OK.
It keeps, like, going up and down because I keep
considering different outcomes.
TARA FIELDS: And I'm really clear that we don't want it
to get to a level 9, because we know level 10 is
too much for him to handle.
So if I can really convince him that anything below a 9--
if it's an 8, if it's 7, if his heart's beating--
that he can actually manage that.
OK, this is what I need to hear to help you.
Tell me what that voice is saying when it's
talking about the outcomes.
Because this is how you freeze yourself,
how you get that brain lock, is that you
start jumping ahead too far, and how's it gonna turn out?
Don't jump ahead, OK?
Don't jump ahead.
Stay in the moment.
Right now, you're outside.
[music playing]
So the liquor bottles are all here?
Um, these are liquor bottles.
All under that table, this entire closet's
full of bags full of liquor bottles.
I'd say there's about 1,000 wine bottles downstairs.
Um, that's not my doing.
That's my father's doing.
.
Is this all one?
No, it's not.
Oh, my God!
I never knew this was down here.
CREW: This is like the beginning of it.
Terry Greenly.
[laughter]
What is wrong with him?
[music playing]
Oh, my God.
Jake?
JAKE: What?
Are you [bleep] kidding me?
No.
[music playing]
How does it feel?
It feels good, but it's really disturbing to see how much.
TARA FIELDS: Mm-hmm.
[jake sighs]
You did it.
Mm, you did it. You did it.
You did it. You did it.
You did it. OK.
This is so [bleep] up seeing, like--
OK.
They're like evidence of what he's done to himself.
It was abstract before, but now it's, like, solid
and contained. TARA FIELDS: Yep
And it-- TARA FIELDS: Yep.
It stinks.
I mean, I can smell the liquor.
I can smell the filth.
And then I can only imagine what it was like when
the drinking was going on.
JAKE: This is garbage, but I have a really
hard time accepting that.
I just-- I just think like this is so many memories.
Mm-hm.
But you know what?
The more you find out that you can tolerate this,
the better it's gonna be.
OK, where are we now?
(CRYING) Like, an 8.
TARA FIELDS: OK.
So where do you feel it in your body?
Everywhere.
My whole body just hurts.
TARA FIELDS: No, I want to know specifically,
where do you feel it?
My head feels like it's about to explode.
TARA FIELDS: OK. What else?
It's, like, this intense pounding.
My mouth is going dry.
TARA FIELDS: Mm-hmm.
My arms are getting weak. TARA FIELDS: OK.
It's just, like--
TARA FIELDS: Do you feel anything--
I used to play this game all the time when I was a kid.
TARA FIELDS: I know.
And you don't now.
And I really-- I get that.
And what's the worst thing that would
happen if you threw it out?
What-- what-- what's the worst thing that could happen?
Realistically? TARA FIELDS: Yeah.
Nothing.
TARA FIELDS: Right.
This stuff is just a lie.
It'll never be able to play it again.
Right
JAKE: But I don't think-- I mean, look at that.
It's cracked. It's--
TARA FIELDS: Yeah.
And if you never play it again, then what?
Why is that so awful.
[cd cracking]
Oh, yeah. In the garbage.
[jake sighs]
In the garbage.
[jake sighs]
TARA FIELDS: Amazing.
Amazing!
JAKE: I'm just gonna to do this as fast as I
can, before I change my mind and decide I don't want to do this.
Because-- OK.
[music playing]
[sighs] Getting rid of the dog hair
is definitely going to be the hardest thing for me.
To make my dog's life better, I have
to do something that my brain tells me is killing my dog.
[crying]
I just want her, the last couple years of her life,
to be the best years she's ever had, because I owe it to her.
If there's one thing that'll seriously just take me down,
it's this.
[music playing]
TARA FIELDS: So this is the final hurdle.
You are so close, so close to what
you said you wanted days ago when I first
met you, which is clear slate.
I know.
And a clear slate, you can write anything you want on it.
So let's-- let's start.
If you can do this, clear this up, that's graduation.
Really?
TARA FIELDS: That's graduation.
JAKE: It's like I'm doing it for her, you know?
TARA FIELDS: And remember--
JAKE: And I just don't want her to live in a bad situation
anymore. - Yeah.
That shows how much you love her.
[crying]
It shows how brave you are.
That's love.
(CRYING) I love her so much.
TARA FIELDS: Mm-hmm.
[music playing]
JAKE: This is helping her breathing.
This is helping my breathing.
Oh, my gosh.
[giggling] You're right, this is all bull [bleep]
This is all total bull [bleep]
You are amazing.
This is all such bull [bleep],, I can't even--
this is my dog's dead-- this is dead hair.
It's nothing.
I am so down for doing this right now.
I am so OK right now.
I mean, I'm not, but I'm OK.
I'm OK.
TARA FIELDS: Mm-hmm.
What Jake achieved was phenomenal.
And it was huge progress forward.
[sighs] But as I say, when I work with addicts,
you know, all addicts have a big support system
that allows them to continue their behavior.
You know?
The other people, sort of, in this play that's his life
haven't been around.
JAKE: My dad's gonna flip out, probably.
Even though this is all beneficial, to him even,
he doesn't want it happening.
He would prefer to stay in the mess, I think.
[music playing]