· From a school that teaches you to defend against dark magic to classes taken in a subterranean
bomb shelter, we count fifteen weird schools offering unusual educations!
15 – Elf School, · Move over Scientology, a belief in elves
bumps Iceland up in the crazy stakes.
· Get this: the country’s road crews hire folklore experts to determine which boulders
are elf houses, and a member of Icelandic Parliament told the media he was saved from
a car crash by – you guessed it!
– elf magic.
· With all this elf juice in the water, it’s not surprising the country has an actual elf
school, where students learn the comprehensive history of elves and get a tour of supposedly
proven elf habitats.
· Graduates get breakfast and a signed diploma certifying them official elf experts.
It’s actually a dual degree, though, ’cause it also certifies them the fucking mayor of
Crazy Town!
14 – Cave School, · Miao village is a poor, mountainous area
in China that receives very little government support.
· Fortunately, the village’s residents know that when life gives you lemons, you
make a goddamn cave school.
Lacking the resources to build a proper school, the community instead set one up inside a
nearby cave and called it Dongzhong Mid-Cave Primary.
· This unique school catered to 186 disadvantaged students, many of whom travelled up to six
hours a day just for the chance to learn something.
· The school enjoyed twenty-three years of operation before authorities closed it in
2011.
A government spokesperson said the closure was necessary because China isn’t a ‘society
of cavemen’.
· Hopefully the government is more open to volcano school.
13 – Subterranean School, · During the Cold War, America was a bee’s
dick away from nuclear warfare.
In preparation, the New Mexican town of Artesia built an underground school that could also
function as a fallout shelter.
· Except for its rooftop playground, everything about Abo Elementary School was underground.
Its three 800-kilogram steel doors made it resistant to radiation and 20-megaton blasts.
· The school contained decontamination showers; a morgue, generator and well; and all the
food and meds a deranged survivalist could want.
· Amazingly, most students had no idea they were spending their days hauled up inside
a bomb shelter.
I guess they thought underground schools were completely normal, like when a blind first
date asks you to follow them down to their creepy basement.
12 – Freerunning School, · Are you sick of boring English and stupid
Geometry?
Course you are: that crap won’t help you in life.
You already know that you want to be Sonic the Hedgehog when you grow up, and run loop-de-loops
and up walls and shit.
· The Tempest Freerunning Academy is the place for you.
It’s an LA-based parkour paradise where students are taught how to run, jump, flip
and climb through specially designed courses – useful skills for getting through life.
11 – Wizard School, · For those who tried to reach Platform Nine
and Three-Quarters but got a broken nose and a sorting hat full of disappointment, the
Grey School of Wizardry might be just the alternative you’re looking for.
· Created by headmaster and Dumbledore doppelgänger Oberon Zell-Ravenheart, the Grey School of
Wizardry is the first wizard school to be officially recognised as an academic establishment.
· This Californian school has sixteen departments, including alchemy, beastmastery, horse-whispering
and wand-making.
It also has a compulsory Defence Against the Dark Arts class.
· Like Hogwarts, students are split into one of four houses: the Gnomes, Winds, Undines
and Salamanders.
The Salamanders sounds like where all the bad students would be sorted, so expect the
next evil overlord to come from there.
10 – Prostitution School, · In Spain, prostitution is as legal as baking
your neighbour a pie.
In fact, there are currently as many as 400,000 working prostitutes in Spain.
The number of pies is unknown.
· Think all those prostitutes are low-lives from the streets who lack even a basic education?
Well … not all of them are!
Some are graduates from Trabajo Ya, a Valencian school that teaches students how to become
the strong, confident working girls of tomorrow.
· Classes at prostitute school involve both theory and practice, with students being taught
highly practical things like the Karma Sutra, the dos and don’ts of sex toys, the history
and evolution of prostitution and the admittedly less sexy Business 101.
9 – Free School, · At Brooklyn Free School, learning is entirely
self-motivated, with students setting the curriculum and taking any classes they want.
They don’t even have to attend if they don’t feel like it.
The inmates literally run this asylum!
· Some students choose to do ‘independent studies’, which is staying in your room
learning about weed and Nintendo.
Others spend days wandering around, playing ball games or even napping.
One class involves discussing TV shows while another has students comparing restaurants
– then taking excursions to eat at those restaurants.
· There are no tests, homework or grades, and all classes are run by students, with
teachers only on hand to moderate and, presumably, to break up fights.
· The school’s been criticised for its lack of a proper curriculum, but the super
chill principal says every student just needs to find his or her own way, man.
8 – Naropa University, · Nestled in the Colorado woodlands, Naropa
University is a Buddhist-inspired alternative school for students who want a ‘contemplative
education’.
Students here take tai chi, yoga and mandatory meditation classes, and the school boasts
the best synchronised meditation team in the country!
