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I've always liked to follow your career,
because I love knowing what movies Zach Galifianakis
turned down.
Lets be honest. You're like the 4th guy they call.
Right? I mean, when you can't get Will Ferrell,
or Carell, or Zach, then you call Paul Rudd, and you
say, "Paul, do you have Danny McBride's phone number?"
You're a legend. You've done so many great work on
3rd Rock from the Sun, ran for many years. You played
an extraterrestrial.
That's right.
John, the show's been over for 10 years.
You can take off the make-up.
(laughing) You see, because he's freaking looking good.
I can see why Judd wants you, you know.
You're a great actor, and at the premiere, they
can project the movie on your forehead.
[John laughs]
You're not only funny, but you're an incredible
actress. You really are. Not just in Funny People,
but I'm sure in bed when you're pretending to enjoy sex with Judd.
Okay, this is big. I've got the director here, Judd Apatow.
Now just to get this right, because I hear it
both ways, is it pronounced Ap-a-tow, or Crap-a-tow?
You were in "I Love You, Man"
That's did pretty well.
Yeah, that was alright.
That was a bromance.
Yeah. It's been described as such.
Yes, I saw that. It was so boring I wanted to bro, my brains out.
(laughs) See?
Ah, I have a beautiful mind.
No, seriously, your favorite movies that you've done.
That you've done.
This one now.
This one now, and Knocked Up.
And Knocked Up.
See, it's not that she's biased, because they're
Judd's, her husband's movies.
Honestly, if you've seen her other movies, you know
they suck.
It's called This Is 40, right on the hairs of your
last movie which was not called, This Is 40 Minutes Too Long.
Yes.
And you call that movie your love letter to stand-up.
Correct?
I'm afraid so.
I tend to disagree. I think your love letter
to stand-up was when you stopped doing stand-up.
This is something people don't know.
You've written, John Lithgow has written
many, many children's books.
That's right.
Amazing. That makes you twice as creepy.
Tell me, is this a spin-off of Knocked Up, or
is it the 5th and 6th hours of Funny People?
How long is this one going to be? Because you know,
let me tell you something, I heard the new version
of Final Cut has a feature that allows you to edit
things out of a movie. You should try it.
Just consider it.
You wouldn't want to waste the film once you've shot it.
I know. He's such a good Jewish boy.
He's a member of the clean plate club of film as it were.
I'm here with the stunning Megan Fox.
Right now. Right here. Look at you.
You're so life like. It's incredible.
Thank you.
So beautiful. I must confess, right off the bat,
full disclosure, I have an erection if you want to see.
I don't. That's okay.
It's okay. You don't...
You have a love stick out. I see.
It's an erection.
It happens.
It happens. You've seen it, you know.
The woman love Paul Rudd. Let's not kid ourselves.
You're handsome. You're non-threatening.
You're only slightly taller than their vibrators.
We are witnessing the process right now.
Judd Apatow is studying the scene, and
assessing what it needs.
A dick joke, or a balls joke.
So give me a little bit.
Na-noo. Na-noo.
Do it for me. Na-noo. Na-noo.
No-no, that's not 3rd Rock.
Yes it is. Na-noo. Na-noo. Na-noo!
That's Mork and Mindy.
Who?
Robin Williams said that.
Ah, that's such a cop out. That's exactly what
William Shatner said. Come on.
Na-noo. Na-noo. Do it.
No, no.
Na-noo! Na-noo!
Na-noo. Na-noo.
Na-noo! Na-noo!
Na-noo. Na-noo.
You like to do things that shock people right?
Like for example, calling yourself an actress.
Right.
That was what I was going for.
Exactly.
Shock value.
You're not as nice as my rottweiler.
(laughs) Alright.
I-It's what I do.
And you have to do it.
God put me on this planet to hurt people.
I understand. Right.
And help people by hurting people.
I feel that I've been helped. So...
No-no. You're supposed to be hurt.
So that others can be hurt.
Oh. Okay.
They feel better about themselves--
From hurting?
--And then they feel good, because you laugh
at yourself.
Right. Right.
I'm so full of shit.
Anyway (laughs).
Let me ask you a question.
When you saw Albert Brooks' hairy knuckles, did you
think you were doing the sequel to Harry and the Hendersons?
[laughs]
Now that was a movie.
You're a big success, honestly, all the money
you have, and you still kept that face.
You could do anything to improve it, like, cover it
up with money.
I like your beard very much.
Thank you.
But enough about Leslie Mann. Boom!
You see, because he's a homosexual.
Everyone's a homosexual.
No, seriously, is this a beard, or just something
left over from kissing Garry Shandling's ass?
It is leftover.
He has a hairy one. We all know that.
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