- Let's play a game of dating Mad Libs.
Wow! You are really attractive for a blank.
I would never date a blank.
Or how about I only date blank,
because they're really blank.
I've got some bad news for you.
Whether it's online or in real life,
when it comes to dating, at some point
the question of racial preferences comes into play.
You're going out with a...
She's going out with a black guy.
No, no, it's...
I mean, hello, Obama.
When you look at the numbers,
dating sites paint a very specific picture
of who's trying to get with who online.
A recent study analyzed 2.4 million interactions
on the Facebook app Are You Interested,
and it found that most men were interested
in women outside of their race,
but overall, they preferred Asian women.
And data from over a million messages exchanged on OkCupid
showed that white women tend to favor white men
while Asian and Latina women
almost exclusively go for white guys.
Man, when is a white man gonna get a break in this nation.
On the other hand, black men, Asian men, and black women
tend to get the lowest response online.
And keep in mind,
that's just when it comes to straight people.
So what's going on here?
Now when you bring it down to a personal level,
you could argue that you can't control
what you're attracted to.
I don't know, it's just like in my bones,
I just want to bone Asian chicks.
As it turns out, attraction is really complicated.
That's because perceptions of who's hot and who's not
are largely influenced by society.
Look, I was born this way, okay?
I've just never been into black guys.
That includes everything from social status,
body type, and yes, race.
Historically, white people have always been framed
as the ideal beauty standard.
Just Google beautiful woman or beautiful man,
and you'll see lots and lots of white.
And other than Denzel, People magazine's
Sexiest Man Alive is always a white guy.
Really?
We got old ass Harrison Ford and no Ronaldo?
That man is simply dashing.
Even in communities of color,
historically people who are multi-racial,
part white, or fair skinned,
are often seen as more attractive.
In the 1920s, the paper bag test
was used to mark the cutoff for attractive black folks
as nothing darker than a paper bag.
Allegedly, there were even black sororities and fraternities
that required pledges to pass the test.
But it's not just the black community
that deals with these nasty beauty standards.
In China and India, it's not uncommon to see
skin-lightening commercials
where women go from ugly to beautiful
as their skin becomes lighter.
In fact, one of the most popular photo editing apps in Asia
can not only lighten skin tones, but even widen eyes.
So yes, attraction and beauty,
the things that feel incredibly personal,
and almost automatic,
can be skewed by society's preconceptions.
But it's not just about whiteness.
When being white is presented as the ideal beauty standard,
society fetishizes and dismisses anything that's different.
I mean, how many of these have we all heard?
Asian women are slight, delicate, and submissive.
Black men are aggressive.
Latinos are passionate.
Asian dudes are weak, and have small (bleep).
There's just so many and they're so racist!
The problem is even positive stereotypes,
or wow, I can't believe you don't fit the stereotype,
is still racist.
Once this guy told me,
whoa, you're like the prettiest black girl
I have ever seen.
Which sounds like a compliment,
but um, have you seen Beyonce?
And even so, that essentially says
that I'm pretty despite being black,
or that all black girls are ugly.
No thanks.
But what about people of color
that don't want to date white people?
Well, that's kinda tricky too.
Because usually, people of color
not wanting to date white people
is a defense mechanism to avoid being fetishized
or overt racism.
So who the hell can you be attracted to?
Can you never date outside your race?
Can you even change your own psychology?
Here, I'm gonna let you in on a little
not-so-secret secret, I'm married...
to a white guy.
I don't even know you!
And I didn't end up with him because he's white.
I like him because he's funny and weird
and he makes me happy.
And if you haven't really dated outside of
your own race or ethnicity,
just leave yourself open to being surprised.
Maybe that Asian guy's got a huge heart.
Have you ever dated someone outside your race?
Let me know in the comments,
and check out the description box
to take the look different racial bias quiz
to dig deep and see some of the ways
racial bias might be affecting you.
In our first vlog, we asked
if fried chicken and watermelon were racist.
Let's take a look at some of your comments.
I'm sorry michalovesanime,
I would totally offer you some chicken,
but I'm stuck here inside your computer.
Help.
Thanks misslight2008, we are all about the learnings
here at Decoded.
Oh really, Allan Tj?
Am I annoying? Am I annoying?
Is this annoying you?
Are you annoyed? Are you annoyed?
Hmm, never heard that one before, Splinks.
But fun fact, some people actually put mayo
on their french fries.
I'm not gonna say who.
Think about it.
Well Brian, you are in luck,
because we talked about
lots of racial stereotypes in this video.
Bam.
Oh, Sam, yes.
Salt on watermelon is the weirdest thing,
but it tastes so good.
And thank you for the compliments.
I like you.
And finally, John, you are absolutely right.
Everyone loves donuts,
and if you live down south,
you like donuts with a melted piece of cheese on top.
Don't judge me, they kinda taste amazing.