Wait … what?
· Degrees are offered in Buddhist studies, and students can attain super-useful certificates
in theatre, peace studies and poetry.
Don’t forget to try the course in wilderness therapy, which includes a class on vision
quests.
My spirit animal is a drunk, three-legged giraffe who wears sunglasses ’cause he’s
always hungover.
· Naropa University has a graduation rate of only nineteen percent.
With these limited career prospects, life in your parents’ basement has never looked
so good.
· The institute once hosted lectures by the beat poet Allen Ginsberg, which the institute
still won’t shut up about.
7 – No Rules School, · The first rule of Burgess Hill School is
… don’t make Fight Club references; the second rule is … rules are stupid and will
not be permitted!
· That’s right, at this suburban London school, students had the freedom to do absolutely
anything they wanted!
It made Brooklyn’s Free School look like a regimented nunnery.
· Students here could smoke in class, bring in dogs or cats or even sharks, listen to
rock and/or roll music, and ride their parents’ Harleys around campus.
There was no dress code, so leather jackets and funky-coloured hair were in.
Only rebels wore uniforms.
· The school has since closed, but was considered very progressive in its 1960s heyday.
Its graduates presumably went on to run the country.
6 – Ohio College of Clown Arts, • Ah, the Ohio College of Clown Arts, where
everyone’s a class clown.
This institution is for actors who want to become versed in the art of physical comedy.
It’s also for those with parents who want them to follow family tradition and become
lawyers.
Looking for an interesting way to rebel?
Clown College has got your back!
• Over thirty weeks, students learn about character development, physical skills and
performing techniques.
There are theoretical and practical exams, so study hard ’cause you don’t want to
be the guy who flunked Clown College.
• Graduates go on to work at circuses, fairs, children’s birthday parties and in horror
movies.
5 – Santa Claus School, · If you want to round out your resume you
might consider getting a qualification from the Charles W. Howard Santa Claus School.
· Established in 1937, this is the Princeton of Santa Claus schools and is dedicated to
upholding the traditions, image and history of Saint Nick.
· Students will learn Santa dress code, correct Santa etiquette, and how to safely interact
with live reindeers.
Rudolph hates it when you honk his nose, so don’t even think about it!
· The school is in Michigan, but if you’re from the North Pole you could probably go
there and feel right at home.
4 – Maharishi Schools, · These schools are for students who are
tired of learning practical stuff like maths and English.
· Maharishi schools preach transcendental meditation and promise that students here
will develop clairvoyance, invisibility and levi-freaking-tation.
· The schools claim to offer a nice, normal, balanced curriculum, but also insist upon
mandatory twice-a-day meditation sessions.
Advocates of the school claim it is ‘scientifically proven’ to make you psychic.
But I bet they already knew I was gonna say that.
· The guru who founded these schools was once linked to The Beatles until they canned
him for stealing and behaving inappropriately.
· How this school attained taxpayer funding is a mystery.
It seems pretty cultish, with children being promised magic powers so long as they go home
and convert their parents to transcendental meditation.
3 – Hamburger University, · Yes, this is actually real: McDonald’s
built a school.
Unfortunately, its purpose isn’t to train people in the fine art of hamburger-making.
That’s still covered in the first five minutes of new employees’ on-the-job induction.
Kind of misleading, I know.
· What the Hamburger University actually does is offer training in restaurant operations.
It’s basically a college for restaurateurs.
Five thousand students attend each year, with many graduating to management positions.
· The school has nineteen full-time professors.
However, it’s unclear if they teach in-character as Ronald McDonald.
· Seems like a pretty cool place, and rumour has it the degree you get at the end comes
in a colourful box with a toy.
2 – Stadium School, · Most schoolkids today spend more time staring
out windows than actually learning.
This isn’t surprising because science teachers speak in monotonal gibberish.
Here’s a roughly translated example: ‘The boring bore boring relies on the bla-bla boring
boring and hugggh unbearably dull to bla boring uninterestiiiiing.’
· But if you thought it was hard to concentrate in your school, spare a thought for students
at Argentina’s River Plate School.
This school is located in the home stadium of one of Europe’s most prominent soccer
teams, so many students spend their time watching their favourite players pass and perform scissor
kicks when they should be passing notes and misusing scissors.
1 – Boat Schools, · In Bangladesh, floods are common occurrences,
and they regularly leave citizens without access to clean water, electricity, or other
necessities.
· Since it’s difficult for schools to stay open during these times, a local non-profit
organisation came up with a super solution: they schools that can walk on water just like
Jesus.
· There are a hundred of these boat schools.
Each one is solar-powered, and comes with laptop computers, internet access and a library
that may or may not have those waterproof books that you can read while in the bath.
· The boat schools also function as school buses, meaning school literally comes to the
students.
70,000 kids have benefited from this initiative since 2002.